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KKTT_ihopeidontdie: TIFU cuz i slept over without permission TIFU cuz i slept over without my parents permission So a bit of background of my family. It's a typical Asian family, like girls aren't allowed to go through night time, cant go private with boys, being obedient and stuff like that. So u can figured out that girl going sleep over is a no. But last night i went partying with my close friends. I was like half sober, i can definitely go home but all of my friends were knock out and i cant leave them there. So i had to text mom i cant go home tonight. And she ofcourse sent a long message telling i was selfish, irrogant and basically being irresponsible. So i was too scared to read all those so i turn my wifi off, called the cab for my friends and we stayed together at one of my friends apartment. After i take care of everyone, when everyone was starting to get sober, i started getting drunk. I mean i only drank like 5 shots but i stopped right there. So i think the drunk kinda slowly coming. I went to bed and the next morning mom called me asking if i go home or not. I said i go home and i did went home. But no one including my parents and my brother at home. So now im waiting in fear not knowing what's gonna happen to me after they got home. I know i'm wrong, i am calm and willing to take the consequences but im still scared. I wanted to crash the truck on my way back home not to face all of this. TL:DR I sleep over at my friends home without my parents permission, they got pissed but now when i'm at home, they're not here and i dunno what's gonna happen I'll update after they got home. Update1: they got home at 12p.m, but i was sleeping so they didn't say anything. But my room door was closed now so i dont know what to do. firey21: Are you 12? KKTT_ihopeidontdie: Nope I'm 19 firey21: Jayzus. KKTT_ihopeidontdie: And the thing is I haven't got enough finance to move out, so i'm still living with my parents and i'm still in university. But for my parents, unless u get married then u can sleep wherever u want. And they think i'm too young to do adult stuff firey21: Guess what though. You are an adult.

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[deleted]: TIFU by not reading the credits to a porn movie [deleted] AcrobaticSource3: You have a weird side gig, sir. KcocNoisnetxeGib: Right?!? And I read this twice for the sheer “how the fuck does one get a job like that?“ factor. Lol Yisuscrais69: It al starts with someone asking you “what are you willing to do” when you’re facing homelessness and/or starvation right on their ugly mugs for one to just calmly start ignoring the weirdness out of whatever gig comes their way. AurumArgenteus: Sadly, this is true. It's insane we treat food, medicine, and housing as privileges so corporations can coerce us into worse working conditions.

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Ok_Play_4391: TIFU by taking a DNA test Well, this fuck up starts about a month ago when I decided to take a DNA test to learn more about where my family comes from. I used one of those services where you mail in a sample and wait for results. It lets you know what percentage of DNA you share with other family members that used the service. I was looking forward to see the the results. So much so that I got my parents a kit to test themselves for Christmas. They haven’t sent theirs in yet. Let’s fast forward to yesterday morning, when I checked my email and saw that my results were in. Some of the information was pretty cool to see, but there was one thing that stuck out like a sore thumb. I have a different biological father than I’ve thought for my entire life. I share about half of my DNA with his brother, who happened to test his DNA with the same service before he passed. I was definitely not expecting this and I have way more questions than answers right now. All of my brothers are half brothers and I’m technically older than my niece. I haven’t talked to my mom about it yet, but I’ve talked to a couple of friends. My cousin has access to the email and got a message with the results. I’m not sure if they’ve checked their email. I could have lived my entire life not knowing this, but here we are. I know none of it was in my control but I definitely don’t feel good about it. TLDR: I took a DNA test and it turns out that I’m the product of an affair between my mother and father’s brother. DarkAthena: Uhhhh, I’d talk to your mom before jumping to any conclusions. Siblings share very similar DNA and your father hasn’t sent his in yet. If there were an affair, I think your mom might be freaking out and your post doesn’t indicate that. Ok_Play_4391: I left out details for identity sake, but I guess it is important to mention that they are half brothers -Chris-V-: Ah this is relevant. Tread lightly and do not jump to any conclusions. If your parents have provided you with a loving home, consider protecting that. Tell your parents that the lab screwed up the test and you couldn't get a result. This doesn't have to shatter things. It's important to also point out that there could be an explanation. A friend of mine had a similar experience and learned that he was conceived with the help of a sperm donor. Bringing this up was a major invasion of his dad's privacy, and he really regretted it. aussie_nub: It's pretty bad that the parents didn't tell him that. Both my niece and nephew are IVF babies. My niece is biologically my sister and BIL's but my nephew is not. He will be told that and told that they wanted him so much that they were willing to do whatever to have him and that he's loved equally as if was biologically theirs. The major difference is when he goes to a doctor. When a question like "Any history of heart disease in your family?", he'll be able to give an honest answer and get the proper help immediately. -Chris-V-: My understanding is that the donor had extensive screening done. The nonbiological father is a physician. But I agree.

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throwaway_20202222: Tifu by trying to take care of nether acne This story starts about an hour ago when I got out of the shower, when I had noticed a particularly large white bump on my privates. So I did what any idiot would do and wanted to see if I could just.. pop it, like a zit. After a few uncomfortable minutes of attempting different angles I knew I wasn't going to be able to get it out using just my fingers. So, I pulled out my acne/manicure kit and grabbed an acne removal needle. After poking at what I had mistaken for acne I found it was actually completely solid. It was at this point I started growing more worried and started looking for answers online and couldn't find anything to match what I was looking for, so I ventured onward.. by grabbing the dead skin removing knife from the kit and trying to cut out this massive bump. So after 40 minutes of craning my neck, bleeding all over a rag I sat on and going through way more rubbing alcohol and swear words than I should have; I finally managed to remove what was actually an ingrown hair which was at one point infected, and the remaining pus had solidified. TLDR: I tried to remove what I thought was a zit and instead played operation where the sun doesn't shine in an attempt to remove an 3/4 inch ingrown hair with old rock hard pus which I now know is called a skin abcess. I'd post a picture if I could. Longjumping_Bed2907: Oh boy you better clean it well and put some neosporin or something similar on it. throwaway_20202222: oh I did, last thing I want is round 2 Longjumping_Bed2907: Yeah or sepsis throwaway_20202222: jesus, that's reassuring, and a damn good reason to keep it clean Longjumping_Bed2907: Yes. For sure

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CumTastingThrowaway: TIFU by accidentally tasting my own cum. [removed] thickhipstightlips: Gahahahahahahaa CumTastingThrowaway: please, i’ve suffered already you don’t need to laugh 😭 thickhipstightlips: You shouldn't share such a hilariously embarrassing story on Reddit then 🤷‍♀️ Maybe don't eat or lick stuff that is on your bed next time 😂 CumTastingThrowaway: i was going to post this on my main account too 😭 thickhipstightlips: Oh dear troll, you're trying too hard for attention

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Dirnol: TIFU by putting up a snowflake wall for the holidays My wife and I just bought our first house in 2022 and since we don’t have a lot in the way of decorations yet we’ve been getting creative with things we can make ourselves. For Halloween, I printed out hundreds of little bats with my Cricut and put them on the wall with blue tack. It went so well that I wanted to do the same thing for Christmas with snowflakes. I had started to work on an easily printable snowflake design when my wife showed me these bags of snowflakes from [Big Hobby Store] that looked perfect, and they were 60% off. I ended up buying 5 bags for less than $15 and the wall decoration turned out great! The fuck up is that I didn’t test the adhesive snowflake backing on the wall before I committed to putting up roughly 600 of them. It turns out the adhesive is awful and trying to pull off the snowflakes takes all the paint off the wall with them. I’ve tried Goo Gone, scraping, dish soap, and finally steam which works better but takes roughly 2 minutes per snowflake of applied steam to remove. So today I have rented a pressure steamer and am slowly trying to unstick them from the wall with minimal paint damage to try and avoid completely redoing the entire wall. Tl;dr Test your adhesive before using it on your wall or you’ll never love Christmas again St3phiroth: Did you try a heat gun yet? That's what I used on some troublesome adhesive on drywall. AlmostChristmasNow: Seconding the heat gun. I recently took off the probably 30yo mirror tiles off my door, then put on new ones that I took off again a few weeks later (the placement of the new ones made a line through the middle of my face), then put them on again. I love the heat gun. (Although I did shatter one of the mirrors by aiming the heat gun at it for too long because I got distracted, and it fell off.)

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tyrannosnorlax: TIFU by breaking things off with a fling, and promptly getting dick-bombed afterwards. Dick bombed? What’s that? Well, let me tell you a tragic tale. Obligatory not today, but: I had just (years ago) started working at a restaurant, and there was a cute server who flirted with me during our shifts. We seemed to be hitting it off so we decided to hang out outside of work, and it seemed to be cool the first time we chilled. We made out, got a little heavy petting in, and then called it a night. I went to work the next day, and other people started asking me if (we’ll use the name) Kim was my girlfriend, because she had told everyone that I was her boyfriend now. Okay. Strange, but nothing a little damage control couldn’t manage. I set the record straight with everyone at work, including her. She seemed fine with the “news” that we weren’t exclusive, and we decided to continue hanging out. Well, we hung out three times the over the next week or so, and for context, she didn’t have any shifts at the restaurant during that time. Well, the next shift that she had was during one of mine, and it happened again. I kept hearing that she was telling everyone that she was my girlfriend. At this point, I decided that the booty was no longer worth the squeeze, so after work, I walked her to her car and officially cut it off with her. This was the right decision, but at the time, it turned into what seemed like a big mistake. That night, about an hour after I left work, the “dick bomb” began. I started getting dick pics texted to my phone. Not just a few dicks, either; it was ALL the dicks. Y’all may have been to pecker village, but I was living in dick city that night. Every 5 minutes or less, a new number, and a new set of male genitalia coming (sometimes literally) across my phone screen. So what caused this acockalypse? Kim had taken my photos, and my number, and posted an explicit ad on the male4male Craigslist page, with instructions to send peen pics, and I would “service” the best ones. I eventually asked one of the guys how they got my number, which is how I found out. By the next morning, after having turned my phone off to sleep peacefully, I turned it back on and had over 100 bright and shiny penises waiting for me. Naturally I confronted Kim (gently) and asked her to remove the listing, and I spoke with management at work. I also had to change my number that day, as the pictures never stopped. Shit kinda went off the rails for a week or so after. Kim went a little nuts every time we had to work together. In fact, I don’t think she finished a whole shift after the confrontation. She would hyperventilate when she saw me. She’d go puke in the ash tray out back. She’d sit in the break room shaking and crying and telling everyone I emotionally abused her and broke her heart. It was a lot. For a reminder, I knew this girl for a total of like 8-14 days at this point. I’m pretty sure she got fired after a few days of this, and life went on. It took another couple weeks afterwards to repair my reputation at work, but the damage to my eyes was done and irreparable. Let this be a warning. Don’t fuck with a dickbomber. TLDR: knew a girl for two weeks. Messed around a few times. She was beyond clingy, so I called it off, then she immediately placed an ad with my phone number and photo in the m4m Craigslist page, requesting dick pics from my entire geographical region. Agitated_Year8521: If she's willying to do that after a couple of weeks then I'd be glad of the warning, not a FU just a life lesson tyrannosnorlax: It certainly was a life lesson, and a good one. And to narrow it down, it wasn’t even a couple weeks. We hung out like 3-4 times over the course of 5-6 days, and that was it. The vast majority of the insanity was in the following week or two Olaf4586: Looking back, were there any red flags in those few days? tyrannosnorlax: Oh for sure. Enough so that it’ll never happen again if any of them come up in the future. The key red flag I’ve mentioned elsewhere in this thread, is after the 2nd or 3rd time hanging out, she told her daughter “all about me”.. I only found out during the fallout later that she’d told her daughter that I may be her new stepdad, and also she told her that we were all going to be spending Christmas together. I know this because during the “bad week” she told me I ruined her child’s Christmas, and then had to explain what that meant when I obviously gave her a ???? face. waetherman: I had something similar happen. Dated a girl like two or three times, and could tell she was super clingy from the get. She told me that she was so excited to tell her parents about me. I called it off, she got nasty. This was before dick-pics were a thing, but she did end up mailing me a dead fish. I_P_L: The post office didn't question the foul smelling package? waetherman: All I know is that they delivered it. And it smelled terrible. There was a website back in the day where you could place an order for that. It’s possible those sites even exist to this day. How it’s even legal, I’m not sure.

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Successful-Hour1258: TIFU by purchasing airplane tickets to the wrong city [removed] Blue_Osiris1: 12?! Successful-Hour1258: Fuck 12 buy my mixtape chardar4: Yeah I think that’s what everybody’s worried about Bridledbronco: Sounds like this mixtape is going to get people a spot in prison.

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[deleted]: TIFU by asking for help opening a jar of jalapeños [removed] ppw23: Sprinkle baking soda and Borax on the mattress tomorrow. Brush it into the pad, vacuum and repeat. Perfume isn’t a good choice. After using the baking soda mixture, use original blue Dawn and hot, hot water. Scrub well, use a fan directed on the wet spot. Once dry, see how it smells. If you still smell the juice, use the BS/borax again it should absorb most of the odor by that stage. If not buy cheap vodka, use a spray bottle to spritz the pad and again use a fan to dry the mattress. It probably sounds like a hassle, but mattresses aren’t cheap. It’s not a bad process, I’ve done it and it worked for me. Good luck. CatFoibles: Thank you!!! As you can tell already, I don't normally make good choices lol. ppw23: Lol, nah, we’ve all done similar.

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[deleted]: Tifu by looking into my gf synced contacts on her computer. [deleted] Silly-Cloud-3114: I don't think you FU by seeing the contact. But one thing is unclear from your story - was she assaulted by the guy or did she cheat willingly? If you asked her why he's in the top list what would she say? The thing is if you have to keep her in check all the time, she's probably not serious about the relationship you guys have. You should find someone worthy of your time. aussie_nub: Yeah, I find it odd that she said she cheated and then it's assaulted, but she keeps his contact details? I understand that actions from victims can be a bit chaotic at times but it doesn't make sense to me. Sea_Calligrapher_986: Yeah I would have them blocked wtf

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[deleted]: TIFU By taking a prank too far [deleted] jnelparty: Careful, you don't want her family to find out and cut your head off. pkertb: I faced flak from friends and family when they found out how religious her family was/is. Honor killing would honestly would have been within they're wheelhouse.

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[deleted]: TIFU by trying to clean my boyfriend’s comb [deleted] PMMeIfYouAre_Bored: Ermm what's the fuckup here? DudeitsAgame: She didn’t eat the hairy mold

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[deleted]: TIFU by telling a friend about some dick pics. [deleted] MyDadBod_2021: >I think it's best if I just let her reach out if she wants.  This. You blocked him and did what you did (which I agree with). Just let it go. It's in the wife's hands GamerGrunt: I doubt 'it' is going to be in her hands anymore.

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[deleted]: TIFU by sexting a stranger from chat [deleted] Evilsushione: Report them to the police, that is illegal. CBGN4RLYY: Dudes on Omegle probably using a VPN. Cops are gonna get your statement and when you leave throw it in the trash. They can’t do anything about it. Evilsushione: FBI

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Immediate_Bee7022: TIFU by throwing up I (F18) and my bf(M19) have been dating for around 8months 5 of those we have been in an physical relationship, before we got together he thought he was gay he now identifies as bisexual with a preference for men, I am also bisexual and prefer men. Now here’s where I fucked up, a few months ago he said he wanted to explore men I ended up throwing up from working myself up over him breaking up with me. Although I don’t do well with polyamory we said it could be possible but didn’t talk about it again. Until last night we were on the phone and he brought it up again I once again got worked up and worried and threw up, he now thinks I’m disgusted with him I’m really not and I even laid out some ground rules if he was to explore polyamory. I just don’t know what to do I don’t want to loose him and I love him more than anything. Update: We decided to end things after a very long conversation we are both very torn up about it but it needed to happen I still love him so much so no one hate on him, just thought I’d give you the update. TL;DR jakkiljr: >he now identifies as bisexual with a preference for men, = gay. Immediate_Bee7022: I’m bi w a pref for men doesn’t make me straight I used to identify as lesbian doesn’t make me lesbian just because he realised something about himself doesn’t mean it’s not who he is AliasFaux: Dude, he's gay. Immediate_Bee7022: He definitely likes women AliasFaux: I'm sure, but he prefers men, and that means you will never be enough for him. It's not going to work and it's not your fault because you're not what he really wants. You didn't fuck up by throwing up you didn't fuck up at all. The only way that you would fuck up is to drag out the pain after you know it's not going to end well. BuiltDif-Depressed: This comment is so unnecessarily rude and incorrect. You need to consider the ages stated, they are very young and trying to figure themselves out. Just because he prefers one thing doesn’t mean the other “isn’t good enough” he wouldn’t be with OP if he was 100% gay.

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Suka_Blyad_: TIFU by making some random guy outside Home Depot think I’m going to off myself TLDR: I bought a 10 foot long dryer vent and was sizing it up outside Home Depot where I bought it to make sure it would fit my trucks exhaust, which admittedly without context could easily looks like I’m gonna go home, plug it in my exhaust, feed it through my window and y’know, some older gentleman seen me doing this and the looks of absolute terror on his face was like nothing I’d ever seen, I explained the situation and we had a laugh about it though and I thanked him for his concern So this wasn’t actually today it was a few months back in the fall but I was telling a buddy of mine this story and he said I should post it here So for context I had a nasty wasp/hornet infestation in my shed, it was only one nest but you couldn’t even open the shed door without being swarmed and I needed my lawnmower to cut my grass Since I couldn’t see where the nest was or get close enough to spray it without being viciously attacked and I really didn’t want to call and pay somebody to do it me and my moms boyfriend came up with the idea to simply smoke them out then spray the nest once the coast was clear, which is exactly what I did and it worked perfectly As mentioned we decided the best way to do this was to buy a dryer vent that would fit my trucks exhaust, back up to the shed, slide the vent over my exhaust and the other side into the shed, I’d still have to crack the door a bit but i figured if I was careful I’d get away without a sting and I did Once all that was done just sit and wait while occasionally revving my truck a bit, then move in for the kill once I was sure they were smoked out, once the nest was sprayed just let the shed air out and problem solved All in all it worked perfectly but after I bought the vent I wanted to make sure it would fit my truck even though I measured and was pretty confident, so I nonchalantly walk to my exhaust and am sizing up the vent to the pipe, I look up and a few parking spots over there’s an older man looking at me with absolute horror, he then starts approaching me asking what the hell im doing, saying you don’t have to do this and just sit down and we can talk about whatever’s bothering me The thought never even crossed my mind that this is actually a way people kill themselves until he started talking, I felt so bad I made him panic like that, I explained the situation and showed him texts between me and my moms boyfriend just to reassure him this isn’t what it looks like, we had a good laugh and I was very thankful for his concern and made that clear then we went our separate ways But I can’t stress enough I have never seen a look of horror like that on someone’s face before I felt awful alpineschwartz: "oh it's not for me, it's for the trespassers in my shed!" Suka_Blyad_: Gotta deal with them squatters somehow y’know MrTHEPug: "if it's one thing I can't stand, it's being cramped by squatters"

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whitebIoodredsnow: TIFU by staying awake for about 30 hours Long story short I fucked up by having to work a morning shift, run errands in the afternoon, watch a concert in the evening and then work an overnight shift all in the same wake cycle. Around 24 hours in I started to feel almost drunk, as in very slow cognitively and time felt different and much slower. During the overnight shift, 5 minutes started to feel like 30. I would also start to zone out and it felt like static objects were moving in my peripheral vision when they very obviously weren’t. When I finally got home and went to sleep I had some of the weirdest, most terrifying dreams I’ve ever had. I remember waking up a handful of times in a sleep deprived stupor and I felt like I was legitimately hallucinating. The next time I woke up I felt normal but it’s a lesson learned for sure. TL;DR — Just go to bed, dude. Lord_Jefe: I have insomnia as well as in constant pain due to spinal issues- So I can be up for 2 or 3 days without a wink of sleep. I generally tell anybody who asks that everything past 36 hours is usually “Here there be Dragons Territory” Depending on how you’ve been sleeping in the few days before & what you are doing that day pushes that timer forward or back. The other day I was talking to a friend of mine, until I woke up realized I was on the toilet & also realized I was talking to a friend who died about 25 years ago. SargeInCharge: I was awake for ~80 hours once... I literally heard (a nonexistant) someone shout my name several times, shadows jumped out at me, then I started talking jibberish and crazy nonsense. I slept for 20 hours after I could finally fall asleep RedditoraDeGuatemala: why were you up for so long? if you don't mind me asking Edraitheru14: I had a similar experience after being awake ~80 hours. Heard children laughing(I lived in the woods in bum fuck nowhere), what I assumed was a tv on in the other room but it was off, kept panicking that I'd never sleep again, etc. it was terrifying. I did it because I was on 2nd shift and took a project working modified 3rd shift(3am-11am). Couldn't sleep the first night and when I got off 11am I was wide awake still. Got tired by around 10-11, I'd been oversleeping lately and had been up 30+ hours I knew I'd oversleep so I stayed up. Rinse and repeat. By the time that third day rolled around and I got off at 11 and got home it still took me several hours to fall asleep because I couldn't stop panicking about not ever sleeping again. It was horrible. Do not recommend. Lord_Jefe: Did you get the headache too? It feels like a tiny man with a jackhammer is breaking up chunks of grey matter. User_Of_Named_Users: I know the feeling man. I can’t look at light either it’s weird

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J_cracka: tifu by calling the fire truck over a thermometer Called the fire truck over a thermometer Not today but years ago when I was a kid I had a fish tank. I had a old aquarium thermometer laying around that I wanted to use. So I was rinsing it of not relising there was a crack in the glass. While rinsing a combination of that crack and sudden temp change to the glass ( I was rinsing it with cold water) the thing blew up in my hand. This of course scared me and all the little beads fell out everywhere. Me thinking these were mercury beads because ofc mercury is associated with a thermometer. so I immediately thought that. I then opened the window all the way for the "fumes" and tried to clean it while wearing socks on my hands because I didn't have gloves. After I got some of it up I went on the computer and looked what to do which it said it needs to be cleaned by someone "trained" so i called the fire truck and they came. They went and looked at it and it was determined that those "mercury balls" were just stainless steel and the liquid itself was dyed alcohol. Turns out they stopped selling mercury thermometers way back. Just wanted to tell that story cause I always feel like a dumb ass when ever I think about it. (Btw I was home alone when this went down and I was 9 or 10) TL;DR thought a thermometer was filled with mercury when it broke in my hand and called the fire truck Born4thJuly: Similar. Except I dunked it into the tank's cold water then rinsed it in hot water to get the bubble to the top but it exploded in my hands. It was red. I just threw it away. I was way younger maybe 4 or 5. Or maybe the other way around I don't remember but I do remember hiding the evidence 😂 oh and I used to prank call the operator all the time and they'd always call back so i decided to leave the phone on the hook for this one - no way was I ratting myself out with blood on my hands. J_cracka: Lol when I was looking up what to do mercury poisoning came up and I for sure thought I had it lmao

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Starving_orphans11: TIFU by investigating a sound in the McDonald’s bathroom This odd memory occurred roughly 4-5 years ago when I was still in high school. At the time, I 15-16M was with a small group of friends. We were all sophomores and had just started to explore the world of marijuana. It’s a Friday or Saturday night in the summer and like any other degenerates at the time we figured, what better way to spend the evening than smoking a little Mary J and walking around town? After our little sesh, around 8PM ish, the munchies set in, so we figured we’d make our way to McDonald’s to hangout and grab some food. Once we got there we ordered and sat down at a booth This is where the fuck up starts- When we sit down it’s pretty obvious that other than an older couple seated nearby (think mid 60’s early 70’s) we are the only people in the McDonald’s, and we are acting like very high children While waiting for our food, I realize I need to pee so I head to the bathroom. I go in and head to a urinal which conveniently had a bit of a partition wall giving a bit of extra privacy between the urinal and stall portions of the mens room. While I’m peeing I start to hear the weirdest sound and at first I wasn’t able to even tell if I was just high, or actually hearing something/someone else In the bathroom with me. My curiosity gets the best of me and I peek my head around the mini partition wall only to lock eyes with a man (easily in his 30’s or 40’s), presumably with down syndrome, masturbating with the stall door wide open. He was really going at it and when I caught him he got scared and started screaming. I ran out, also extremely scared and very high, and unfortunately, told my friends loudly that “ a R******* was jerking off in the bathroom” Well, as soon as I said that the only other people in the McDonald’s- the old couple - immediately burst into tears and run into the bathroom to take care of who I can only presume to be their adult son. I know that it was completely wrong for me to have used those words, despite me being quite shaken up by what I walked in. But man, the way that the mom reacted to what I said has stuck with me forever, just a look of sheer terror and exhaustion. TL;DR Walked in on an adult Down Syndrome man masturbating in McDonald’s bathroom and caused family chaos by sharing my experience to my high friends in a derogatory manor :( Edit: just to clarify a few things 1) I was in no means traumatized by this event, I was already joking about it later the same night with my friends and after the initial shock I understood that the guy was mentally handicapped and I’d never hold it against him 2) Seeing his parents reactions to what I said affected me much more than the incident itself. I really was only a kid at the time, but the instant switch from calm to panic in their eyes definitely taught me a lot about how my words affect others and also made me respect how much parents of disabled children do exponentially more mynameisalso: It must be exhausting having an adult child with the mental faculties of a child. And they will never get a break. jakkiljr: Its a life of shear, unmitigated hell Camelbeard: This is why I don't understand people that do not test for this. It's going to be terrible to terminate a pregnancy, but the alternative is even worse. Edit i'd like to be clear I'm talking about now, why people don't test for it now (not 40 years ago). MrsEmilyN: I had testing when I was pregnant (2011) and the tests came back fine. I also had an amniocentesis. My son was born with Spina Bifida. While tests are probably better now, they still weren't great, even in 2011. Tiny_Rat: Spina bifida isn't genetic, though, so genetic testing will never show it. MrsEmilyN: Right, but I had a AFP test, which came back with no abnormalities. tetranordeh: Quick Google search shows that AFP tests are about 80% accurate. MrsEmilyN: Ok. That's 20% for inaccuracy. I guess I was one of the lucky 20%. He was also a female for 2 weeks, until I had a higher level ultrasound. I also had an amniocentesis and 2 fetal MRIs. At the time this all was happening they couldn't find his cerebellum, then found it, but it was misshapen. His fetal MRI specifically said that he had a Chiari II malformation, most commonly found in those with Spina Bifida. I was seeing Maternal Fetal Specialists at a fairly high-ranked hospital at the time, which never bothered to look more into things. Like you said, my testing had a 80% accuracy rate, and what I'm trying to say is, at least until 2011 and prior, testing wasn't always accurate. I'm not disagreeing with you, but I'm not sure why I'm being argued with. tetranordeh: Telling you a fact isn't arguing with you. MrsEmilyN: You're right. I'm not great with words. However, I'm not sure of the point you're trying to prove? I'm saying the same thing in a different way. While I don't know the statistics of testing, what I was trying to convey in my first comment, was that testing isn't always accurate. At my 20 week exam, I had the full panel of blood tests that was offered, to be prepared for my unborn child, one of which was a AFP test. Everything came back clear for abnormalities. I had more testing done, because on a regular ultrasound, they couldn't see part of his brain. The only thing they found was that his cerebellum was misshapen. The radiologist called it a Chiari Malformation, the doctor called it Cerebellar Hypoplasia. He also had a panel of tests at birth, 7 years later he had genetic testing that showed he has a biotin deficiency. Again, like you said, testing isn't always accurate. tetranordeh: Why assume that I'm trying to argue or prove a point that's different than yours? I'm simply saying that AFP tests are 80% accurate. That same Google search also said that because AFP tests have fairly high inaccuracy rates, the best methods for detecting spina bifida are still ultrasound/MRI. I'm just providing info. It sucks that the AFP test was inaccurate for you. You don't need to defend your experience, because I'm not questioning it. I'm sure it was an extremely difficult time for you.

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throwaway9274899: TIFU by not telling my crush sooner what my feelings were I, (M19) and my crush (M21) who we will call J, have been friends for half a year exact. I’ve had feeling for him for around three weeks now but recently he met someone we’ll call R. He has been boosting on and on about how he had caught feelings for them. They’ve known each other for around two weeks. I’m friends with R since J wants me to be. As i got closer with R they started saying stuff about having a crush. Since I’m naturally in everyones business I pestered them to tell me. Little did I know that both J and R had oblivious crushes on each other. I felt devastated as I realized my position in their relationship. J only saw me as a friend and R was blinded by love for J. I started to sink back into depression once again since I was just now healing. The urge to hurt myself became unbearable. J nagged me to tell me who R liked. Ive known J for so long it hurts me not to keep stuff from him. I ended up telling him who R has been crushing on and now they are dating. I regret telling him who their crush was. Edit: I’m trying to move on and currently being supportive to their relationship. TL;DR Ive known my crush for a year and they ended up getting together with someone else because i didn’t confess sooner. TheGuyWhoHasAsked: https://preview.redd.it/v441w1le04ba1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=c1bb54dbc5d3fb8c3f51da13b39a1eb1596360ad I'm sorry that happened here's a cat to cheer you up :D TheGuyWhoHasAsked: https://preview.redd.it/ln2wzesg04ba1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=42e4511840e9e1fcb4386b38c40485022e6112f7 TheGuyWhoHasAsked: https://preview.redd.it/wc86epyk04ba1.jpeg?width=2448&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=11cdbb64008d20823758a53f1bc675d88dc82e57 Maleficent_Gap_6855: https://preview.redd.it/aw6phawk76ba1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=f7da229ae6b3e257ad3d8a818ae63893a1c386fe Maleficent_Gap_6855: https://preview.redd.it/z688jwjm76ba1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=116b241b2337a19012fd3f9b1490f7b17fd712fa Maleficent_Gap_6855: https://preview.redd.it/p639vtmn76ba1.jpeg?width=2316&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=aef226dad69029df18675019ea9bdba26006dc53

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PiergiorgioSigaretti: TIFU by joking too much about suicide Basically I (15M) joke about everything. Literally everything. Today at school I told a couple of jokes about suicide (one was: *talking about tattoos* me: “do you know the dashed line with the scissors on it that you found in elementary school? I wanna get a tatto like that on the veins”. The other was: prof:”come on guys, we’re almost over” me:*whispering* “I wish I was over”). I joked so much about it that the classmate with which I share the desk with (15F) told me: “Do you want that I call a therapist for you? You joke a lot about suicide, it’s worrying. Are you ok?”. I told her: “don’t worry, I’m ok. They’re just jokes”. After that I said some other jokes and it’s all ok I think. TL,DR: joked so much about suicide I made a classmate worry AleshiniaLivesStill: Stop joking about suicide, teenage edgelord. PiergiorgioSigaretti: Haven’t we all gone through an “edgelord phase”? AleshiniaLivesStill: Suicide is not funny. PiergiorgioSigaretti: Never said it was. To remove the taboo from such things we have to make them seem not as something you shouldn’t talk about in any way, we should make it acceptable for people to talk about it openly AleshiniaLivesStill: Oh ffs. PiergiorgioSigaretti: Are you actually expecting some sense coming out of a 15 years old? We are dumb and wouldn’t be able to say something sensate without reading it ElectroStaticSpeaker: There are plenty of 15yos that have some sense. Clearly you're not one of those. PiergiorgioSigaretti: Which is why I’m saying this things ElectroStaticSpeaker: I mean maybe do the world a favor and just stop talking then until you've gained some more sense? PiergiorgioSigaretti: I’ll be dead by then. Since when I think too much I get scared of my own thought since they’re inevitable I just prefer not to think

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MilkLazy7144: Tifu: my life is coming undone. Last Tuesday morning I got up to go for a run around 430 in the morning. I woke up just thinking about having sex. Whether if it was from my wife or someone else. Which that thought never crossed my mind. I thought I was happy in my marriage and with our life. Anyways after i got home from my run i took a shower and got ready for work. I started looking for someone to have sex with. My wife woke up and seen me off to work. I kissed her and told her I loved her and left to work. But the thought of sex was still on my mind. So i found someone near my work and i decided to go for it on my lunch break. When i showed up and she started to go down on me I had a epiphany. That’s not who i was or who i wanted to be. So i left. I threw up on my way back to work. I felt like shit and was ashamed of myself. Yet I didn’t confess to my wife of what I did. Today we were cleaning up the house and what not. I was getting ready to change my sons turtles water out when my wife came to me with my phone. And showed me the text messages with the other woman. I just said i was sorry and she told me to leave. So I did. She’s been crying and is furious with me. My daughter had a look of disgust when i was walking out the door. My mother has so much distain for me for what i did. I’m not looking for sympathy from anyone. I fucked up and ruined my marriage and family. I just hope someone else sees this and doesn’t make the same mistake as me. I’m sitting in my work truck right now because i have no where to go. Please whoever needs to hear this. Cherish your family and wife. Never let a moment of weakness take over your mind. TL;DR: my wife is talking to me a little, she is not sure what she wants to do yet. I don’t blame her, I would probably feel the same way as her. My daughter is heart broken over this and I know it’s my fault. I just hope I can save my marriage. snorkleface: I'm not sure you know what TL;DR means. keenjt: Too lazy didn't/don't read. TLDR snorkleface: Too long*, didn't read. You're supposed to sum up your story in that section. OP just continued their story.

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Singaya: TIFU by comically stupid misuse of designer drugs So by way of foreshadowing, I have this recurring dream where I drop acid and suddenly realize I have to be somewhere and can't get out of it. I spit out the tab but have no idea how much was already absorbed, it's a relief to wake up not on acid. So I'm drinking, watching videos, and happen across two tabs of AL-LAD, an old favorite that I thought was all gone. How much to take? I'd smoked some psilocybin analogue the night before, tough to know. Did one tab, nice but didn't cut it. 90 minutes later did the other tab but the law of diminishing returns was setting in fast. Unless . . . Smoking psilocybin powder is wasteful and unpredictable but it hits very fast, worth a try I thought. So I emptied the baggie into my pipe and took a solid hit, . . . next thing I know I'm gagging and sputtering; WTF happened?! I'd dislodged the screen and sucked a huge pile of ash and god knows how much 4-AcO-DMT right into my mouth. By the time I realized the gravity of the situation it was too late. Managed to spit out some of it but this time it wasn't a dream . . . reality was gone and the benzo I keep for emergencies was lost in a sea of hallucinations. But, that's the beauty of psychedelics, eventually I peaked out and it was awesome. Woke up feeling fine, but that could've been very, very bad. TL;DR unintentional heroic dose of hallucinogenics. TiltedWombat: What is a "designer drug" ? Crack by prada? Is Victoria's secret a meth pipe? Does Louis Vuitton make dime bags now? ThrowRATraumatized: Designer drugs are synthetic drugs grown in a lab. They’re usually cheaper and more potent than regular drugs like weed (or in this case DMT), but are less reliable and are generally deemed more dangerous than their counterparts. Fun-Pea-880: Due to the chemicals used, they can be more of a grey market drug that isn't illegal or tested for in some cases.

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SkeletalBabe: TIFU by driving into my sisters car and planning to stay silent. TIFU by driving into my sisters car and planning to stay silent. So this literally just happened, and I don't know what to do. I 17f is learning how to drive so I can get my licence in 3 months when I turn 18. Just for clarity I know how to drive and I've been doing so around my neighbourhood comfortably with my dad in the drivers seat. Today he decided that I was ready to learn how to park the car (the garage is big enough for two cars so my 22f sisters is on the right). Everything was going okay until for some reason I panicked and stepped on the gas a little too hard and I hit the brakes just in time so I only left a few scratches but they're noticeable. My dad says I should keep quiet until she brings it up. She went out with my mom and they're not back yet. Do I keep this to myself or tell her either way I'm scared. Edit/Update: When my sister came home told my dad that I was going to say something. He told me that I should leave it alone for some reason but i told her anyway she was angry but not at me she said I was just learning so it's okay (She was mad about the scratches). I told my sister that my dad didn't want me to say anything and she said she was glad I said something in the end because she would have been mad if I kept if from her. TL;DR I was learning how to park my car for the first time and I scratched my sisters car. I don't know if I should tell her or not. -holdmyhand: >My dad says I should keep quiet until she brings it up. This is wrong. In fact your Dad must be the one to bring it up to your sister and explain everything. It seems your Dad is washing his hands off you. Don't stain your sister relationship, tell her & be honest. Trust issue happens when a person lie and someday your truth becomes questionable. Voidmire: OR the father is intending to take the heat for it. Why must we always jump to the worst outcome? FindorKotor93: Because then you'd say "I'll explain everything to your sister, don't worry." We have to because your kind will never accept accountability. You are transparent. But maybe I'm wrong. What good reason can you think of for the deception itself? Voidmire: Well, I'd say exactly that reason would be a good one. The post is missing a lot of context, like did the dad leave it at that or did he say anything else about what he intended to do? There's a lot of assumption going off very little information. I'm not entirely sure what on earth "your kind" is supposed to mean though. FindorKotor93: What reason? The one I just explained made no sense. Try again Narc. :) And what you mean is the dad didn't say anything you can twist to your advantage so you're inventing possibilities that you have no reason to assume were said. Details you manufacture are not reasons. You and the dad. :) Accountaphobes if you will. Voidmire: See now im rather confused. My initial comment suggested he might be intending to take the blame instead of the daughter. Isn't that quite literally taking accountability for the situation? The following comment suggesting we need more information than what's given. So as far as I can tell you are the one making up details. Idk where the rest is coming from, randomly making accusations of narcissism and accountaphobe based on.... What, my wanting to believe there's a positive reason involved instead of jumping to conclusions on slim evidence? I can't tell if you're projecting or if this is abpoorly planned bait

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RetroRedditor: TIFU Telling a friend I need space because I still have feelings for her I (26M) have been seeing a close friend (26F) for the past few months and hanging out together. Last month, I told her I had feelings for her and asked her out on a date. She said it needs more time and she sees me as a friend right now, but we agreed to meet again in a month. Fast forward to today, I took her out again and we had a good time. But ultimately, I decided to message her later that it's really hard for me to be the same type of friend with her that I have been, and that my feelings are difficult to separate from our friendship right now and I need some space. She made a little joke asking if the food we got was that bad, and then told me no problem, she understands. I feel like I fucked up, but I felt like I had to make a choice. What makes me feel worse is that I did this to her after she gave me a gift for my birthday earlier on the same day. We've been close friends for 4 years now, and we always texted/talked to each other every day until now. We would often be able to read each other's minds, and say/think the same exact thing constantly. I care about her a lot and I don't want to hurt her, but I also can't hide how I feel and torture myself. When I dropped her off, I asked when we could meet again, she said probably the end of next month because she's seeing a friend in 2 weeks and working other weekends. I respect her and her feelings, but I couldn't help to think of how 2 weeks is Valentine's Day weekend.. Even if her friend is a another girl or a guy. I also didn't feel I wanted to wait another month to see her again TL;DR: I told my closest friend I wanted to date her, but I was soft rejected. I tried to hang out with her as a friend again, but I couldn't shake my feelings. I ultimately told her after we met that I needed space, and I tried to say it in the most sincere way without hurting her (no ultimatum or anything. Just that I need time and it's hard to see her as only my friend). I miss her very much, and I don't want to hurt her. I feel like I fucked up because we had such a close connection with each other, but I felt I had no choice. I don't know how long it will be before I can talk to her again, which is what hurts me the most Kavkaz87: You did the right thing, in my opinion, you said what you had to, its out in the universe now and it just didn't work out. I believe it's called Unrequited love. The universe will come back around and you will find someone who genuinely will like you back. Good luck brother and be strong. I hope this helps. RetroRedditor: Thanks man. I will take things day by day. Would you have any advice on how I can really get her out of my mind? She was such a big part of my life. I'm staying strong, but it's really hard to not say good morning to each other anymore. We used to talk all throughout the day sustainabledude: It takes time. However, to make the time fly by it's helpful to be busy with something. Can be a hobby, education or work. Just make sure you haven't got much time to daydream, as that will undoubtly revolve around her. But ultimately time will do the job. Kavkaz87: 💯

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shanishere1: TIFU by siding with me fiancée to tell her colleague to end his toxic relationship The classic this wasn't today but I learnt of the result of it yesterday. Context I (M26) and fiancée (F24) we will call L, have been together for almost 10 years and we recently bought a house and puppy together. Her colleague (M23) we'll call D has only been working with her for almost a year. So this starts in a couple months ago. As D had started working with L they became close as friends outside of work. D was in a very toxic relationship with his GF consistently belittling him and getting D to drive her everywhere she wanted. L had told me of his relationship and my first thought was for D to end it with her. Which D did eventually do after a lot of persuasion form myself and L. So towards the end of November L asked for some space I obliged by sleeping in a different bedroom giving her a couple days to think things over. I then got L some flowers and a maccies breakfast (One of her favourite things to get) one morning to show her my affection, for L to open up and to tell me she had fallen for D. We talked it over and she agreed she would stop talking to D and I could forgive her as I have liked other people in the past and we have worked it out. Into December L became more and more distant with me spending less and less time at home, always saying she was going to see her girl friends (I realise I should have seen this coming, but I had no reason not to trust her). over the week of Christmas week and our birthdays (mine 30/12 and hers 01/01) both our mothers asked us individually if something was wrong between us and we had both said no. Then into January L asked me to talk one evening, but I said it was late and I had just finished work so we could talk in the morning. I didn't really sleep knowing something was wrong so in the early hours of the morning I checked the messages between L and D (I know invasion of privacy but we agreed a long time ago that we had nothing to hide and share the same phone passcode), only to find they had been seeing each other in secret and had been sleeping together for some time, most recently on my birthday. Some messages expressed how much they had enjoyed it and that L was going to end thing with me to be with D. So now I'm heart broken and am still living with L (again in the other bedroom) till we can find other places to live. L has since told me that she won't get with D as she does not want to hurt me anymore than she has, but I can't the messages out of my head and have lost all trust in her, so I don't believe it one bit. TLDR - I told my fiancée that her colleague should end his toxic relationship, for her to have sex with him on me on my birthday. Devittraisedto2: Would you really trust your partner if she's doing something in secret even though she said she'd stop? For your sake, just break it off because she's not going to stop anytime soon. shanishere1: From past experience when i liked someone else and she put a stop to it, i had stopped so i naivley believed she would as i had. Devittraisedto2: Turns out she has double standards. It sucks but she's already deceived you by hiding the secret relationship, and I don't think she's going to confess to you that she's been seeing D. shanishere1: Yeah thats why i realise now i should have realised earlier.

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Colinian18: TIFU by buying too much crypto Disclaimer: This actually happened a few days ago. I recently got into crypto and have gotten a little ambitious. Well, I put most of my paycheck into the markets, had a few bills go through and my account went into the negative. I figured it would sort itself out as I get paid weekly and I didn't want to sell any coin or anything. Well, It hasn't been a week yet and I have already made a fool out of myself again. I went to a new barber and he only took cash. No debit, no credit, only cash. So, I had to rush and pull the cash out getting hit with a fee at the atm, and again at the gas station. Lesson learned. Keep cash on hand. I won't be making that mistake again (hopefully) and plan to put, and keep, a little more in the account for safety. 10 or 20 is cutting it close, 40 or 50 would probably be better. (Don't laugh, I'm broke af) ​ TL;DR - Put all my money into the crypto market to squeeze that extra little bit of profit. Ended up getting hit with an overdraft fee, and two ATM fees instead. ForgetTheWords: Why would you get into crypto now, when it's been on a downswing for a while? lcbomber: You answered your own question. Markets go up and down, best time to sell is when it’s high, best to buy is when it’s low. A.k.a. now. deco19: No, the scam is up. Government crackdown on this medium for psychopathic conmen to extract money off people who don't know better is on. The last pillars holding this scam up are under criminal investigation. It's only a matter of time in this evil manipulated market. Do not take financial advice from this NFT flashing gambling addict. Chasethemac: Who hurt you lol deco19: No one. I hate scammers. Seems like a normal thing to hate, no? Chasethemac: The government is the biggest scammer I'm aware of. deco19: Ah yes, let's replace government with psychopaths that have unfettered control and access to the most lucrative scams with little effort to have ever existed. Even if government was what you say it is, it is nothing in comparison to the widespread daily rug pull of someone's life savings in useless crypto coins. You have to be delusional to believe otherwise. Chasethemac: Squidcoin get you did it? deco19: What jibberish is this. There is no "value" in crypto. The perceived "rush to value" over things like Bitcoin is a desperate last attempt after other crypto was revealed to be a full blown scam. Chasethemac: Bitcoin working as intended for over a decade has nothing to do with its "value", I'm sure. deco19: "working as intended" yeh... I mean it's totally failed as a currency, store of value, etc. Attempts in large scale to adopt it failed. It is technically hindered by a terrible transaction speed. The goalposts just keep moving with people like you. Chasethemac: You're just speaking so many opinions you've heard and projecting them onto me while emotionally shitting yourself over here. Bitcoin, the network, has been running as intended for a decade. What you don't like is human nature and technological progress. I'm sure in our short time as a civilization, we nailed it. The global monetary system couldn't possibly be improved. The internet is just a fad. deco19: Ah yes verifiable on chain stuff, "working as intended", is an opinion. Lol. Human nature is the inevitability to nullify any supposed pros like decentralisation, lack of manipulation, etc. Technological advancement is what I'm primarily invested in, and blockchain ain't it. If I told you 40 years ago we could use immutable public databases to solve the same problems you'd call me insane, and rightly so. This is just that with extra steps. The global monetary system is being constantly iterated on. It's not perfect, but it sure as hell isn't being as manipulated for excessive greed as much as crypto or bitcoin has been. Tether is your life blood, full of scammers and backed by trash. What a sorry state to be in. Even sorrier considering you think your idea here is the answer. And there we go, the link to the internet. The internet was giving average people value however. Allowing them to send instant messages. Now your average person naively gets into crypto with promises of great riches, loses their hard wallet and recovery key and their life savings in the process. What a great innovation and something we clearly need right now. Lmao. Get help for gambling. Chasethemac: Working as intended is not an opinion. You think the crypto space has more scams and influence of greed than traditional finance markets. Get real. You've got it all figured out. Peak Brain. Congratulations.

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[deleted]: TIFU by being a terrible partner [deleted] Rainbow62993: Don't blame your mess up on "smoking marijuana and being in my head". You were just an AH 🤷‍♀️ leafsplz: I never said I wasn't but thanks for nitpicking

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stanlapeire: TIFU by lying abt the fact i have a gf Ight here we go, fyi, english isnt my motherlanguage Around the end of 2019, i did some volunteering work. Here, i saw some1, who looked like she´d be able to pull anyone. But hey, somehow, i was attracted. Here i made the mistake of making up a lie, i lied about having a relationship with her (i was 15 and a moron). As normal, i got caught a few weeks in, someone knew her and heard what i was saying. During my lying period, i never said i did bad things to her, i treated her with respect, apart from the fact that it was all a lie. Here is where i REALLY fucked up. My mates told me:" ey u were dumb shit happens yk" and we were kinda good. Me and the girl were also kinda on a good start again. Unfortunately, a few days later someone asked me about my relationship... and ofcourse is said something like ?:" good its going great". Yeah she didnt take that very well. Her actual bf texted me, saying i was a dipshit and all other stuff, and i was. I apologied, (way too late (Oct 2021))but she blocked me on mess, etc. and i actually have been living with some feeling of guilt ever since, ´cause i have the feeling we clicked, before... whole this. This week I saw a new acc on IG she made and i thought:hey can´t do anyhting wrong with a follow request and an apologie... right. She accepted the request and hasn´t read the apologie i sent her. But here´s the thing: since i messed up badly, i can´t deal with that guilt, and i need some way to cope with it? I also wanna do more to make it up to her, although its 3y ago. What do i do TL;DR: i lied about the fact I had a gf, got caught and wanna apologize DanontheMoon: Serves you right fuckface stanlapeire: Yeah, i know

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ughburner7: TIFU I called my dad a bad person Today is the one month anniversary of me telling my dad I'm a bad person. I'm a junior in high school. I like to keep up with current events and stay current. Lately I've been really interested in problems facing young people and one of the things I found is how big corporations are buying up houses and screwing young people out of buying some. I kind of went into a rabbit hole and found all these terrible stories of abuse and landlords taking advantage of people. The idea that someone would buy more houses then they need and then rent them out and screw over people seems so wrong to me. Well, my dad does that. He has a bunch of apartments and condos that he owns and rents out. I asked him about it recently and he explained to me how he bought them and how he rents it out. So I told him I thought exploiting people's need for housing for money makes you a bad person. My mom overheard me and instantly started yelling at me. As soon as I said it, I felt really bad. I could see my dad was really hurting. But he just smiled and said, I'm glad you're starting to show interest in the world and learn about things. When my brothers heard they told me I was being a bitch. My mom was mad at me. Well my dad sat me down a few days later and explained that he really appreciated me being passionate about something and having values. It's his job as a parent to support me in my beliefs. So he took away my car. He said we couldn't afford my car if it wasn't for the money from rent. My mom and dad have a car, my older brother used to drive my dad's old car, but he went to college and got a new one. My middle brother has that car now. When I turned 16, they bought me a car. It wasn't a new one, but still we didn't have it in the family before. So because I feel so strongly about rental income, he won't have me benefiting from it. I thought that'd be it, but it was just a start. We live on a lake, and we have a dock on it. Well, I can't go out on a lake in our boat, because we couldn't afford it on just their salary. They stopped buying the specific kind of chips I like. They said they're $6 and chips aren't essential food. They can't buy those chips every week just on their salary. Same for Haagen Dazs. My allowance is much less now. Every time they take something away, my dad explains this in this dad voice and says we can't afford this or that just on our salary. It comes from the rental money and he wants to support my values and avoid having me violate them by benefiting from rental income. I know they're just doing it to get me to say sorry and to say I was wrong. I still think it's wrong to have rental income but I didn't know most of the stuff we had was from rental income. My friends think I'm an idiot and my brothers think my dad should take more stuff away. Today marks a month. I wanted to apologize for like two weeks, but I don't want them to think I'm just doing it to get my stuff back. TL;DR - I called my dad a bad person because I was feeling strongly about owning more houses than you need wittiestphrase: I don’t think you fucked up here. If I were you I would consider this a lesson in nuance. Are there landlord that exploit people? Sure. But being a landlord does not make you by default a bad person who looks to exploit housing needs. People need housing. Not everyone can afford to buy a home. Not everyone can build a home. The market bears our demand for those things. If your father is someone you otherwise respect and believe to be a good person, it may be the case that those traits apply to how he works as a landlord. You could try talking to him and saying he was obviously offended and you’re sorry that you may have been overzealous in your approach because as you learned about it you felt it’s something that would impact you and your friends. You still feel that it’s an issue but that perhaps accusing him instead of asking questions was the wrong way to go. Maybe ask him to teach you about that business of his and to help you understand what an ethical landlord looks like. SweetCosmicPope: This exactly. I think you're taking the wrong lesson away with this. I'm reading this as you being regretful simply because you lost your privileges, not that you understand why you are wrong. My dad was a landlord, and I don't think of him as a bad person. Not everybody can or wants to own a home. Landlords fill that gap. They take on the investment of purchasing and maintaining a property, as well as the risk of lawsuits and the tax burden, and in turn a renter agrees to pay them for the privilege of living in that property. It's no different than you renting a car for the weekend. It's simply transactional. The problem, and the one you should be angry about, are outside investors (either big companies or richie riches) buying up masses of property or overdeveloping in order to manipulate the market rate for rentals in an area. If your father isn't involved in any of this, then you were out of line to give him shit for making his living. If he doesn't provide that housing, somebody else will. Maybe even one of those large investment firms who you should be angry about. You're only kidding yourself if you think people are going to ever get to live rent free until they make a home purchase.

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No-Ferret3239: TIFU by telling my friend's gf that he might of cheated on her [removed] Cibell: Reddit please remember there are teenagers using this website. These are kids who don’t know how to use punctuation. It’s should have man, there’s no such thing as ‘should of’. I’m seeing it more and more often :( SethMalcolm1: I am a teenager, and I can use punctuation much better then this guy. Cibell: *Than :( juicyjuicej13: He said punctuation, not spelling.* SethMalcolm1: This guy gets it. Cibell: Cope

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zubekakkin: TIFU by sending my pregnant wife to China In 2019 me and my wife started our green card process when we we about to have our first child. We had all of our paper work accepted and were interview approved in February of 2020. Then, came along Trump and his ban on immigration into the USA so we were dead in the water until he was gone. About a month after Biden became president we were given an interview date in May we couldn't make so had to pass on it thinking that it wouldn't be that hard to get a 30 minute interview at the Guangzhou consulate. Unfortunately, China's covid zero policy meant that the Guangzhou consulate was understaffed and everyone who could get out of China was trying to at the moment in time. So, in 2022 when all hell was breaking lose in Shanghai I took a job in Mexico thinking that it would be easier to get an interview in Mexico since there were no interviews in Guangzhou every time I checked for over a year at that point (they were doing like 2 a day, but getting them was almost impossible). So, in July, we went to the USA, and then to Mexico. The job in Mexico turned into an absolute quagmire and they screwed up my wife's and without that the consulate in Juarez wouldn't take us. The final nail in the coffin was when my student's poisoned me after I caught them cheating and we still weren't in the country legally. So, we headed back to the USA for a bit. My wife got pregnant on the way from China to the USA. We're both an older couple and waiting longer for the second child is not really the best option. So, while we were in Mexico the Guangzhou consulate opened up a bunch of appointments. So, we took one and my wife flew back to China in October thinking that if she stayed in the USA she could have potentially overstayed her tourist visa and been unable to get a green card later on. In a normal process they interview you and give you a green card that same day. unfortunately, my wife has a master's in computer science and thanks to Trump again. . .I hate him if you haven't figured that out. They have to "thoroughly vet" her. Which is a process where they don't tell you how long it will take, what will happen, or where her information is being sent. Under normal circumstances this means waiting a few months. In this case it's a bigger deal because she is pregnant and due at the end of March. In China, laws on giving birth are insane. Until a few years ago single women could not give birth and register the child as a citizen. If a single, pregnant woman showed up at a hospital they would just turn her away or make her get an abortion. For our first child to be born my wife needed my passport to register at the hospital months early. Now, I think she can register at the hospital. . . (I think. . . .) but I don't think she can get a birth certificate. In order to get a birth certificate the mother and father of the child have to be present at the hospital within 30 days of the child's birth. Without that birth certificate child number 2 can't become either Chinese or American thanks to the laws of both countries. Currently, I don't have a Chinese visa and I'm trying to get one, but the Chicago visa office for China hasn't gotten back to me. Things that complicate me going back to China are as follows: my mom is getting back surgery to prevent paralysis, my dad has Parkinson's and can't really take care of her on his own after the surgery, I have one child here with me, and I work full time. I teach Science Chemistry and if my wife is unable to get her green card then we will have no choice but to go to another country so that I will be educating foreign students in STEM subjects. My f=wife has a degree in computer science, but she is garbage at computers and only wants to run a small daycare here in the USA since she's actually really good with small children. She's super tiny and so little kids think she's like the adult who is one of them. Anyways, I could have kept my wife here in the USA until she gave birth and then had her go back to China to do the interview, but I f#$%ed up by thinking that going to China would be the best option to get the green card so we could be a family in the USA, but now my second child will be stateless. Some extra facts here. I have tried contacting all the consulates in China. They are completely ignoring my messages. I tried going through my representative and Senator. They got very generic responses from the consulate in December. I know the consulate screwed up initially, because we sent in the required documents they asked for on November 22nd and on December 5th I got an email from them asking for us to send in that paperwork even though I have a confirmation email from them when the item was received on November 22nd. TL;DR I sent my pregnant wife to China and now my future child might end up stateless. fatevilbuddah: Dude, you were IN Mexico. As an American citizen, you should have just walked across the border. If she's your wife, she gets a visa different than a tourist visa, and since when has anyone from Mexico needed a Visa? Just make sure you walk across at a place where the B.P. is right there, and a pregnant woman with an American citizen usually get a fast track hearing, and coming from China, you could claim asylum until your green card for marriage came through. It shouldn't be hard to verify your ID, and the American consulate in China should have no problem getting an American, which she would be, out of China. It's not like they're holding her hostage, it's red tape. The marriage and baby cut a lot of that red tape as it proves it's not a buy your way through mail order bride situation. Should be easy, just bureaucracy. because_of_ghosts: China will not extradite to the US, why do you think they would surrender a US citizen just because our government asked them to? fatevilbuddah: Is it worth an international incident with a superpower already getting ready to go to war with them over Taiwan? The politics will be easier to just let her go than to try and negotiate like Russia did with someone who broke the law? This administration is not terribly good at getting stuff done, but this is a much lower profile, fairly standard issue of passport control and visa issue. She won't have a social credit score unless she's been there for a while, and being married to an American would make her an undesirable rather than a bargaining tool. I would think it could be cleared up between 2 low level functionaries at desk jobs, especially as open as this administration has been towards China. I can feel the OPs helplessness and I agree, it's a fucked up situation, but not a hard fix, just a red tape one. The citizenship issue as far as becoming a dual Chinese citizen isn't a problem because China doesn't have dual citizens. The baby will be one or the other, and if Chinese law says the baby can't be Chinese then the American government will claim the baby because of its American Father. More paperwork. In the meanwhile, she can apply for asylum, as a married to citizen visa and passport, may even be able to take the citizenship test at the embassy and become naturalized which would make it a LOT harder for China to hold her. The media here would eat that up. In the end, it will come down to some forms, a lot of sweat on both parents behalf, and some paper pushers trying to get it done before it becomes a real paperwork nightmare. If there's 1 thing all people hate, it's paperwork, and the CCP has a LOT more than we do. Even if its only to save a tree they will get it done. The only REAL problem is if neither is American to begin with, in which case best bet is apply to the UN for a Nansen passport for stateless people. Most governments recognize that and will allow travel on them, and once out of China the process will be easier. brackenbu: You are joking right? You think it would be an international incident because they never flew a woman back to America? Get real. It happens all the time and if you think countries will be more forced to go to war because of one pregnant woman, you’re an idiot. There will be no negotiations, this isn’t something that goes straight to the presidents it’s something that will be handled by people working in the embassy. Ie in letters and phone calls. Not dealing with higher ups. She’s a Chinese citizen, just because she’s married to an American citizen doesn’t mean she immediately gets shipped to America. That’s a delusional image to portray. fatevilbuddah: My point exactly was that this wouldn't be an incident specifically because it's not worth it. Reread the post. It will be a paperwork issue, and the fact she's married to an American (if that's right) gives her American citizenship. There will be or usually is spot checks for a few years to make sure they actually are married, but otherwise for all intents and purposes, she SHOULD be American by marriage. Happens all the time with Europeans. Unless the rules are different in dealing with China, unless he's not a citizen, she shouldn't even need a green card. zubekakkin: I don't know if you guys understand. China is not holding her hostage. The USA is the ones who are not letting her come into the USA yet. fatevilbuddah: She was here and went back to not overstay her visa. Commendable for sure, but it seems the Chinese consulates are ghosting her. Sounds like they don't want her to come to America to me. Lord knows if you say something wrong over there, the party knows immediately, so how could they NOT know about a situation like this? Either it's political, or they really really want this baby to be stateless so that the US doesn't get another Chinese baby, and they don't have to offer the baby any of the "rights and privileges " afforded to the rest of china zubekakkin: It's the American consulate in China. fatevilbuddah: Read it wrong, my bad. I would say just go to the place physically though. If they have a legit case then they should be heard. Politics only goes so far.

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t3_10od89u

t5_2to41

Mericans4Merica: TIFU by experiencing overwhelming happiness This was last weekend, but the consequences only became clear yesterday. A little context before the actual incident. Two years ago I went through a breakup with someone I loved very much, who had been my friend for years before we started dating. The relationship ended with her telling me that I wasn’t strong enough to give her the support she needed, I wasn’t successful enough to be her long-term partner, and if we were together she would always wonder if she could have found someone better. Those words honestly fucked me up. I made a commitment that no one was ever going to throw me away for being weak or unsuccessful again. Over the last two years, I’ve pushed myself personally, physically, and professionally. I went to therapy and studied attachment theory to understand why I struggle in relationships. I went to the gym five days a week at 5am and gained 20 pounds of good weight. I changed jobs, earned promotions, and almost tripled my income. This has all been very rewarding, but also very lonely. I lost most of my close friends in the breakup, and I’m in my mid-thirties so making new friends is hard. I live alone, and basically grind everyday. Last year I finally decided to try dating again, so I got on the apps. It’s rough out there. A lot of false starts, ghosting, etc., until two months ago I really clicked with a girl. We’ve been seeing each other most weekends since. This brings me to the fuck up. Last weekend we were having one of those lazy, early-relationship-pillow-talk Sunday mornings. At one point I went to get up to make coffee, and while I was sitting on the edge of the bed she hugged me from behind and rested her cheek against my upper back. I am 6’ and 190 pounds, I am not used to being held like that, and I was not prepared. In that moment all the isolation and tension and effort of the last two years washed away, and I felt overwhelmingly safe and relaxed and at peace. In the most fundamental way, I wasn’t alone. It was such an intense feeling of relief that I started shaking and got tears in my eyes. She asked me what was wrong, and I told her I just hadn’t felt so happy in a long time. The rest of the morning seemed pretty normal, we made out for a while, had coffee, and she went home. On Monday I sent her a text to ask about plans for the following weekend. I didn’t hear back, which was unusual. On Wednesday I asked what was up, and she responded that work was super busy and she’d get back to me soon. Then yesterday I woke up to a super long text, explaining that she doesn’t see a future for us, it’s too much pressure being responsible for someone else’s happiness, and she needs to be with someone whose “cup is already full”. I texted back asking if we could talk, but that was left on read. I get where she’s coming from. It’s just so frustrating. I've made so much progress the last couple of years, but on some level I still crave that feeling of intimacy, and it seems like the only way to get it is to not need it. I tried to write a wise conclusion here but it’s all a jumble so I’ll just leave it at that. TL;DR - Had a moment of genuine vulnerability, got dumped. skunkadelic: Honestly, this sounds more like a her problem, not a you problem. She has now set up a situation where any time you express that she makes you happy, her mind will fall back to "I can't be responsible for someone else's happiness". You'll be wondering if and when you are allowed to express that she makes you happy and that doesn't sound very fun. You have to let it go and let her figure it out herself. Mericans4Merica: Yeah I'm definitely letting it go - I probably should have made it more clear in the first post but what she sent me yesterday was a breakup text, it had the "I wish you well" ending everyone seems to use these days. Doubt I'll see her again. skunkadelic: I went through the same things. Worked on myself, bounced around relationships, etc. I finally stopped caring so much about that part and that's when it all came together. I'm happily married with beautiful children now, and it makes all of the past worth it. You'll find someone that appreciates making you happy, as opposed to someone who thinks it's some kind of burden. Bigfops: This is closer to my thought. Yes, it is definitely a her problem, but it also seems like OP went through a lot to make himself into the image of something one person (granted, an important first love) feels she needs. It’s fantastic that he’s made these improvements, but it seems like to some degree they are a facade. The woman he attracted was attracted to those traits and fled when she saw his more vulnerable side. Not someone you want to be with long-term. You can’t always be a rock.

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Aggravating_Island37: TIFU by ignoring the random paranoia of having a kidney stone over the last week This is an actively ongoing TIFU. I'm not gonna be vulgar, but I will be frank about the human body be warned. To set the scene a little, I had my first and only other kidney stone about a decade back. Woke up that day and was just very unsure what was wrong with my body but knew I was in pain and had to but couldn't pee. After a few hours I went to the hospital, they did their thing and sent me home. For a long time I was much better about drinking water. I'd drink a little of cranberry juice (like the real stuff not cocktail) and even developed a bit of a taste for it. Time went on, and the pain and horror from that day faded from my mind. Its really the last 6 months or so that I've stopped drinking a glass of cranberry a day to appease my anxiety and vague fear. About a week ago, I started thinking about it again. Like the thought has crossed my mind 1-3 times a day. Not obsessive, just "wow it would really suck if that happened" in a weird remember-y way and moving on after I tell myself how much healthier my fluid intake is than it used to be. So I hope you can all appreciate this cruel cosmic joke with me, as I sit here waiting to pass a stone. I'm 99.5% sure it's a kidney stone even though things played out different today. I usually pee first thing when I wake up, and this morning I didn't have to. Went about my day until I was hit really hard with the urge to pee. Except I didn't have a lot, which I didn't think about as I reflexively flushed before I finished. Then things started to register, "wait that colors not right", and "okay that actually hurts" or "hold up is that blood?" "Fuck I've gotta pee again". That was about 20 minutes ago. I haven't been able to get more than a few drops at a time. Definitely have (a small amount of) blood coming out. My therapist is gonna hate it when I tell her my anxiety was right. I don't know why this is so funny to me but I think it's just how I'm coping. I really need to pee. Tl;Dr started having random anxious thoughts about getting a kidney stone at some point in the last few days. I ignored that fear, and now I'm trying to pass a stone. Idk what listening to that fear would have fixed but there's a weird irony to it I can't seem to get past. Send help Set_the_Mighty: A friend thought he had a kidney stone and it turned out to be a massive bladder infection that almost killed him. He kept trying to tough it out thinking it was a stone that would pass. Eventually a coworker of his forced him to go to the hospital. Be sure you have a stone and not an infection. Aggravating_Island37: Horrifying, thank you for that. I haven't ruled out hospital, just don't think I'm there yet. Having a hard time justifying what is sure to be 15k+ I can't afford. Hell I've been unemployed for 2 months and I'm supposed to start a job tomorrow. Hospital isn't ideal, but I'm not dumb enough to not go. Original_Profile8600: Go somewhere man, if Hospital isn’t in your budget go to urgent care or even your normal doctor. With a hospital you pay for convenience, a doctor shouldn’t be too expensive and hopefully he or she can tell you something that alleviates/rightfully raises your concerns

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[deleted]: TIFU by video sexting a stranger who recorded everything [deleted] OakeyDokie: I would delete my account and turn on strict privacy blocks on all my other social media or even just go full blackout and delete all social media. If he sees that he has no way to contact you to even request payment then why would he put in extra work to message everyone. It’s either that or you own it and if it happens it happens - say someone leaked a private convo with your girlfriend (no one needs to know you were sexting a scammer) Realistic_Nobody_884: I've already put on privacy controls on other social accounts so that the doesn't threaten me further. I've blocked his number on Whatsapp, but he just sends a message from another number with more terrifying threats. He has a least 3 numbers at this point and probably a lot more. I'm sure they're virtual numbers. And it's probably an organization he works for. One of my friends agrees and says to just own up to it. But damn, I'd rather pay for peace of mind and \*hope\* he does what he says and deletes the video. Middle_Barber3718: How much money are they asking for? Realistic_Nobody_884: Started at $5k and got him down to $1k, but he won't budge below that. terralynn98: Do NOT Pay!!! Report it to the authorities. If you're in the US, [Internet Crime Complaint Center(IC3) | File a Complaint](https://www.ic3.gov/Home/FileComplaint#) I'm sure other countries have similar ways to report. Send this person this link and most likely you'll never hear from them again. Something similar happened to my son last fall. luckily he knows I work in Cybersecurity for the US Gov and told me about it. Once he sent this link to the harasser, they DISAPPEARED! Accounts deleted and everything. So many people get scammed this way. In the future, just don't put yourself online in the nude...ever. Once it's out there, it NEVER goes away!

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sleepy-tired: TIFU by helping my dad transfer files to his laptop This happened today. My partner and I are temporarily living at my parents’ second home and they come and stay here at the weekends. Today I had some documents on my laptop that my dad wanted to see which were too large to send via email so I put them on a memory stick. Straight forward right? Well I gave it to him and he plugged the memory stick into his MacBook. After a few minutes he said “I can’t find the files” so I walked over and had a look. I’ve never really used macs so I asked “is there something called documents or computer?” So he opened up a documents folder. Then I saw it. It seems it showed whatever photo he had previously opened. Time stood still. My eyes burned. When he realised he turned the screen away and closed it but it was too late. Those couple of seconds felt like hours. We didn’t say anything. He just continued looking for the folder and it appeared after he removed and reinserted the usb. He sat there for another 10 mins on his laptop while I was cringing into oblivion. I sat elsewhere and pretended I saw nothing. But I didn’t. I am scarred for life. Traumatised. It was a photo I hope he took to send to a doctor. Nobody would want to see that. It was a photo of an area of a man’s body and he’s straight so I can only assume it was himself. Thank fuck it’s Sunday and he left. TLDR: I was helping my dad put files onto his laptop and he accidentally opened a photo of his arsehole and balls which is now burned into my memory. a_seventh_knot: Are you sure they were his? sleepy-tired: I can’t be certain but he’s only had a wife and girlfriends and as far as I’m aware he’s not interested in men.

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daydreamer1217: TIFU I forgot to take out a lunchbox out of a backpack I am an at home daycare provider. I just started recently enough. I am a young woman who loves kids and wants them to feel safe and secure in my care. I know the previous owner of the daycare and I am definitely not her, she’s a great woman and I have big shoes to fill. Today I fucked up I forgot in the morning to take out one of the kids lunch boxes from their backyard. This kid goes to preschool and brings her backpack with her. Someone drops her off after preschool. I was changing one of babies when they came in and didn’t see that the backpack wasn’t with them. The lunchbox is still in the backpack in the vehicle. I run out of the house when I realized running in my socks yelling the person’s name down the long driveway. I can’t catch up to the truck. One of the parents’ of the kid knows already because I keep open communication. It’s important to note I’ve known this kid and family for a decent amount of time. I figured out things for the kid to eat and they aren’t starving thankfully, this kid can be picky. If this happened at your kids daycare how mad would you be and would you want to take your kid elsewhere? I’m freaking out and feel really bad about the situation. I’m usually on the ball with this stuff or at least I try to be. TL;DR Today I fucked up by forgetting to take out a lunchbox from a kid’s backpack that I watch. I’m freaking out. Patient-Category5275: Hey man it happens. I’m sure the preschool has snacks in case this kind of stuff happens. daydreamer1217: The kid had a snack for school thankfully. I’m not sure what the snack situation at the school is. I feel really bad, I hope I don’t mess up again. Thank you so much for your kindness.

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fatbussy777: TIFU by kicking my father down the stairs… UPDATE!! [removed] Goose1535: Cringiest shit I've read in a while fatbussy777: not taking this from a british knob that plays raid shadow legends 😂 my waifus >>>> Goose1535: Would rather try a mobile game once than regularly cumming on a body pillow also a knob is a door handle Nob

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visit_magrathea: TIFU Choosing an empty car on a crowded subway This happened yesterday in NYC. I took the A train uptown from 59th St as I always do coming home from work. It was relatively busy for a Saturday and there were lots of folks on the platform and already on the train. So, when the car the pulled up closest to me (in the middle of the train) was nearly empty, I was pretty stoked to get a seat. Stepping onto the car, I noticed all of the windows were open, which is weird for a cold January day. Then, as the doors closed behind me, I smelled it. I imagine it would have hit me sooner, but masks delay these things I guess. The smell was a putrid mix of primarily urine with notes of vomit and a distinct fecal finish. “Oh no,” I thought. My eyes dart around the car to find the source of this olfactory abomination. The first thing I find is one of the benches has been… used. This long seat was defiled. It, and the floor around it, were covered in what was unmistakably bodily, but not immediately specifically identifiable. The smell is making me wretch in my mask. I find a seat. I realize that I am now trapped in this car on the long stretch on the express like between 59th and 125th. That’s when I notice the man who without a doubt was responsible for the state of the car. He is drunk and unshowered. He is stumbling (dancing) to music only he can hear around the car. Stomping through his own mess and tracking it throughout the car. By some feat of gravity defiance, the man does not fall over when the train lurches to the side. I am not completely alone on the train with this man. There are others who made the mistake of getting on this empty car on a packed train. We were all greedy, foolhardy. 125th approaches. I weigh my options: I can leave this car and run to another. There’s a small chance I don’t make it to the other car and miss the train. There’s a large chance I don’t get a seat. The alternative is me quite possibly being alone in this car on my way to Dyckman/200th. The man is now banging on the windows. I decide to risk it. I dart out the door as soon as it opens and one of my fellow passengers has made a similar choice to me. Two people on the platform attempt to get into the car. We tell them they don’t want it. We tell them not to. They do not listen. Me and my new compatriot make it onto the next car on the train, now without seats but considerably more comfortable. We laugh when we realize why we’ve moved cars. We are brothers. 145th St comes. The two people we told not to go on that cursed car now enter our car. They avoid eye contact with my friend and I. We tried to warn them; they, as greedy as we once were, saw the promise of an empty car on a busy train and took it. But everything in life has its cost, and they realized that empty car was indeed empty for a reason. We all learned something on this day. TL;DR Got on a subway car that was empty for a reason. Didn’t realize until too late. FourthWorldProblem: This happened to me in London. I was late for my train and came running down to the platform mere seconds before the due departure time. I forgot I was in the UK and therefore still had plenty of time. Straight away I saw an empty carriage. I knew it was to good to be true, but couldn't help myself. Sure enough, some poor barstard had lost the battle with a large surge of diarrhoea and it covered about a third of the floor. I took a chance and switched carriages. Then watched through the windows as my manouvre was repeated by every other person. Titariia: Where is security in those situations? And is it normal that carriages aren't connected so you can switch themon the inside? Protocol117: Lol I mean..America, the land of rugged individualism. It's basically lawless. Liberal-Patriot: NYC is hardly the place I'd use as an example of rugged individualism or outright lawlessness. It's the most heavily regulated and surveiled city in the country with the largest Police force in the country. Irradiatedspoon: And yet it still has the most superheroes out of any city in the US, hmmm? Liberal-Patriot: Because despite all the laws, crime is still bad. It's not a poster child for lawlessness, but it is often a poster child of mismanagement. ThatOneGuy308: Honestly, I doubt any amount of management could solve the crime issue. Pack that many disparate groups of people on top of one another and it's pretty much guaranteed to happen, lol

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1675021613

t3_10ogarr

t5_2to41

[deleted]: TIFU by letting my dad use my Xbox controller. [deleted] Splyce123: If you have a controller that only ever had 1000 made, you don't take it out of the box. JustNoticedThat: I opened the box up so I could put it on display. I used only about three times. My dad was the one who used it mostly, and I didn’t know he used it. Splyce123: Ask your dad for the money it would cost to buy one on eBay. Only seems fair as he ruined it. JustNoticedThat: I don’t think he’d be willing to give me £1000 over something he done four years ago. Splyce123: Well, you're shit out of luck then aren't you. JustNoticedThat: Not really. I’ll get it repaired if it’s repairable.

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1673323306

t3_107n3z1

t5_2to41

Wonderful-Train-5855: TIFU, as usual. Tifu, you see me (M-16) am not exactly the social type, and speaking to people who are not my friends and especially to women, doesn't come as easy to me as speaking to male friends. Today I was walking back to the bus station and saw a friend of mine with a girl I *really* think looks good, me and him talked a bit bout some stuff and she told him she wanted to go another way to which he responded he was talking to (my name), she then asked who I was and I just told her hey he was talking to me, she responded back with a hey and I called her by name, we don't know each other at all and when she asked me where I know her name from I just told her that we follow each other on IG, immediately I could tell that made her a bit uncomfortable. Anyway, I felt weird all day like I'm some sort of creep calling someone by their first name when realistically that was our first interaction (that's because I never actually tried to talk to her) and on top of me being kind of an outsider and a bit socially awkward I think I really Fd up with that one. Anyways this is my first post so go easy on me. TL : DR I talked to a girl I like for the first time, called her by her first name, told her I know her name from IG and now she probably thinks a creep for stalking her profile. F my social awkwardness. MzHartz: Everyone is socially awkward as a teenager. If she follows you back on IG, then you're not creeping on her. If it ever comes up again, you can just say you remember her because you were impressed by her posts. And not a fuck up at all. You got to talk to a pretty girl, who now knows who you are. The next time you see her, meet her eyes, wave, and keep walking. If you see her talking to your friend again and you get a chance to talk to her, say something like, "I'm sorry we didn't get a proper introduction last time. I'm Wonderful-Train-5855." You never know, one day she might get over her own awkwardness (yes, she's nervous too), and maybe talk to you more. threelizards: This is really really good advice. I was a teenager around when IG really started taking off and I think people now forget that social media casts a really wide net and there’s no strict separation between online circles and irl circles. I think young people don’t have any real grasp of what the internet is or how having an Instagram that you have public and don’t vet followers on, will mean that sometimes someone recognises you. This is a truly mild fuck up that’s recoverable, I swear! No_Love_1353: 100% this.

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t3_10oghzz

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[deleted]: TIFU: buy accidentally buying sugar free werthers originals. [deleted] kikmaester: Meh, call me when there's juicy fallout from your fuckup. Like, I'm glad I guess that you are not having the shits right now...but it'd be a better read if you did. "I bought the wrong thing but fixed it before I ate any or had any ill effects" is BARELY a fuckup. Let me know if your parents eat them and there's fallout there 😆 Setthegodofchaos: I'll be happy to let you know. 😁. I felt I had dodged a tactical nuke imo. If you're looking for something juicy try r/juice , r/juicing or r/poopstories or other poop related fuck ups. 😁

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ChurchBathThrowaway: TIFU by masturbating at church [removed] pygame: hey in this creative writing exercise is the character you’re playing bisexual? wtshiz: And since today is Sunday, OP what day does your fictional church give the eucharist on if this was 'a few days ago'? ChurchBathThrowaway: Consequences started to kick in from this incident a few days ago... (churches switching, professional help involved)

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[deleted]: TIFU for throwing away an ENTIRE semester All my college exams are in a week and I am going to fail every single one of them. I might have to redo an entire year of college just because I was too busy playing videogames and watching some corn. I am worried about my parents but most importantly I have let myself down which is an awful sensation. My parents are not happy but I am very lucky that they always support me nonetheless. Every year I fail a couple of subjects and they have to open the wallet and pay extra so I can take those subjects for another year. They have never yelled at me or anything for having to do so. However, this time is not gonna be two or three subjects, it is going to be six. I wish I could change and become disciplined. I am currently studying for one of them: the esiest one. Maybe I can save that one but I don't have time for the rest. I know a lot of people migh already have posted similar stuff on this sub. I know posting this isn't going to improve my grades. Maybe I am trying to get forgiveness? Idk. I just feel awful with myself. I have very low will power and discipline and I always fail to sit in front of the books. Laziness and videogame adiction get the worst of me. I hate it but nonetheless I always end up repeating my mistakes. It is messed up that I can't improve even though I don´'t like my behaviour and fail a lot of subjects every year. TL;DR: Gonna fail six exams just because I was busy playing videogames and watching corn. I hate that behavour but I still never learn from my mistakes. I might have to repeat an entire year of college. Most importantly, I feel awful for letting myself down. GunterGearhart: The first step isn’t complaining about it on Reddit. In fact, it’s best to delete Reddit. Hella porn on here. Get real counseling in real life. Your parents seem to have the means to support you. So ask them to support you in paying for your counseling. Timeon: He said corn not porn. Addicted to corn. lindzer1285: It has the juice

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[deleted]: That’s not what I said if you looked at my previous comment, I said that the parents were kind and generous enough to take care of this person while she was not able to… however, after reading through more of the comments and OPs responses it made me feel like she was dealing with a narcissistic person. McKimboSlice: In all of OPs comments they only made TWO statements about things the ex has done. 1. Agreed to one last meal to hash things out. This is not out of the ordinary and has happened with several of my own breakups. Just because OP made the statement about them “being locked up” doesn’t mean anything. They deserve to be locked up. 2. That they and the parents threatened to call the cops but never did. Again OP deserves to be locked up. So I ask you again, where is your alleged narcissism? I’m sorry you had bad thing happen to you. We’ve all had bad things happen. I’ve had an abusive partner that used to slap me if I chewed too loudly and would get drunk and hit me. I understand it colors how we think about things, but in this situation it does not apply. You’re defending and making excuses for the abuser. [deleted]: I never made an excuse for abusive behavior, I just said move on with your life , don’t beat yourself up, and to forgive yourself,… I’m not saying that behavior is OK. All I’m saying is, as I’m sure you can understand, when you are in a weird abusive situation that you don’t even know is abuse you’re gonna come out is the villain. And maybe OP is the villain here I don’t know know OP. So she already feels shitty about herself and she feels like she ruined her life, everyone else feels shitty about her too. She comes here to vent and get some kind of support. Let’s not make her feel worse. Also, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. No one deserves to be treated that way. McKimboSlice: So you’re just not going to address you accusing someone who’s been abused/assaulted of narcissism? Coolio. [deleted]: I feel like you’re like so stuck on this point when I never said, as a matter of fact, this person was narcissistic. All I said was be careful with the dinner. it’s not that big of a deal. McKimboSlice: Except you did: u/Lic4457 44m ago. “The more I read through these comments the more I realize that you may be dealing with a narcissistic person and his parents, and if that's the case you probably were just expressing something hidden”. So what comments are you talking about? Because I’ve read ALL of their comments and those are nowhere. So please tell us your credentials for this opinion, besides begging for free pizza on Reddit. [deleted]: You literally read through 260 comments? McKimboSlice: OP made 9 comments. None of the other 251 know the abused ex. So are you being obtuse knowingly or are you just that ignorant. [deleted]: Well, my bad I didn’t keep track of it like that [deleted]: Also, what the fuck are you talking about? I never said OP was abused. McKimboSlice: Where did I say you said OP was abused. Please share. Because at this point I’m unsure if you actually know how to comprehend this. If you need help understanding, I’m here to help. [deleted]: I think if you really want to continue this conversation, you should just private message me because at this point it’s fucking embarrassing and pitiful and not something I’m wanting to do. McKimboSlice: Yeah I would be pretty embarrassed to blatantly accuse someone of something in a comment and then deny it even when presented with the evidence. Yet you still double down. You clearly have nothing to add to this or any conversation. Grow up and have a great day. [deleted]: Oh my God what are you talking about? McKimboSlice: Do I seriously have to recount the last two hours to you? Are you that incapable of rereading the nonsense you’ve are are you trying to drag the rest of us down with you? Jesus you’re tiring. Anyone ever told you that? [deleted]: Honestly, in my opinion, you just seem like a hateful person and that sucks, I’m sorry, maybe it’s the gum…

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Insanityforfun: TIFU by ordering Girl Scout Cookies and realising I might have face blindness [removed] Original_Profile8600: Not sure this is a F.U, as long as this is a relatively large campus you most likely won’t see her again. If you do and you are really stressed about it worse case scenario you explain the mixup and say she looks a lot like one of your family members named Diana Insanityforfun: I know it’s not that big of deal but I’m super socially awkward, and my campus is very tiny lol. Hopefully I won’t run into her again though lol. Mel0nypanda: Will u remember if you run into here again? Haha

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t3_10okhxs

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Overall_Cream2907: Tifu by soiling my pants at the gym. Right I know it’s stupid before I get all the comments. This lately my life has been a little hectic, I’m waking at 5am getting ready to go to work which is about a 3 hour trip to and from (yeah I know it’s a slog but it pays well and I really enjoy what I do) i’m going to the gym daily and meal prepping then getting home at about 21:30 each night, I have recently tried holding in my bowel movements continuously because I take a long while getting the job done and I’ve sort of just brushed it off until today I woke up and the pain was unfathomable anyway I done the usual of brushing it off as I have done from the past 1-2 weeks and next thing u know I’m squatting and I get to my last rep and I thing my body sort of just realised he needed to let that sucker loose and dropped a giant ass doogie in my underwear, thankfully they were tight fitting however that just caused me to essentially smush it all around and paint my ass like a Icelandic mud bath, I had to instantly shower at the gym and dispose of my shorts and boxers and cancelling my gym membership. I truly feel awful for the individual that has to replace the trash bag with my stinking boxers and shorts sizzling away inside of, I think it’s safe to say I will never be returning. TLDR; I shat my pants at the gym by avoiding shitting due to time constraints shiveringsongs: Honestly, soiling yourself is one of the least bad outcomes from consistently holding in your business. Hoping you make a change now. That said, this sounds really embarrassing man, sorry you went through it. Overall_Cream2907: Haha, it’s okay there wasn’t too many people around to see it happen, I think I got out quick enough so that the smell wasn’t pinpointed to me Overall_Cream2907: I will be ensuring to take care business when needs be from now on. RetroReactiveRuckus: Please do! Holding it in can lead to incontinence over the long term!

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Buggyboy05: TIFU by slashing a random person's tires [removed] vrythngvrywhr: > I have ADHD so this is triggering to me. Holy fucking shit this generation is as soft as a baby's ass. moistnote: Soft? This guy slashed two tires!!! But yea, blaming being a dumb ass alcoholic on adhd is cringe. vrythngvrywhr: Getting triggered is soft. Getting triggered by words is softer. Getting triggered by words that have nothing to do with your diagnosis is as soft as a baby ass looking for a wipey. moistnote: You do know that while other generations don’t call it “triggered” they also got easily offended and acted irrationally. Like, this isn’t new by any means. vrythngvrywhr: And it doesn't make getting offended over idiocy any less whiny and annoying. People in general suck. It's not a "this generation" sucks. moistnote: You said “this generation is soft” I was saying, every generation is soft. Cxlow91: It’s not a “this generation sucks” it’s actually a “this group of individuals born between certain years sucks”

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1675039021

t3_10on2e3

t5_2to41

TeetotaylorSwift: TIFU: Honeymoon, Nashville TN, Unlimited Whiskey, Leslie Jordan, Flowers for Algernon, Projectile Vomiting, Alcohol Poisoning, Food Poisoning, Taylor Swift, Grand Theft Auto, Feral Cat, Property Damage, No Divorce Edition Happy Sunday. Y'all! ​ TL;DR: Went on Honeymoon to Nashville TN to see Taylor Swift and eat chicken. Got too drunk at distillery tours and got food poisoning from undercooked chicken. Puked on a security guard and got kicked out before the show started. My FIL's car got stolen. I accidentally let a feral cat into the B&B and destroyed a woman's home. Spent rest of weekend sick in the guest cottage hiding from the host. Wife did not get an annulment or file for divorce. ​ So, this story actually took place years ago, pre-pandemic. Our friends still joke about it and they encouraged me to share it to reddit, so here we go... ​ It was late summer 2018 and my wife and I had just gotten married in a beautiful ceremony that miraculously went off without a hitch. All of the stress we were both under ensuring a successful event had evaporated. We were on the final leg of our honeymoon, the part which I was most proud of arranging (and certain she would love. ​ I had grand plans of whisking my beloved girlfriend away to the bustling city of Nashville, Tennessee for a romantic weekend getaway filled with lip-smacking hot chicken, foot-tapping country music, and good ol' southern hospitality. I had booked us a charming Bed and Breakfast, and also managed to acquire two VIP tickets to see Taylor Swift - my girlfriend's favorite artist. So, when I packed up our hotel room in Huntsville, Alabama to drive the final two hours to our destination I was riding high, my guy. Her parents had even allowed us to borrow their exceptionally comfortable, exceptionally costly car for the trip as it was, after all, our honeymoon. ​ The concert was that evening, and we would arrive in Nashville around noon so we would have some time to kill. I figured we would go shopping, walk around downtown, grab some local food, Ya know, tourist stuff. Little did I know, my significant other had other ideas, ideas that would have made even the most seasoned drinkers quiver in fear. Or salivate in excitement - I don't know - I'm a Pepsi guy. ​ "Darling, I've heard that Nashville is the mecca of whiskey, with more distilleries per capita than any other city in the world," my girlfriend gushed, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "I want to visit every single one of them and sample their unique blends." she beamed, quoting the back of a pamphlet she held. Ever intrepid, she surprised me by informing me that she had already booked us a 6 location distillery tour - operated by some company that shuttles people from place to place in a big goofy trolley - on Groupon. And so it was. ​ As a self-proclaimed teetotaler, I was more than a little apprehensive. However, in the spirit of love, I agreed to go along for the ride, hoping to broaden my horizons and surprise my girlfriend with my newfound appreciation for the drink of the gods. Now I'm not actually a full-on teetotaler or straight-edge boi (is sXe a thing still?) - it's just that for the past few years I probably haven't consumed alcohol on more than a couple occasions per year. I don't have addiction issues or any idealogical issues with alcohol or people drinking it - I just...dear lord this is so lame please forgive me...I just prefer Pepsi. Also teetotaler is a fun word, you don't want to know how many times I have muttered it under my breath while writing this. ​ We arrived at our B&B address in Nashville and were greeted with a wave from the enthusiastic, exceedingly endearing southern lady. She seated on a white-painted wooden swing suspended from the ceiling of the expansive wraparound porch. Beside her on a glass table were two large glass pitchers of what was unmistakably freshly brewed tea and freshly squeezed lemonade. I felt like I was in a Desperate Housewives episode or something. To my wife's chagrin, I immediately accepted her offer to fix us some sandwiches for lunch. As she was putting them together, she went over the wifi passwords, parking situation, and house rules for our stay. ​ She informed us that parking was free, but first-come-first-serve, on the street and that we would be staying in the guest house out back separate from the main house. She then warned us that she tends to go to sleep very early, and that she is a deep sleeper. So from about 8pm on we would be on our own till morning. For our convenience, she would leave the sliding glass door that opened up to the patio/backyard/our lodging unlocked if we needed any toiletries, towels, or wanted snacks. We thanked her and took our sandwiches back to the room with us to eat while we figured out where we were supposed to meet for our upcoming tour. She should never have told us about the snacks, but that comes later... ​ Much to our surprise, the pickup location was only a 7 minute walk away from our B&B so we unpacked the car and hung out for a little before walking to the pickup point. We were picked up, and our fateful tour was underway. ​ It began at the first distillery, where we were met by a knowledgeable tour guide who regaled us with the history and process of whiskey making. He resembled beloved American Horror Story actor and all-around icon, dearly departed, fellow Tennessean Leslie Jordan. He sounded uncannily like him and his charismatic disposition and clearly genuine passion for whiskey were contagious, I must admit, I was pleasantly surprised by the sophisticated aroma and smooth taste of the samples. My girlfriend was in a state of bliss, and I found myself caught up in her enthusiasm. ​ Before I knew it, we had visited five distilleries, each one offering a unique twist on the traditional whiskey, from honey-infused to maple-wood aged. My girlfriend was like a kid in a candy store, and I was having a blast too. ​ As my bouncy buzz gave way to my impending inebriation, things started to go south for me. At the sixth distillery, I started feeling lightheaded and dizzy. I tried to play it cool, but with each sip, I felt like I was spiraling into oblivion. I was becoming clumsier, my voice higher, and I felt like I was literally becoming less intelligent. I had to abort my back-and-forth banter with our Leslie Jordan look-alike tour guide because my contributions to the group conversation were progressively deteriorating. Aggressively excessively, impressively unimpressively, repressively regressively, progressively depressively, digressively degressively, deteriorating. Sorry, once I started I could not stop... ​ My wife later informed me that I had made slurred out some long-winded, convoluted word salad comparing the effects of alcohol consumption to...regrettably, the plot of Flowers for Algernon. I capped my ramblings off with a proposed toast to Charly - the story's main character. Thankfully, I have no memory of the apparently audible groans my request elicited, nor did I notice that no one joined in my cheers. I wasn't dangerously drunk, but I was on my way there. My girlfriend, who had been having the time of her life, noticed my rapid decline and proposed we take a break and grab some early dinner. We left the tour, skipping the final stop. ​ On our way to the concert, I started feeling nauseous again, and I knew I was in trouble. As soon as we got in line to enter the concert, I puked all over a security guy, and I was asked to leave. My wife, being the amazing woman she is, took charge and called a rideshare to take me back to our bed and breakfast. Irate, Mr. Security Man shut down any idea of my girlfriend just going in without me - she was guilty by association. ​ We found a quaint little café that looked like it was straight out of a fairytale and ordered some food. I got my hot chicken and some water in me and things were looking up. Our waitress brought us over a couple of large whiskey shots on the house to congratulate us on our union. Feeling better and not wanting to make her feel bad, we raised our glasses and took the shots, My stomach was instantly in knots and I lost the remainder of my appetite. I was back in the danger zone, fighting to stay afloat. We paid our tab and quickly stopped back at the B&B to drop our leftovers off and get ready for the concert. ​ After a quick rest for me and a little pregaming for my wife, we were off to the concert. Taylor Swift. Her favorite artist. Her first time seeing her perform. The concert her friends were so jealous of. That she had been psyched for for months. The number one highlight of a month full of highlights. The climax of our story. I thought about telling her to go alone, but by this point I was a lot more put together than I had been - my speech and general bodily coordination had improved promisingly. I was still feeling dizzy, but I didn't want to disappoint her on our honeymoon. I knew that if I didn't go, memories of our honeymoon would forever be marred by my callous abandonment. I could already hear the voices of my wife's friends telling her how selfish I am. Not today, Satan! I told myself foolishly. ​ On our way to the concert, I started feeling nauseous, and I very nearly asked the driver to take me back to the safety of the cottage. But it passed. Like completely. We joined hundreds of other Swifties in line and my wife hugged me, pecked me on the cheek, and whispered in my ear that she loved me. I was elated. All was right with the world again. I almost blew it, but we were back baby! The line was moving at a pretty decent clip, and we were almost inside the venue when, out of nowhere, my mouth absolutely flooded with saliva. ​ I turned to the side in shock and disgust while what felt like a liter of spit fell out of my mouth. Simultaneously, I was hit with a wave of nausea so strong he thought I was going to pass out. As I doubled over, I felt the pressure building inside me. Like molten lava the bile rose up in my throat, replacing the saliva. I tried to turn away from the people around me, but it was too late. With a loud, guttural retch, I sharply turned and projectile vomited through my hands all over the unsuspecting security officer in front of me. ​ The putrid smell of stomach acid filled the air as whisky and hot chicken came spewing out in an arc, drenching the sidewalk and peppering the poor fellow. The man staggered back, horrified at what I had just done, as the crowd around him erupted in a chorus of disgusted gasps and cries of "eww!" I was promptly kicked out and my wife, red with shame, was guilty by association. No T-Swift for her. We got out of the queue, both mortified beyond measure. We were silent for a few minutes in shock. I expected her to be mad, but this angel of a woman just asked me if I was okay and if there was anything she could do. We got back in an uber and went to the B&B to call it a night. ​ But our adventure wasn't over yet. When we arrived back at the bed and breakfast, we found out that our car had been stolen. My wife, being the strong and independent woman she is, and me, being the weak and dependent man I am, called the police herself. Then the insurance company. Then her parents. I was positive that her dad was going to kill me, but he was surprisingly cool. After a solid rest session I was hungry, and I decided to check the leftovers from the café. That's when I saw the raw chicken, and I realized that the hot chicken from the cute café was undercooked, and I hadn't been able to tell because of my intoxication. ​ I remembered the kind host mentioning that the main house's kitchen was always left unlocked for cottage guests if they needed something after hours. So, I decided to take her up on this offer. When I got there, I was greeted by a big adult cat meowing at the door. I opened the door and the cat darted inside. I quickly found some chips and goldfish in the cupboards and made my way back to the cottage, leaving the cat inside. I felt that I had done a good deed by letting the lil feller in for the night because it had been thundering out. The rest of the night went by without incident. ​ The next morning, there was a knock on our cottage door, and the host asked if we had let a cat into the main house. I sheepishly said yes, and it turned out that the cat was a feral tomcat and caused absolute mayhem overnight, resulting in $1500 in damages. She didn't have the $1.500 dollar number right then, I only found out about that a week or so later. She said that the cat tore her place up and scratched her when she shooed it out, and asked if I would pay the damages willingly. I acquiesced immediately. ​ Honestly, she must have taken pity on us after seeing us talk to the police about the stolen vehicle and given us a honeymoon disaster discount. $1,500 dollars was extremely generous for the level of destruction that tomcat wreaked. There was a lot of "spraying" involved, and a lot of shredded leather furniture and soiled oriental rugs. The host looked sad for the rest of our stay, and neither party - my wife and I - or her - looked each other in the eyes for the rest of our stay, ​ I went to sleep feeling fine but woke up with the most spectacular bout of food poisoning known to man. The remainder of the trip was spent in bed, with me alternating between sweating and shivering, oscillating between hugging the toilet and curling up in the fetal position. My wife stayed by my side and took care of me. I don't deserve her. ​ Our dream honeymoon had turned into a nightmare and it was all my fault. The memories we made, both good and bad, will stay with us forever, and I wouldn't have wanted to spend that wild weekend with anyone else but my amazing wife. l learned a valuable lesson - to be cautious of what I eat and to limit my alcohol intake, especially when traveling. And maybe, just maybe, I'll stick to one or two samples at the distilleries and avoid hot chicken in the future. ​ We were actually able to start laughing about it by the following week - so don't worry about us guys :) lumiyeti: I quote "my guy", you wrote a book, I couldn't make it, but I laughed all the way through for as far as I made it. Hate to ask, could you post some more cliff notes for lazy peeps like myself 😅 TeetotaylorSwift: Yeah I'm going rto rewrite this more concisely at some point lol, I got you

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Powermetalbunny: TIFU by buying 5000 MTG cards So.... I (29f) have many hobbies that I partake in. One is the construction of costumes, cosplay accessories, props etc... and another is collecting Magic the Gathering cards. A couple of towns over from where I live there is a lovely little tabletop, board and card game shop that I like to frequent and inside this shop is a consignment case. Now this consignment case started off as a way for their patrons to give their armies, cards, used bord games and the like a second life. The seller puts a price on their item, the store puts it in the case and then another customer comes along, buys it, the store keeps 10% of the profit as a consignment fee, and the rest of the funds go to the seller in the form of store credit. It essentially works like an exchange program. Now, I'm a fiend for board and card games, but I can't justify spending hundreds of dollars to expand my collection when I could be spending that money to you know.... live.... specifically in California. This system works quite well for me however, since all I have to do is make something interesting or nerdy enough for someone else to want to buy it and then spend the store credit on whatever I want. I've carved dozens of ornate wands out of tree branches, sewn costume jewelry out of ribbon and beads made all kinds of horn and ear headbands and blah, blah, blah. Usually it sells within a couple of weeks and my latest haul from selling 4 fox ear headbands was just under $70. Cool, let's get some cards! So then my dumb ass noticed that they have a bulk blind box of 2500 MTG cards, pre-owned in varying conditions for $50 and guess what else? Buy one get one free! Cool! I could have saved that extra credit for several brand new draft boosters or a new board game, but the thrill of a 5000 card pull was just too tempting. Gotcha games and cards WILL be the death of me. So I bought two bulk boxes of MTG cards, one draft booster packet and a box of sleeves and only paid $9 out of pocket for the whole shebang. Then on the drive home it hits me.... Where the fuck am I going to put all these cards? Will I need to buy MORE binders? Also how much is it going to cost to sleeve all of the little buggers? (if I keep them all) I'm also very OCD about the way I sort my cards and put them in the binders, so how long is this going to take me? The answers are "Yes," "a lot (just under $650 for that many sleeves)" and "way too long." This could go on forever.... TL;DR: I spent $9 on something it's going to cost me about $700 to store safely. lmaogoaway: Considering the worth of the cards individually, couldn't you just sleeve the good ones? I can't imagine any less than 80% of those 5000 cards are largely worthless. Nicely sorted and placed in an inexpensive box would suffice. Powermetalbunny: Yeah, most likely.... I have a couple of friends who are into them as well, so if I end up with an absurd amount of doubles I could just gift them too I guess. Like I mentioned, before though, the intrusive thoughts won lol. I could've bought a whole ass board game. korza493: Could you not place the doubles back into the consignment case and make some store credit back on them? Powermetalbunny: Oh yeah, for sure... but you only get credit if it sells. It depends on how valuable the double is. If it's not something that's particularly high value it could just sit around and not sell. Some cards just aren't worth people's time because they're common or weak.

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t3_10onidf

t5_2to41

Miserable_0ne: TIFU when you paid USD94.50 annual subscription after using a free trial at lucidchart 9 days ago, I tried a trial version on LucidChart. It requires your credit card number to use it. So I'm a desperate student who needs to settle an assignment for diagramming. So I inserted my debit card info and promise myself that I would cancel the trial version once it was almost 2 days before the trial ended or so. A few days later, I forgot to cancel the subscription. I accidentally subscribe for 1 year until 28 Jan 2024. It charges me USD94.50 which huge amount of money since I live in Malaysia so the conversion rate is too damn high. I want to refund the money back by emailing their email. Still today I still don't get any response. I really did a grave mistake because I am dumb to give my privilege to a company that offers a trial version with credit card info. Does anyone here know how to get a refund from LucidChart? when I google it, it says there is no refund policy. I'm begging someone can enlighten me to get my money back TL;DR: use the trial version of Lucidchart but requires credit card info. Forgot to cancel the subscription and now I paid accidentally USD94.50. whitedragon551: Lucidchart is free for students. Try reaching out to the departments on this page for help: https://www.lucidchart.com/pages/usecase/education Miserable_0ne: I think I cannot find where is the department that helps me. that link redirected to open a student account. Is it possible to reach them out if you switch to student account? whitedragon551: I've emailed them directly, and they converted my account as a student.

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1675062985

t3_10on8jb

t5_2to41

BruhImSoTired111: TIFU by throwing my tentacle dildo across the room at my roommate [removed] cunninglinguist32557: A roommate once came into my room to ask me a question, and as she was talking I realized my vibrator was sitting out on a chair next to my bed. For some reason my instinct was to reach for it. Thankfully, all she said was "Oh, I have one of those, I use it constantly." ZarquonsFlatTire: I was on a first date with a girl, she was looking for her bowl so we could smoke. I was laying on her bed and I stretched a bit and felt a cylinder under her pillow and said "Oh, I think I found it." Her head whipped around wide-eyed and I said "So that's not the bowl is it?" She shook her head no. "So I should probably let it go right?" She nodded. We later lived together for a couple of years but I always thought that was funny. Her 13 year old cat got out the same night so me accidentally finding her vibrater wasn't even the worst thing to happen on our first date. (Cat was found 4 days later safe and sound) B_Hallzy: > she was looking for her bowl so we could smoke ~~Sorry, but I can't figure out what word you meant to say.~~ Edit: Ok so I guess a bowl can also be a type of drug paraphernalia. I was thinking, the thing I put noodles in. TheArcticKiwi: bong, most likely Calimari_Damacy: Bowls aren't bongs, they're just pipes. AzraelTB: If I go to a store and tell them I need a new bowl they're not handing me a pipe. Calimari_Damacy: Is this a regional thing? I *have* walked into my dispensary and said I need a new bowl, and we all knew I needed a small glass pipe. AzraelTB: I live in Canada so maybe. If I want a pipe I say pipe, if I need a new bowl for my bong I say bowl. Such-Lettuce7970: I also live in Canada and bowl can be either. AzraelTB: Canada also has regional slang though... Such-Lettuce7970: Of course :) AzraelTB: I refer to 3.5g as a HQ/Half Quarter as well if it helps lol

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1673388472

t3_107rwbw

t5_2to41

Delicious_Froyo_7654: TIFU by telling my gf/fiance to accept her audible gift. So, granted, this wasn't today and this is an anonymous user.. But anyway.I have known this girl for literally half my life (more, actually), and during most of it we always wanted to be together. About a 8 years ago we got engaged, but shit happened and we put it on pause. We were often on and off due to her religious family and the fact that if they knew about us they might literally kill her. Needless to say that put a lot of sticks in our wheels over the years, but we still wanted it. Queue 2020. We finally get it off, we have our plans set in motion, she bought a house so we can move in there and live away from her family. Found a wedding venue, talked to a visa agent, the whole thing. Then COVID-19 came. Her country went into a very prolonged lockdown and it put a lot of stress on our relationship. Keep in mind, she's extremely busy at work and has a super stressful and mentally demanding job. At the beginning of COVID-19 I bought her a $250 spa voucher, telling her that she deserves to get some relaxation from her demanding work. She kept putting it off, then the lockdowns came, vouchers got expired. Now, lockdowns were getting closed to being finised, things were getting better again. I told my manager I might leave work soon due to me moving to another country to be with my fiance. Fast forward a little bit and we're talking about audible, I tell her how I have an audible account from my workplace and she mentions she thought about getting one but never got around to it. I decided to buy her an audible account voucher as a gift and email it to her. It must have landed in her spam or something, because she didn't redeem it. I reminded her of it a couple times but during a stressful period in both of our time's (she just got out of surgery), she told me she's re-considering the relationship because of her family. This was after we had already made several plans, I informed all of my friends and family (after being reluctant to do so, but she felt a bit disappointed that I told no one about us). She wanted to go see a therapist who she can talk to. I, at a moment of pure stupidity and annoyance at the whole situation told her something along the lines of "\[...\] and would you please redeem the gift already? I don't want the vouchers to expire like last time with the spa". In any case, that broke the camel's back, she said I just made her decision a lot easier. Blocked my number, haven't spoken to since. It has been nearly a year. I have done nothing except think about it ever since. Today I received the engagement ring in the mail. I don't know what to do with it. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, I need a drink now. TL;DR I told my fiance, a person I have loved for more than half my life, that she should redeem a gift in a very disrespectful way and have ended up losing her. phenominal73: I think you dodged a bullet. She didn’t seem totally ready anyway due to her family. That Audible gift wasn’t the straw that broke the camels back, she was looking for a way out and used that. Return the ring so that when you fall in love again, you will get a ring that is special for that person. Hope you find true love and happiness in the future. Topinambourg: Sell the ring, give it to charity, whatever but don't return it, she doesn't deserve it. Liscetta: I think they said "return the ring to a shop, don't reuse it for your next girlfriend". Unless it is a family inheritance (that now should go to the next of OP's kin and not to his next girlfriend), returning the ring is probably the best option. Topinambourg: Oh you're right, my bad. Although I would think it's been to long to return it to the shop JakeJakayo: Not if he only received it in the post today Topinambourg: Ok I'm a moron I thought she mailed him back her engagement ring. It didn't occur to me some people by engagement ring online and/or have them delivered

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1675109013

t3_10onvj1

t5_2to41

poo_munch: Tifu by accepting a bonus job my from boss Obligatory this happened several years ago but I was reminded of it by the recent post about a guy investigating mysterious sounds in a McDonald's bathroom. Like many productive teens I worked a mind numbing job enslaved to that sinister clown. One day my boss came back into the kitchen and said he had an extra job doing some cleaning in the kids playground and that whoever did the job for him could have free meals at that Macca's for a week. Naturally the promise of free food and not having to do my actual job for a bit was a tempting offer and I accepted. That was the fuck up, as I entered the playground a very upset woman with her arm round a young lad with down syndrome hurried out of the restaurant with a look in her eyes that conveyed a thousand apologies at once. As it would turn out, what I was set to be cleaning as a 5m skid mark that said down syndrome lad had left curling it's way from the top of the curly tube slide to the bottom. Now, that's not so bad u/poo_munch you might say, just go to the top of the slide and pour water down. Yeah, tried that one, I was too big to actually get through the playground to the top of the slide so I had to slowly inch my way up the curly slide with a dam of paper towels to stop the shit water from cascading down the slide into me. All in all I spent about an hour in that shit stained tunnel and left with a profound appreciation for what Andy Dufresne went through at the end of Shawshank redemption. The real kicker was after I was done my boss added the caveat that I would only get free meals when on shift and the fucker hadn't rostered me on for the rest of the week. Tldr: Accepted a bonus job from my McDonald's boss for free food and got stuck scrubbing shit out of a slide and then got no free food. slothlikeagility: your boss sounds like an asshole, i’d be so pissed off poo_munch: Believe it or not he was actually one of the better ones NeedsMaintenance_: I don't believe it after cheating you like that. Sounds like a real piece of shit. poo_munch: It was a low bar at that McDonald's

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1673750105

t3_107sizy

t5_2to41

bros402: What's going on? aliengsxr: Well a bunch of things and tbh it's getting to be exhausting explaining it all even. Short and sweet I'm ou5 of $$$ and out of health insurance and my back and liver are fucked. I really don't want to go about finding ways to get treated as I'm exhausted of jumping though the hoops an barrels. I sincerely think that suicide is a valid route forward and that is my choice. bros402: Where are you located? You able to get medicaid? aliengsxr: I'm located near Pittsburgh . I have not looked into it and nor do I intent on doing so when I could simply eat several bottles of pills, and hang my self after slitting my wrists . The last time I went to the looney bin they didn't do shit and they charged my insurance 14k . I no longer have insurance and I'm out of money with bill due. Consensuseur: That's terrible and I'm sad for you. Medicaid. Then anti-depressants Then a great therapist/s. At least try that before, you know... you could sign up for some mission work and never talk to certain people again and thus completely exchange your current existence for a new one. aliengsxr: Look, I've tried enough of their drugs. Idk if it was their drugs that fucked up my liver or not, all I know is I took them and they made things worse, except for the benzos. The problem with them is they built a tolerance amd then the dosage kept needing to be increased but then evenly they took me off of them and ever since I've wanted to put a bullet in my head. I've thought it through long and hard and I don't see life worth living . That's my opinion and my choices and I believe that I'm allowed to think this way regardless if you do not. Consensuseur: I agree that you're absolutely allowed to think that way. There's no rules to it. Also, I can relate. Besides, is it an opinion, thought or a feeling? But you're on Reddit discussing it and from what you've shared, really seems like you're describing a feeling/mindset that could pass. Also kinda interesting that this follows removal of drugs esp. ones mentioned. That's rough and takes time to recalibrate. aliengsxr: Well here's the awesome part, I haven't taken drugs/alcohol for about a year now, so I've got no tolerance and I should be able to od quite easily! 😀 Consensuseur: How ya doing today slugger? aliengsxr: Well I have had a terrible headache all day, took a giant tonsil stone out today and my throat was bleeding for about an hour but I ate a kick ass cheese burger. Consensuseur: Well, hallelujah for kick ass cheeseburgers. I think I will go get one myself! Glad your still hackin through it all! aliengsxr:  Burgers will give you a gut like that. Be careful. Real talk though I feel miserable. I had someone help me sign up for government healthcare today.. Hopefully I can get some help, things are pretty bleak for me right now.

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1673310785

t3_107t26z

t5_2to41

omniscient_anomaly: TIFU by eating an edible I would just like to preface this by saying that I live in Ireland, where weed is still illegal. I am not new to weed by any means, and I fucked up bad. I'm posting this just to get it off my chest more than anything, as this all went down last night. So last night I (20F) decided I wanted to have my edible that I bought last week. I had spent the day cleaning my room, getting some college work done, and just wanted to chill out for the evening and watch a movie. I had bought the edible off my boyfriend (22M). He got the weed from a friend that deals, and he made the edibles himself, so I knew there was nothing sus. Fast forward to about 8pm, and I eat the edible. I'm coming up pretty fast so by 8:20, I'm already feeling kinda high. At this point, my dad (50M) texts me to ask if I want to watch a movie downstairs with him and my family. I say no as, you know I've just eaten an edible, and I don't want to be around my family when I'm high, as they don't know that I smoke/consume weed in any way. I'm feeling a bit bummed out now as I would have liked to go watch the film, so this is ruining my come up. I try to chill out and just watch some youtube, but all I can think about is how upset I am that I didn't/couldn't watch the movie with them. So the movie is now over and my mother (50F) is coming up to bed. Now, my mother comes into my room every night to say goodnight to me before she goes to bed, so I start panicking a bit in my head about how she's going to know that I'm high (typical stoner paranoia). She comes in and asks me why I didn't watch the movie with them, so I make up an excuse and just say I wasn't feeling too good. (This is where the fuck up REALLY starts). She starts questioning me and asking what's wrong and I literally start having a panic attack. I'm like "I just don't feel good. My stomach is kinda sick, etc etc" so of course my mother's first thought is "are you pregnant?" I'm avoiding eye contact at all costs because my eyes are SO red and she's catching on. "Why are you not looking at me?" I freak out and just tell her I'm going to fill up my water bottle and I'll be back. So between leaving my room, and returning again, I have gone through the seven stages of grief. I decide that I should probably just come clean, so I do. Now I would like to add here that I did not think she would react the way she did. I knew it would be bad, but I did not think it would be THIS bad. She starts acting as if I'm addicted to heroin, telling me that if it's to help me sleep that she has pills that I could take instead (because benzos are so much better than weed amirite kids). She calls my dad up, and my dad just does not care. He understands that it's just weed and that I'm just a little too high right now. He's like "well there's nothing we can do now she'll be fine in the morning." She's telling me to go make myself sick, that she thinks she should ring an ambulance etc etc. Eventually she's just telling me to go to sleep and to drink lots of water. Her and my dad leave the room and they go into their room, right beside mine, to talk. She's talking about how I'm throwing my life away, and questioning what other drugs I've done (Spoiler alert: none). Me and my boyfriend went to Amsterdam over the summer and have another trip booked in February, and she's asking my dad if it's legal to "snort that stuff" over there. This woman is also convinced I'm about to die in my sleep, no joke. Eventually this all dies down and she goes to bed, and my dad goes downstairs to watch TV. Then like an hour later he comes into my room because my mother sent him to "check on me." He asks am I ok, to which I say yes. He responds with "I know you are, goodnight." Fast forward to this evening, she's trying to talk\* to me. (\*Her version of a "talk" is she talks, I listen). She tells me that my boyfriend isn't allowed come over any more, and that she almost rang the police on him. She says she "doesn't know who I am anymore," which if you ask me, is the exact same person I was 2 years ago before I started smoking weed. So that's where we're at. What was supposed to be a chill, relaxing night, turned into an absolute shitshow. TLDR; Ate an edible, got paranoid, had a panic attack and told my mother I was high, and now she isn't speaking to me Toucangenocide: I'd imagine watching you freak out and go full twitch probably concerned her more than the weed. Try to talk to her when you're in a better state. omniscient_anomaly: I wouldn’t say i “went full twitch” hahah I just got a bit upset really, after I told her what was actually wrong I calmed down a lot and tried to explain that I was fine but she wasn’t having it Toucangenocide: Lol, fair enough. I accidently ate a 500mg edible vs 50 mg recently because I didn't read the packaging. My wife had a blast with it, but would likely have called an ambulance if she didn't know why I was being so ridiculous

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t3_107u6rv

t5_2to41

Ok_Art_5765: Tifu by messaging my ex on grindr It hasn’t even been two weeks since he(34m) broke it off with me(32m) after 13 years. I still miss him, and apparently that means I am now an inconsolable pathetic mess. I’m still unsure why he decided to end things after so long without any major discussion. I had asked him to do a video call to answer some questions…last Thursday. It never happened. Now, because I’m a mess, of course I download grindr. I got a little drunk and made a profile along with some bad decisions. My ex is currently several states away from me, but I kept checking to see if and when his profile would show up when I searched his area. Last night, it did. My heart sank. Not because he was looking for sex, but because it finally clicked that I wasn’t a part of his life. I sent him a text. “I miss you”. Then I sent him a grindr message “and I hope you find what you’re looking for”. That was 1 am. I woke up to a message saying that he missed me, too, and that we should talk tomorrow. Then I checked, and was subsequently blocked grindr. I cannot leave well enough alone. I heard The Temptations “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”, and whatthefuckinghell, that song hit way different this time. I’m not too proud. I did what no sane person should, I sent him another text. A full ass paragraph. I won’t post it here, but the gist was a full on double down. “I love you so much””We should have had so much more” and yes…”I still want to be with you”. I got a response about how he knew I was already on grindr. That means people talk. About me. To him. And now i’ve given him so much more to say. …I’m a grown ass man. How did this happen to me? 13 years went by so quickly, but each minute feels like eternity as I wait for answers. Learn from me. Closure may never happen. Mistakes most definitely will. And stop snooping. If anything substantial comes from this talk, and if anyone is interested, I will explain how easy it is to realize TIFU, only to make the same goddamn mistake again. Because I will do it again. TL;DR I sent multiple messages to my ex humiliating myself and turning me from a 30yo man to a tween girl👍 SmittyManJensen_: Lost a relationship of 11 years and I can tell you with confidence it will take a long ass time for you to stop feeling shitty and doing stupid things like this. Ok_Art_5765: I share your confidence. It will be a long, long time. Maybe i’ll find funny one day. SmittyManJensen_: You won’t, but you’ll come to terms with it lol

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1675091875

t3_10or3yr

t5_2to41

Buggyboy05: TIFU for getting revenge on my drivers Ed partner AITA for getting revenge on my drivers Ed partner I’m currently taking drivers Ed at school, and how it works is you’re paired up with a partner, and one partner drives and the other is in the back “observing”, and then we switch. Anyways, my partner, let’s call him EP (evil partner), sat behind me in the actual class, and would always pick on me, like kicking the back of my chair and whispering hateful comments into my ear, petty and annoying stuff like that. Anyways, when I found out we were going to be partners when we were taking the driving test, I was pissed, but EP was quite the opposite. We had one day of driving practice before the test, and he spread a rumor that I wet my pants a little because I was so nervous (this is obviously not true). This was extremely embarrassing, and I wanted to come up with a way to get back at him via a harmless “prank”, or whatever you want to call it. Then I had a great idea. On the day of the driving test, I went first, and I did pretty well,the instructor said I made a few mistakes, told me what I could work on, and then told me that I passed. Then, I switch seats with EP, and he takes the wheel. This is where my plan goes into action. Now, EP isn’t the most popular kid, so he doesn’t get to many notifications on his phone. He had it in his pocket, and I had assumed that it was on vibrate mode. So, I pulled my phone from my own pocket and started sending him a bunch of texts. However, instead of vibrating, they made a loud DING sound. I didn’t intend for this to happen, but it was even better this way. EP was clearly getting annoyed and distracted, and made numerous mistakes (nothing dangerous though; I would never try to put anyone in danger). Anyways, the instructor got so fed up that he told him to pull over and gave him a lecture about distracted driving and not having your phone on you while you’re driving. The instructor took the wheel and drove us back to school, and I was handed my permit, and per my knowledge, EP did not receive his. He was pissed at me, but hopefully he learned his lesson. I do feel kind of bad though, and want to know if you guys think I’m the asshole, or if EP deserved this. TLDR; my drivers Ed partner constantly terrorizes me so I cause him to mess up on his driving test. I get my permit and he does not vuphoria: wrong subreddit. r/amItheasshole WheelsMan1: It's perfect for r/pettyrevenge

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t3_10osqky

t5_2to41

Educational-Bit308: TIFU for accidentally getting my 9-year-old nephews drunk [removed] nightimefog: A Prime symptom of an intoxicated child?? Does this mean you have experience with this??? The prime symptom of an ADULT being drunk is stumbling. The prime symptom of a child being A CHILD is stumbling 😂 CrossXFir3: Time for a round of were you drunk or a kid nightimefog: r/childrenfallingover is a great place to start😂

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t3_10ost2s

t5_2to41

-1KingKRool-: TIFU by going behind my girlfriend’s back and getting a paternity test [removed] zakurie: Dude is trying to score internet points pretending to be the “friend” in this tifu: [https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ntye9/tifu_by_making_my_buddy_realize_his_daughter_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10ntye9/tifu_by_making_my_buddy_realize_his_daughter_is/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) Zito6694: Read the whole thing it’s a joke. zakurie: Oh, I did. Still doesn’t make it funny. WholeSilent8317: you read the whole thing and still thought he was pretending to be in the other story? work on your reading comprehension skills then come back. zakurie: Thank you sir. It’s pretty obvious that OP is joking, duh! They are still trying to take advantage of a real tifu to score internet points. r/Jokes would have been a better place for their attempt at humor.

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t3_107w355

t5_2to41

Littlebatgamess: Tifu by eating a spicy hotdog This happened a day ago and I'm still suffering from it ad a result. I was just bored late night and remembered I still had a hotdog from the previous night so I went and put some Chilli supplys upon it and warmed it up. Let me tell you it was divine but what happened in the morning was not. I had woken up and started getting ready to go to the gym and whilst in the midst of a shower I felt spawns of hell proceeding to began a all out brawl within my belly I turned off the shower and jumped straight on the toilet andwas there naked, praying to the whoever is out there to spare me me for another day. I had to get an Uber to be taken to the gym due to the amount of time I spent fighting for my life on the toilet I thought I'd never see my family again or they'd find me on toilet just barely alive. I don't know but death by dump isn't the way I planned on going out. I've lost a 1kg in a day due to that and I'm still suffering on the toilet as I type this out. As a result from that Chilli dog I've had to put my bulk on hold which quite sucks, I do not know when I'll be able to go to the gym again I'll be needing all the prayers I can get if I hope to overcome the posssed hotdog within me TL;DR : I ate a delicious hotdog which caused me to have to fight for my life upon a toilet seat naked nearly missing the gym escapendrun: Wtf did you put on ? Carolina reaper sauce? Littlebatgamess: It wad just a normal hotdog with Chilli sauce😭 escapendrun: You must be southern born bred white white Littlebatgamess: I love spicy stuff, this is a first time thing idk what was in that hotdog that i didn't know of 😭

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t3_107wkws

t5_2to41

[deleted]: TIFU by marketing my (now ex) girlfriends porn account on 4Chan, and in the process putting us in the crosshairs of every incel on the planet. [deleted] Bubbagumpredditor: You chose 4chan. You knew the risks. cal-brew-sharp: If you read the whole thing it was posted on reddit with same response. Bubbagumpredditor: Yes, but at least some reddit users are sane.

1675057666

1675108390

t3_10ou5n6

t5_2to41

Manfredini21: TIFU by punching a PC to fix it Obligtory NOT TODAY, probably 6 years ago, in class. People were passin around a school camera while my friend and I were trying to fix computer CD drive that got stuck outside, but it didn't got stuck randomly or because it was faulty, it was purposely stuck with a, let's say "hack". So after some thinking my friend held securely the PC with his hands while I panic punched the drive back in, but to no good, it was still out, so we basicly disasembled it and took the CD tray out (took it home, still have it) and put the lid back on, we thought it was a good idea since we have never used CDs in class, so no one would find out. In the following week we got called to the coordinator room, she called the tech guy that managed the cameras and pc's and he told that he was about to format the card when he saw a video with a thunbnail of a kid holding the pc and other kid charging a punch and yea, he obviously went to check the PC and to his surprise, it didn't had the CD tray. Needless to say, we got caught. Basicly they just told us to buy a new drive to replace the broken one. With this event me and my friend started to be more chill with both coordinator and tech guy but still a fuck up. TL;DR: Got a CD tray purposely stuck open and tried to punch it back in while the school camera was in the room. It was the thumbnail of the file. Andrewoholic: Next time, take the power source out. Disconnect from the motherboard. Place in a new Pc and it will close. ​ Luckily second hand CDroms and CDRW's are cheap. Manfredini21: The thing is, it was mechanically stuck, it wasn't a software problem, it was physically stuck outside. We actually bought a used one and it was fine for the tech guy

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1675099726

t3_10ou0m4

t5_2to41

Hehe_boi420: TIFU by beating a bully So for context I (16m) have always had fat and low self esteem issues. Due to these, I always stuck up with people that didn't really appreciate me and used me for their personal benefits. For some time now I have been doing excersise and running to slim up and get in shape. This has caused my confidence to grow back up and I refused to be used by my so called friends. They had been socially shunning me for sometime anyway so I didn't care much. In the school the ringleader of the bullies made a snide remark that I was getting conscious and started verbally abusing me. In my anger I made a remark about his teeth ( for context he had wanted to put braces but was afraid of the pain and yet he called me a puss ). He did not like that and started shoving me trying to start a fight and was getting aggressive. A teacher saw that and thought we were playing around. he tried faking a punch at me to make me flinch but I raised my hand instinctively and (very) lightly punched him on the nose. Though the punch was light his nose still did bleed a little and the school is holding me responsible. The consequences are that he has blown the incident out of proportion and told everyone I was being aggressive and punched him out of nowhere. The school has suspended me for 1 week and I am being shunned again by the children for different reasons. However I don't really care about these issues as I am in this school for a few more weeks and then my boards are taking place. His parents however are trying to make the school ban me from writing the boards and that is catastrophic. I have a meeting in school today afternoon and I am scared shitless. I will keep you guys updated if you want and just needed a place to vent. TL ; DR : I stand up to a bully and now risk being barred from my 10th grade finals. Alright guys update time :D Since the last time I saw the guy was in the meeting against parents. His parents firmly listened to their child and denied my accusations calling me a "future murderer" or "future criminal". However my parents supported me too and thankfully no lawyers were involved. The children have somewhat of a newfound respect for me. They do not engage with me jn any manner which is still better than being bullied by a million times. The guy I beat has tried to fight me multiple times since then but I simply move on and refuse to fight. He too is being teased by the classmates for getting beat up but idgaf at this point. Father has spoken to a teacher and I will be enrolling in my MMA classes in the beginning of April :). Unlike all the fight that happen in school ever so often, this one just isn't settling for some reason. The children refuse to forget the incident. Overall I came out a much better person from this incident and my respect for myself has skyrocketed. I can answer your questions in the comments regarding any further details so feel free to ask. Clementea: Your parents have to talk back against his parents, you have to explain it to your parents that it is self defense. If its blown out of proportions especially if its involved parents vs parents, school will eventually drop it out. Hehe_boi420: I have spoken to my parents and they believe me and have been extremely supportive as they know me and know I don't have a history of violence. My parents are appearing in the meeting today with me and I will keep the post updated. Squigglepig52: Good to hear. I got bullied a lot in high school, in the 80s. In those days, fighting wasn't as huge a deal, but, still, detention or suspension. And, our principal made the guy in the Breakfast Club seem tolerant and understanding. Anyway - I always fought back, always got the blame, always got the detention/suspension. And then, one day, I no longer got punished for fighting back. not even for teh ball peen hammer incident. Nearly 40 years later, I found out why. Dad had paid a visit to the principal, and threatened him with a beating the next time he blamed me for starting fights. Having your parents on your side is awesome, dude. Don't take shit from bullies. Hehe_boi420: Thanks such for the kind words and advice stranger 🥲 I always had a problem standing up for myself but am trying to improve now. You have one hell of a dad! I am happy that mine fought for me too today. He yelled at the principal for the first and only time and it was awesome. He has also agreed to get me enrolled in MMA classes too so that's an upside. Squigglepig52: Glad to hear it!

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kind-gladiator3487: TIFU by walking in on my parents doing the freaky and having my dad get mad at me for interrupting him I (21f) still live at home since I’m in college, so it’s just me and my parents. My very..expressive parents. Anyway, we have a sunroom off of the living room in our house where we keep our shoes and things. I was just enjoying my night, getting ready to go get food with a friend, when I heard a gasp from somewhere in the house. I know, I should have minded my own business but alas, I am a curious creature! I would totally be the first one to die in a horror film. I didn’t know where my parents were and the house was strangely quiet. It was already suspicious, but I had to finish my quest. I shouldn’t have. I walked into the sunroom to the wonderful sight of my parents going at it like a couple of teenagers, one of them being named randy. On the couch. That I sometimes sleep on. My mom yelled “don’t look!” Like I already hadn’t seen them trying to make me a sibling. I screamed sorry and quickly made my escape to think about my life choices. This morning when I saw my parents, my dad looked me in my optic nerves and said “ I can’t believe you interrupted us last night” like I meant to walk in on them! He’s been grumpy ever since, I feel a little bad Tl;dr I inadvertently walked in on my parents getting freaky and made my dad mad because I cockblocked him Edit- the gasp that I heard didn’t sound like a sex gasp, more like a surprised/ unhappy one 😂 so obviously I wasn’t expecting them to be getting down and that’s why I checked 😬 Automatic-Tax8075: Start fucking girls on the couch and see how he feels about it lol VortecK20: As soon as he gets his own house he should do that. Automatic-Tax8075: I dont think “my house my rules” applies to fucking in the living room…. VortecK20: It definitely does. Why would you allow anyone to have the power to decide what you do in your own home? Automatic-Tax8075: Because most parents have fucking common sense??? Most people want their kids to feel at home and don’t feel the need to constantly enforce a one sided power dynamic. Also most people don’t want their kids to know about their fucking??? You clearly shouldn’t have kids LMAO. VortecK20: I have kids. 2 and they're perfect. Hopefully they don't end up living at home as an adult and hopefully if they hear their mom moaning they don't go snooping around like a weirdo. You come off as a naive child that thinks you're owed something. They own the house and they get to do whatever they want in it. Maybe you'll be a homeowner one day and you'll understand. Automatic-Tax8075: If you are quick to remind them they don’t belong anywhere they wont ever actually love you I actually feel bad for you and your kids VortecK20: Meh, I don't value your opinion in anyway so that's ok. My kids belong wherever they want, hopefully they isn't mooching off their parents when they're adults. Automatic-Tax8075: You’re a redneck I couldn’t give any less of a fuck about your opinions LOL Go fuck your sister XD VortecK20: Lol cry some more why don't ya. Automatic-Tax8075: If i wanted to hurt your manhood like you really think i do. Id just kick your sister in the jaw LOL.

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[deleted]: Tifu by arguing at a party [removed] GeneralChillMen: My comment from the other thread > Oh your back. This guy has been doing these posts for at least a year and a half that I know of. He’s lost in basketball, pool, and arm wrestling that I can remember off the top of my head. It’s always some “men are better than women” bet that he loses, his punishment is always having to wear a dress, and usually asks if he should try backing out of the bet and/or asks people not to upvote so too many people don’t see it because_of_ghosts: You deserve this.

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QuirkyWizard: TIFU By telling my platonic friend I would date her TIFU by telling my platonic friend that I would date her given the opportunity. Let me preface this by saying no I do not hangout with her to get in her pants/ try and convince her of a relationship we have only ever been platonic and it's been that way for over 2 years. We've been each other's confidants when it comes to relationships and emotional problems that we are facing. She is literally one of my biggest support systems and I hope I can provide just as much support to her when she needs it. Anyways on the fuck up. I gave her a ride home from the mall, on the ride we started talking about past sexual experiences and partners and why we had our "hoe phases" and how we've both had crappy relationships (which is actually the reason I know her she was friends with my ex wife). Anyways half way to her house she mentions that she still isn't done exploring, and here's where the f up begins because of course I had to be dumb. I flat out told her the only reason I haven't asked to take things to a sexual or romantic place is because she asked to keep our relationship platonic and I wanted to respect that decision and boundary. Which she reaffirmed she wanted to keep things platonic. Now here's where I've been fucking up for 2 years. When her and I go out to dinner or get our nails done or generally hangout I have a bad habit of paying for everything, because I know the crap she's been through with bad boyfriends and I know she sees herself as lesser even though she's one of the most intelligent, funny and beautiful women I've ever met like ture inner and outer beauty and I feel like she deserves to be treated with luxury once in a while and she needs to be reminded of her self worth. She's offered to split 50/50 numerous times, even pay for my half but I've always declined. She pointed out that this is the "nice guy" method the only difference being I've never asked for sex or a relationship or gotten upset at the fact I haven't received either, and that she would only have a problem with it if I had an ulterior motive. I assured her that I have no ulterior motive which she told me she believes and told her if it would make her more comfortable we could go 50/50 from now on when we go out but that I wouldn't lie, the things she's told me she's looking for in a relationship are things I'm looking to provide in a relationship and that I wouldn't exactly mind if things progressed in that direction which was the biggest fuck up. It's not like I was professing my undying devotion and love to her or anything, I admire her as a person and could see myself in a relationship with her and I feel I would be remiss if I didn't say anything so I said it . She told me she wasn't ready to date even though I know for a fact she's been trying, hence the nice dinners and nail appointment to cheer her up because boy trouble, which I have done my best to console her and give advice. I'm really worried that I might have jeopardized/ damaged a friendship that I value highly. I'm supposed to see her in 2 days and I definitely will be apologizing profusely. I'm really hoping that's going to be enough to get rid of the awkwardness. If not, I'll just go bury my head in a snow bank and leave it there. TLDR: Told my platonic friend I could see myself dating her, knowing she wants to keep things platonic. She responded by telling me she's not ready to date even though she's actively trying. ****UPDATE**** I don't know how I would even make an official update so I'm just adding it to this post. So we met today and hung out for a bit, I explained to her why i feel the need to pay for things and told her it was something I need to work on and she agreed, and stated we both have things to work on. She also told me she would help me work on it by absolutely refusing to let me pay for 100% of things and we did some shopping where she paid for her own stuff. All in all the friendship is still intact, we had some laughs about the awkwardness and other stuff and she said me seeing her as a potential partner would only upset her if that was the only reason I was hanging around and followed up with "I believe you're genuine and value our friendship as much as I do and I don't believe that's the reason you've stuck around". It was a good day I feel much better about the situation. Thank you to everyone for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate all of your advice and feedback you guys are awesome!!! Maybe I'll post an official update if I can figure out how 😅 cosmernaut420: The least fucked-up fuck up I've ever read. Why would she be upset by a hypothetical conversation you've *literally* never tried to capitalize on the entire time you've known her? QuirkyWizard: Hi thank you for reading!! I don't think she was upset I think I just made her feel awkward. We have been spending a lot of time together recently going for lunch and having dinners so maybe she assumes I've caught feelings 🤷. ImperceptibleFerret: You’ve definitely caught feelings, or have had them for a long time judging by your post. Paying for almost everything for two years in a purely platonic friendship (barring extreme income disparity) is more than a little unusual. QuirkyWizard: Hi thank you for reading and your input!! True it is a bit unusual, when we first started hanging out we were both fresh out of shitty relationships so I think paying for things was my way of still feeling valuable to someone, it's just something that never phased out I guess, but it's mostly small things like coffee/breakfast/lunch things under 40$ but lately it's been rather expensive in an effort to cheer her up 😅. It is possible I may have feelings on a small scale I do love her as a friend no question, we do rely on each other for emotional support quite often when I have guy/girl troubles and she's having guy troubles, even non relationship troubles. So I think there's a part of my brain/heart that recognizes that she would be a good partner. Maybe I should take a step back for a while, figure things out on my own ImperceptibleFerret: Don't beat yourself up, I think you were clear about your meaning and you certainly haven't been difficult about things at all. Best of luck. QuirkyWizard: Thank you so much!! Ill do my best to fight the urge to bury my head in a snow bank lol

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AnxiousManxious09: TIFU by looking up reviews for my new job on job sites. I was excited and nervous about the job. It's my first job since graduating college a few months ago. It's a medical assistant job for a big company. I'm starting training this week. I wanted to know more about the job from the workers perspective. I found out that this company has a high turnover rate. The pay isn't enough for the amount of work that I'll be doing. I found out that I'm going to be working more than 40 hrs week from the comments. The hiring manager told me in the interview that a few of the medical assistants have left due to personal reasons. That rang alarm bells but I pushed it to the side. Now these reviews are proving what I suspected to be true. One said that the environment wasn't great where they worked, that their coworkers pushed them out, made their time working there hell because they weren't part of the cliche. They quiet soon after. I made a plan to suck it up and work for six months and leave. I don't care how that'll make me look. I searched for months for a job and now I'm fearful that I've made the wrong decision. I guess today's training session will help me make a clearer decision. Tl;dr: I looked up job site reviews for the company I'm going to work for today. I'm questioning my decision on whether to stay or leave. hanbnanAU: Do the training but keep looking - you don’t owe them anything and if they didn’t like your work for whatever reason, they’d have no problem letting you go during your probation so don’t feel badly if you get another offer that doesn’t give you the heeby jeebys like this place!! AnxiousManxious09: Yep. I think that's what I'm going to do. They're making me go to two different locations a week. I live far from these places. The recruiter for the company has told me that past medical assistants have had issues with being floaters months down the line. I mean I would too if I has to drive almost an hour every week to a different clinic. From what I read they barely reimburse you for the travel. I'm trying my best not to be negative about this. But it's hard becuse I see red flags everywhere. But I need this money no matter how very small it is to help out at home. I think I should have waited before accepting the first offer I got. Desperation can make you do dumb things. hanbnanAU: You can attempt to avoid the negativity with ‘I’m glad I’ve got this gig until I find somewhere that treats their employees well’ or you can use the negativity to fuel your search. You’ll find the right place.

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Savage_Bacon: TIFU By getting to know my neighbor too well 2022 was a rough year for me so when I ran into my next door neighbor and she invited me out for a day trip I thought "A real connection, Sounds great!" anyway the day trip goes fine the only thing I really notice is that she pretty much non stop talks about herself no matter what. Something that ground my gears is that she told me the story of how annoyed she got when her pay at work got docked for being late. She hyped it up, Said "They took so much money from me!" and when I asked so much money she said $50 dollars and listed all the stuff her workplace was depriving her of (Note: We work the same job and get paid about the same and $50 bucks being docked is nothing) Anyway so figured it wasn't a big deal so when she invited me over that night to talk and that I thought "Yeah ok" Anyway we talk about some pleasant things. Books we like to read, Movies and TV shows we've watched. But the conversation always drifts back to her and her problems. She moves onto her idea that she's ugly and not beautiful. After she said this I heard the echo of her saying that more than a couple of times earlier in the day. I told her I thought she was rather pretty and she just brushed that off and started talking about how annoying her family is. I come from a family that has been split apart for as long as I remember. She came from a stable, loving family and holy crap Its like she hates them. She tells me that the only time she wants her parents to call is if her dog dies back home. She then gleefully recounts all the good times she had with her dog as a kid. A dog that her mother bought for her and even took her to pick up. At this point I had a bit of a pit in my stomach because I was starting to realize what type of person she was (And the type of person I had pretty much invited into my life). She was self centered, unconfident, arrogant and spiteful. It just kind of sucks. Everytime I ever talked to her It was always pleasant, She was always just nice I guess but now I've seen what's below all that and It really is an ugly person. Anyway the fuck up is that I don't want to really be near Her after that and yet we're neighbors so she probably expects a friendship now. TLDR: Got to know my nice neighbor only to find they are actually an incredibly selfish, spiteful person who now most likely thinks we're good friends. LipstickRevenge: We've all been there. You're just really busy from now on. Savage_Bacon: Sounds like the way forward to me

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putnamto: TIFU by listening to a song that was the last thing one of my best freinds sent to me. around five years ago one of my best freinds(like a brother) moved out of town with a woman, i didnt think much of it, he seemed like he was enjoying himself, he had a good job, got to move all around the country. then cut to 2-3 years ago, he started being depressed, talking about how his life was a mess, how he screwed up, and how this girl was the worst thing that happened to him. he would go completely absent for months on end, then suddenly come back to facebook and post some horribly depressing things, then dissapear again. me, his brothers, and all the people that loved him here started telling him to just leave, come home, we will take care of you till you get on your feet again, but he wouldnt listen to any of it. he started sending me incomplete, or incoherent thoughts on facebook, getting upset with him ignoring all of our helping hands i told him off. a few days later he sent me a link to a song i replied with "stop sending me this \*\*\*\*" and blocked him. some time goes by, and a month ago i heard that his girlfreind had tried to talk him into suicide with her, she tried and failed, he "chickened out" then here comes christmas, me and my family are all opening our gifts, having our dinner, etc. when i get a call from my brother.........he had committed suicide along with his girlfriend, his parents handn't heard from him in months so they sent a wellness check on christmas and the cops found him and his girl dead of apparent drug overdose in his hotel room. im so emotionally messed up right now, and this is the only place i can think to post this, he was their for me so many times when i was at my lowest in life, he helped bring me back up, and the best i could do when he needed me was to tell him to buzz off, stop sending me garbage, and block him. i feel so bad about this, i unblocked him and scrolled through our last convorsation, and finnally listened to the song that he had sent me, it was "save me - jelly roll" and now im crying. i responded to the message with "im so sorry" i cant get past this feeling that he was legitimately reaching out for help and i was to frustrated/angry/stupid to help him. TL;DR - best freind during childhood/teen/young adult years dissapears, gets depressed, commits suicide, i F'ed up by finnally listening to the last thing he sent me, and now im crying. fonebone819: I'm so sorry.... don't beat yourself up over this. Sounds like you were trying to reach out for a long time before that. Some people can't be helped. BTW, I was OK until I saw the song. Love JellyRoll... 😪 putnamto: so was i, until i listened to the song, then replied with "im so sorry" in our text and then it hit me, he will never be able to reply. allkittyy: My friend was killed in a mass shooting. Shot in the head at a bar on college night. There was no last message or chance to save her. There was no changing things. But I could have been there with her that night. I could have talked with her that Sunday and asked to meet up with her. She went every Thursday. She loved that bar and that monster took her life there. No matter how many times I text her that I miss her, she will never respond. As painful as it is, and as much as we want to change things, they played out the way they did. There's no taking back death. It wasn't your fault and you can't hold onto the song thinking of it as anything more than your last message. If it was a cry for help, it wasn't one he was willing to act on. You tried helping. You tried offering help. If he was reaching out for help without being willing to accept the help that comes from it, he was being selfish. That wasn't you. Just like I couldn't have known what would happen that week. It wasn't my fault I was home safe while she lost her life. What you can do? NEVER forget them. NEVER let the memory of your time together fade. NEVER let time warp the time you spent with him. Never let his name be just another name lost to suicide. I have Noel Sparks tattooed on my chest. I'll never forget her. You don't have to do something so dramatic, but that shirt he bought you, you can frame. Or that pet rock he gave you, can sit in your kitchen window. You decide what it means to remember him and you do it. Do it so that every day you remember him. Life gets easier as the years go on, but forgetting they exist is as bad as killing them yourself in my eyes.

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Optimal-Judgment-751: TIFU Hot Cocoa for my amazing Wife or (not) This is a true story from 2017 when I was first married to my wife we just started to live together. She wrote a blog about it when it happened, and I just found it had a good laugh and thought I should shear with you all. This story will be told from my point of view. ​ I stumble awake after a frustrating sleep I move from the bedroom to the kitchen. I head to the cupboard and pull out the cocoa box. I take it to the bench with the jug on it, fill the jug and turn it on. A moment passes as I close my eyes and the jug squeals boiled. I open the freezer, taking bread out and put it in the toaster. As bread it cooks I take a mug to the jug and spoon some cocoa in, mixing hot water in afterwards then adding a little bit of milk. Watching the silkie brown swirl with the milk I feel happy as I thought to myself ‘My wife will love this surprise’. The toast pops up. I retrieve and honey added a thick offering to the toast. I pick up the toast. I now plate the meal look ‘It may be one toast with honey but to my wife in the morning that’s as filling as a kings feast.’ The toast is put on the plate as I yawn my tiredness catching up to me my long days studying statistics and night/maybe nights of playing ark survival not he brightest idea I have had. Honey on the toast, Milk in the mug. I cut the toast in half, easier to eat that way. I pick up the plate with one hand and the mug in the other. Looking back at the bench I decide to clean it up later. It’s morning, the only time my wife won’t notice and I’m shore she will be so happy I will have time to tiddy it up later. I walk back to the bedroom, nearly falling on the rug. But I’m a expert ninja so only make enough noise to wake the dead. My wife has her eyebrow raised as I enter the room – she heard my ninja skills. I smile as I give her breakfast in bed. I wait for her praise. But she looks taken aback after she sips the hot cocoa I laboured over. “Is this hot cocoa?” She looks doubtful. “Yes. What else could it be?” She takes another sip and shakes her head, disgusted. I am appalled after all I got up early to make her breakfast in bed. ‘Just ungrateful and picky I though ‘and a bit saddened by that thought. She gets up. I head to the kitchen first and pick up the cocoa box. “Oh…no” I sigh. As we both now stare at this cocoa box its name clearly showing Coles traditional gravy. ‘that sight on her face as she tried the drink echoed in my mind and her response started to make more sense..’ I thought. “Well, it woke you up. I’ve never seen you more awake than you are now. “I said trying to joke at this bizarre situation. A smile was across my wife’s face probably wondering how she got so lucky in marrying such an observant husband. “I put the cocoa in a jar on the tea shelf. So you wouldn’t be able to mix up the cocoa box with the gravy.” My wife opened the jar on the tea shelf still laughing. For some background for those not in Australia the gravy and the cocoa we had was both Coles brand and in boxes the same colour and shape. “Well. That didn’t work.” So that was not the first time I made my amazing wife breakfast in bed but since then I swear her first sips of her drinks are very small the days of those trusting long sips are gone. We have been happily married 5 years and going strong I am happy to report I have learnt from my error and now stick to making my amazing wife coffee in the morning after all no need to risk the gravy incident again. I hope you liked the story as much as I have enjoyed righting this To answer the question that you may have no I have not made my wife a hot cocoa since I have offered but she has insisted on making it herself when she wants one. I can’t blame her as the last one I gave her would have tasted not amazing. TL;DR. I thought i made my wife hot cocoa but ended up making her a hot gravey drink. bros402: I totally read "This is a true story from 2017 when I was first married to my wife" as "This is a true story from 2017 when I was married to my first wife" I was thinking this hot cocoa destroyed your marriage Optimal-Judgment-751: I am lucky to have survived the hot cocoa just lucky my wife has a sense of humour Dgchasse1: Funny as hell man! I was totally caught up waiting for the breakup but I really think this little story gave me some hope in a current situation. So thank you. Glad you got some enjoyment out of it! Optimal-Judgment-751: I'm glad you enjoyed it mate sometimes all we can do is laugh at ourselves I'm just lucky I give myself plenty of source material. And all I can say is I hope your situation improves

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dresserfuloftreasure: TIFU by laying my head down in front of my friend. TIFU by laying my head down in front of my friend. So my best friend(m 18) of six years and me(nonbinary 18) were hanging out today for his birthday. To be honest we haven’t hung out much in person, outside of class or work, because we mostly just chill on discord. We’ve only recently been able to hang out together one on one, since he just got out of a 4 year long relationship with someone that would have been upset by it. Today it was his birthday and I wanted to hang out with him to just chill for a bit. We got some food and just hung out in my car for hours(because there’s nothing to do in town and our houses are both too chaotic for decent conversation). This guy is someone that I rarely get tired from talking to, unlike most people, but I hadn’t slept much last night so I was pretty tired. We had been talking for a long time, and I genuinely felt like I was gonna fall asleep. This is where I fucked up. I put my forehead on my center console. Without thinking my friend started playing with my hair. At first it was just absent minded, but eventually he started goofing around and parting my hair in silly ways. I don’t know why this freaked me out. We’ve flirted with each other as a joke for YEARS. It’s never been anything more than that before today. And it’s not like him touching me is a new thing either. We’re both fairly physical with each other all the time(leaning on each other or grabbing onto each other), but I guess I hadn’t realized just how touch starved I’ve became since I started taking online classes. My heart rate skyrocketed, so to make a distraction I lifted up my head and shook my hair in his face as a joke. We joked about me messing up his hard work before I put my head back down. He then whispered, “God, if you wanted me to play with your hair more you should just ask.” I honestly froze for a while and he just continued messing with my hair. Eventually, I picked up my head and sarcastically said that he should “buy me a drink before he tries to make me fall in love” with him, to point out the obvious nature of the situation. He just laughed at me and said something along the lines of “we established a long time ago that you love me” (which is a long standing joke of ours about how we never directly say we love each other.) Nothing changed afterwards. It wasn’t awkward or weird. We just continued on as if nothing happened, yet I can’t get it out of my head. Six years of this, and yet somehow I’ve caught feelings after one small gesture. It was also made worse by the rest of our usual flirty comments the rest of the night. At one point I was inches from his face because of a joke we we’re making. He only noticed something weird was up when I hesitated instead of doubling down like I normally do. I guess I was still distracted by what happened earlier. Either way he called me out for acting “tame” and said I really must have been tired. I barely catch feelings for men and yet I’m standing here, dazed and hating my own heart. The worst part is, I know he probably doesn’t feel the same. Even if he did, it wouldn’t matter. He just got out of a long relationship a couple months ago, and definitely doesn’t want another any time soon. This whole thing probably means nothing to him and now I’m overthinking. I just want to get rid of these thoughts so I don’t ruin the best thing that has ever happened to me. TLDR: I laid my head down and let my best friend play with my hair, now I’ve caught feelings and am rethinking my six year long friendship. iamanerdybastard: I fail to see where this is a FU. Sounds like you have the potential for more than friendship, should you choose to explore it. The FU would be either a) Going for it and your friendship being ruined, or b) Not going for it and missing out on something good. Would you rather love and lose, or never love? dresserfuloftreasure: I’m way too terrified of scenario a

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JustSpeaker208: TIFU by wearing a T-shirt to a restaurant I'm writing this hours after it happened and after laughing about the situation to my parents. But I still wanted to share it through here for your entertainment 😂 I (21F) was out with my guy friend, let's call him Dave (22M, almost 23), treating ourseleves to a shopping spree as a birthday celebration (his birthday is tomorrow). His mom texted him while we were out and told her what he was doing and who was with him and asked me if i wanted to come to his birthday dinner with him, his mom and his uncle. Since I had no other plans other than staying home with my parents, i decided to go! While we were at the mall, i tried to look for tops more nice as i was informed that i might want to change shirts. i was wearing a cropped sweater and tried to look for nicer blouses and such, but nothing stood out. Plus, i wanted to treat myself still to clothes i actually like and wear. In the end, i got to graphic t-shirts i liked, and after i purchased them, I and dave headed to his mom's. Once we got to his mom's, i changed my top to one of the shirts I bought (it was an oversized purple graphic tee) and asked dave if he thinks this would be okay to wear based on where we were going. He said "yeah you should be fine. dont worry." and considering he was also wearing a new t-shirt he got from our shopping trip and describes the restaurant as a steakhouse, i decided not to worry. His uncle drove to the restaurant and once we get there, i knew instantly that i had fucked up. Saying this place was fancy is an understatement, and me wearing a t-shirt made me feel even more overwhelmed than i already was. Compared to how others were dressed, i felt like i looked like a homelese person. Luckily, his uncle guided me through the menu, which was like 5 courses, and I picked the items i knew i would be the most comfortable eating since there were things on the menu i know are pricey and didnt want to raise the bill more and food items that i have only heard about in movies where they treat a loved one to a fancy restaurant. I did make the best of it by talking to Dave and his family and even tucked in my shirt to make it look more nice. Dave kept joking "oh do you feel anxious for how underdressed you feel?" and i laughed saying "you had to remind me just as soon as i forgot. well, at least i did makeup today, so...i look nice on that end" which got a laugh from the whole table. Dinner was indeed fantastic, and i did have a good time with Dave and his family. But note to self: DONT TAKE FASHION TIPS FROM DAVE (love the guy, but man, did i wish i stayed in my sweater😂) and i will now pack an extra outfit in case something like this happens again! TL;DR TIFU by changing my shirt for my friend's birthday dinner MrMisties: So is Dave in the friendzone or is he actually chill JustSpeaker208: i just had someone ask me this through PM, and with that I'll tell you through here too that Dave and I are casually seeing each other (aka a situationship). we've been friends for 4 years and have had on and off feelings for each other for a while too. We officially flipped the switch in May of 2022, and we are happy with how we are doing things considering our busy schedules! hope this clears some stuff up 😊😆 MrMisties: Yeah it does, thank you and have a good one JustSpeaker208: you too 😉😁

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[deleted]: TIFU by almost killing myself Obligatory this happened yesterday So yesterday me and my family got into a huge fight, I got mad and left, deciding to go "truck" camping to get away from my families BS. The only thing with camping this time of year is it's really cold, which is fine because I recently purchased and installed a Chinese diesel heater in my truck for such shenanigans. For those unfamiliar, a diesel heater produces heat by burning diesel, the heater has its own exhaust that you run to the outside of the cab. (Which I did) So I, still in a rage about arguing with my family drive 2+ hours away into the middle of a national forest, I find a logging trail and take my truck up it a couple miles until I am absolutely in the middle of bfe nowhere surrounded by nothing but trees. It gets dark and I decide to turn in for the night, I fire up the heater then proceed to fall asleep in my truck. As I'm drifting off, I hear this loud metal "ting" noise... In my half asleep state a chalk it up to a twig or something falling into my truck and think nothing of it. Fast forward to a couple hours later, I'm woken up to the sound of my carbon monoxide alarm going off, only I'm not really awake, it's like I'm paralyzed in a tunnel far away from the noise and reality all together. In this state, I had the thought of "fuck it, just go back to sleep" luckily that smooth brain thought didn't get acted on. I decide to try and get up, I could barely move. It took everything in me to lift up my arm and open up my back door to my truck. I fall out of my truck into a puddle of muddy slush, gasping for air in-between throwing up all over the place (mostly myself and my sleeping bag) I laid there in the mud for probably a good hour breathing like I just ran a marathon. My head feeling like It's getting smashed by sledge hammers. Eventually I gather myself up, pack up my shit and go back into civilization, today I go back out to my truck to figure out where the leak was. Turns out that loud metal "ting" noise I heard, was the sound of my heaters exhaust pipe cracking. There was a 2 inch long crack a half inch wide in my exhaust. TL;DR I almost accidentally gave myself carbon monoxide poisoning because I bought a cheap diesel heater from China and it's cheap Chinese steel broke on me after using it only 3 times. ALWAYS bring a carbon monoxide detector when sleeping around any type of combustible heat source. I almost didn't even buy it when I got the heater cause I figured "hey it has an exhaust that goes outside! It's perfectly safe!!" GlenJman: I don't think you almost gave yourself carbon-monoxide poisoning, you definitely did give yourself carbon-monoxide poisoning 😂 Maybe getting checked out by a doctor is in order, that sounds like a really close call. [deleted]: This was almost 24 hours ago at this point. If I die a whole day later, I might deserve it. [deleted]: Buddy, delayed carbon monoxide poisoning is a real danger, if you got to the point of paralysis you should seek medical help. If you can't afford it or don't have health insurance go buy one of those oxygen canisters.... You are ironically one of the few people it might help. [deleted]: I actually bought an oxygen container at Lowe's last night and huffed that bad boy down. Feeling a lot better today. Still not going to the Dr, don't feel like getting charged $400 to be called a dumb ass. [deleted]: It's not about being called a dumb ass, mistakes happen all the time.. Don't see NASA not picking up every fragment of a rocket failure until they find the exact o-ring that perished and replacing all its ilk out if fear of "being called a dumb ass" do you? However 100% oxygen is the treatment for CO poisoning, hyperbaric chamber if really bad, but at this point 36 hours post exposure hopefully just pure O2 will suffice (and save you some dollars) 4-5 hours of 100% O2 should be enough, however... I must warn you: You have suffered a near fatal injury... That you survived does not mean you have not come away unscarred. You really should be assessed for cerebral odema, have your troponin levels checked, Risk of cardiac incidents over the next 10 years can be significantly raised and you really should get an EKG and your troponin levels checked. Do not "Man up" this one. It's really... Really fucking dangerous to be self treating this. But I can't make you go to the doctor, and if you die you wont post a message post expiry to tell me. If you have kids, check your life insurance is up to date. You might be fine, you might have permenant brain damage, you might be 6 months from a heart attack now... Good luck my guy, I hope you survive. [deleted]: Just googled cerebral odema... Ok bro, you convinced me, going to the ER now just in case. Honestly I was exaggerating, I have really good insurance and only have a $50 ER copay. Definitely worth it just in case... [deleted]: Glad you're taking it seriously. I hope it's a wasted $50 copay. [deleted]: It was indeed a wasted copay but it's the same as buying the C0 detector, rather be safe than sorry (or dead) [deleted]: Damn Skippy... Now go that exhaust fixed and next time put the CO monitor closer to it so you get a warning sooner 

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vhm3: TIFU by taking my cats to the vet after finding a bump I have two eight year old male cats. I was playing with one of my cats and noticed a new bump I've never seen before by his stomach. I thought it was something stuck on him as it was protruding and I couldn't get it off. These are the only cats I've ever had and I've no experience with ticks or anything of that nature so I got concerned. I go to check my other cat in the same areas and I found a similar bump that I couldn't get a close look at. I panicked and called the vet and he told me to bring them in. Now I'm short on money so I had to scrape together hundreds of dollars and rush them to the vet to get looked at. They're vet anxious so I first needed to pick up some medication then give it to them then take them a few hours later. We do the whole process and get them in the crates and eventually get them to the vet. I finally take them inside and I'm trying to show the vet and vet tech where the bumps are. After a little searching I find it and point it out. All of a sudden the vet and vet tech start laughing hysterically. Turns out I had found my cats' nipples. The vet took some pity on me and gave a discount for this very important lesson: male cats also have nipples. TL;DR: found bump on both my cats' stomach and rushed them to the vet to get checked. The bumps were nipples. WoodpeckerSignal9947: Vet tech here. Happens way more often than you think, and is always a great laugh when it happens! vhm3: Hahaha thank you that makes me feel infinitely less dumb. WoodpeckerSignal9947: Any time! Also worth noting in case anyone here doesn’t know: female dogs get periods if they’re left unspayed. It’s not fun No_Love_1353: Female cats “periods” are even worse… Fellsans2019: Never knew that. Happy cake day btw! LadyBug_0570: I think that's when they start clawing at the doors and windows and yowling the song of their people. Fellsans2019: Ah, the banshee scream of a horny cat. LadyBug_0570: Fortunately I don't have a female cat and haven't heard it. But when I got my male cat, at least slutty street cat was slinking by my window and trying it. I told those skank to get lost, that my baby is innocent and it ain't gonna happen an to take her whore-song elsewhere. apworker37: He may innocent now but he’ll grow real fast if he makes his way outside when she sings her “love song”. Will you be paying his kittensupport? LadyBug_0570: Hell no. She can't prove my cat's her baby daddy. Them kittens look nothing like him! She better go on Maury to find the tomcat that knocked her up! Also, I got him snipped years ago. Now he's not even tempted to go outside.

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jaysan666: TIFU and got myself uninvited to a concert This happened over new years while the concert is in a few days time and I'm just realising how bad I've messed up. (Also on mobile so sorry for any formatting issues) Me - 35 M single Friend - 27 F not single So me and my friend are into the same genre of music - its how we met in the first place a few years ago (both traveling solo to a festival and struck up a conversation). We keep in touch every now and then and if we happen to be going to the festival at the same time we'll make a point of meeting up to catch up face-to-face and enjoy the music with other festival friends Anyway she messages me a few months ago asking if I'd be interested in joining her in October to go see a group I've heard of but don't listen to as they are playing in a city near me and she got a free ticket. Her partner won't be able to make it due to work and I'm the only person she knows in the area that's into this kinda music. I said sure as I like to expand my music tastes and love seeing new groups (should point out here that I used to love going to concerts on my own but since the Pandemic I haven't been to one for a very long time and am kinda missing them but due to money restraints I've found myself opting out of seeing bands I'd love to see). October comes around and due to unforseen circumstances the group has to reschedule to January. I ask if she still wants me to come along or if her girlfriend will be joining her in January instead (which I didn't mind at all - Partners before W*nkers haha). She said I was still invited as her girlfriend still wasn't going to go as she didn't want to use up her holidays for a midweek gig. They live a couple hours away and my friend was just gunna book a hotel and stay the night. I said sweet and all was good. Xmas comes around and me and my friend message each other wishing the usual holiday pleasantries, when she asks if I'm still OK for the concert. I said I am looking forward to it as it'll be my first concert in a long time and I've been listening to the groups back catalogue on Spotify. AAANNDD this is where I f' up. New Years Eve while I've been drinking getting ready to welcome in the new year I mention I've recently joined a Facebook singles and dating group whose members are into the same genre of music and usually post on said group about going to see bands and asking if people want to meet up (not necessarily as dates more like a bunch of solos meeting up and having a good time listening to live music together). I told my friend I'm really nervous about introducing myself on said group but I plan to do it in the new year and if she's willing I could see if people wanted to meet up before the concert just to socialise. I wasn't trying to hijack this event and turn it into me finding a date or anything. More the fact I was looking to make some new friends for myself and my friend so if ever this situation happened again I.e. she got another spare ticket to a concert but I was unable to go maybe if she made some more friends in this area she could ask one of them. That's what was going through my drunk head. I said if she didn't feel comfortable with that then I won't say anything about the concert and I'll just introduce myself instead. Following on from her replies she said she didn't mind I wanted to meet with friends before hand and then meet her later at the concert. To me that means she was uncomfortable about the situation so I just let it go and didn't push it further. I thought all was good and wished her a happy new year and continued with my partying. A few days later I get a message saying she thinks it's best I not go with her to this concert. I'm abit surprised by this but I don't push it as it's her ticket she's free to uninvite whoever she wants. I ask if I did/said something to upset her and if I did I apologise and I hope she has a great time at the concert. She doesn't get back to me and now I don't know whether to push for an explanation or not. Tl;Dr: got invited to a concert, mentioned I had joined a singles group and was thinking of posting on said group to meet up with other people interested in same genre of music, got uninvited to concert P.s. I never did introduce myself on the singles/dating group. I've always had low confidence and self-esteem issues so didn't feel like now was the best time to look for a relationship. fonebone819: I don't think you f-ed up. Since you've asked if anything was wrong and she said no (sounds like multiple times), it's on her. Maybe she did feel hurt about it, but its not like you are dating. And you didn't post about it anyway. Not sure what her issue is, but at this point, it sounds like she got her panties in a bunch over a trivial thing. Maybe wait until after the concert and reach out again if you want, but be prepared for her to maybe ghost you? Or maybe she'll explain after she cools off? 🤔🤷‍♂️ jaysan666: I feel like I fucked up because I'm no longer going to the concert and have missed going to such things for the past 2 ½ years. I am planning on reaching out and hopefully can meet my friend before she has to journey home the next day so we can talk n have a catch up.

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[deleted]: TIFU by masturbating to my wife's photo [removed] FilmAdministrative44: "im not a weak man who can't go for a few months without sex." I'll be honest with you, if you masturbated, this should classify as not having been able to endure it. I-Passed6789: Looking at the amount of men who cheat on their wives, masturbation is nothing. FilmAdministrative44: i think o came off on the wrong foot here, im not sayong what he did was a bad thing, god no. What im trying to say is that what he said is a really tiny bit hypocritical. I-Passed6789: How is it hypocritical? FilmAdministrative44: because he couldn't entirely contain his intimate desires. I-Passed6789: It would make him a hypocrite if he actually started cheating. Masturbating is a sexual act but it is not the same as sex. He wasn't being hypocritical. FilmAdministrative44: my comment isnt about cheating, anon.

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Shadow_King_305: TIFU by drinking 2 coffees Today (yesterday but I still count it as today because I haven’t slept yet) I bought 2 coffees, 1 for me and 1 for my shift manager. I have the chance of getting 1 of 2 shift managers. 1 being Female who doesn’t like coffee, and the other being male who drinks coffee. I ended up working with my female manager today. Can’t let good coffee go to waste so I decided to drink em both. I finished my tasks pretty fast since the day was pretty slow for me and I was caffeine high zipping through the isles. I came home, played some games and got a lil tired around 12. I think the second coffee just kicked in because I can’t sleep a wink even though I have my fan on me full blast, ac on, dark room, listening to Reddit stories eyes closed (typically how I sleep). TL;DR I can’t sleep while I’m under superb sleeping conditions because I drank 2 coffees. marjaneva: I cant sleep if i drink coffee anywhere after 5-6 pm. I usually drink 1-2 coffees a day so im pretty weak as well. I started taking melatonin occasionally when i know I’ll have a night like this, it seems to work so far Shadow_King_305: I’m curious, what coffee do you usually drink? When I was in school I’d drink large iced coffees from Dunkin’, then later in my school years Starbucks Vente iced coffees or a nitro (tall) and they didn’t really do much. Ever since I started working here I’ve been drinking Coladas from this Hispanic Bakery next to my job marjaneva: I usually grind my own coffee beans at home, im in the Netherlands and use a Dutch brand called [Roots](https://www.rootscoffee.nl/en/our-mission). And ive been drinking this type of coffee for the past few years and I have to say it’s pretty strong so one cup in the morning does the job. But yes i have to agree that coffee from the places you have mentioned barely does anything to me too. LeftVeterinarian9987: In Miami, I grow my own coffee, ferment it, dry it, and roast my own beans. I have officially one-upped you, internet stranger! 😉 In all seriousness, my tree used to give me about 2 weeks of coffee. Then a contractor killed it inadvertently... Sadly, the tree was called Kenny... marjaneva: Ah wow! That’s awesome, I would like to do that one day too, when I have some small land to make my farm dreams come true! LeftVeterinarian9987: Like many trees, coffee trees like dry feet, so plant it on a slope if possible, or plant it atop a sturdy mound. At the very least make sure it has plenty of drainage. Same goes for figs and papaya.

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heavymetalmater: TIFU by clicking on an askreddit thread TIFU by clicking on an askreddit thread I'm sure I'm not the only person who made this mistake today... I was perfectly happy living my life having repressed so many fucked up things I've read. Until today when my dumbass, wtf is wrong with me, why do I participate in self torture, self decided to click on "what is the most fucked up thing that happened on reddit". I click on it thinking it's going to be fun, stories that are so outrageous and hilarious they become the stuff of reddit legend, like poopknife. I was eagerly hoping to laugh my ass off while, hopefully, reading hilarious tales I've not heard before. Sadly I was mistaken. I just wish I could now go back to being the happy, ignorant person I was an hour ago... Alas, I cannot. I can never go back... Suddenly, while reading everyone's replies, it all came flooding back. I feel violated and retraumatized. So fuck all yall and here's my list of all the fucked up shit you people made me remember. (In no particular order, and I will not be linking any of this shit) Enjoy. Swamps of dagobah Jolly rancher boy Cumbox Coconut (both are fucked up) jasoninhell Boston marathon Heroin guy Aimee challenor Poop fetish guy And worst of all worthless319 TL:DR I read the post where everyone compiled the worst of reddit in to one horrible thread and I'll never recover. MatrixGodfather0435: I can happily say I dont know what any of this is. CrowBrilliant6714: Same! My happiness is intact! butmcsquishy: But my curiosity is peaked. CrowBrilliant6714: I agree.. but is it worth the risk? heavymetalmater: It is not, however if you want to dip your toe in start with swamps of dagobah.

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[deleted]: TIFU by sleeping with my niece [deleted] -holdmyhand: >The bed's a king and has one of those isolating mattresses where you aren't supposed to feel movement from someone else. Dude, what's the brand of this mattress? Because I seriously need this one, at least for once in my life I wanna experience this feeling. Oh btw, just tell your wife everything and you'll be fine. Reelplayer: They're called Fantasy Imagination mattresses. The new account model. WeeBo2804: I’ve seen plenty adverts for mattresses where one of the features is the isolating properties. Serena Williams jumping next to a pile of tennis balls in one I believe. FireTyme: what’s that purple mattress again that everyone claims is the best years ago? seemed like a viral fad too wonder how it’s doing Beth_Pleasant: My husband and I sleep on a king size Purple mattress and it's fricking amazing. Bookdragon345: Why? deej363: Not the person you asked, but it does not keep in heat at all so you never get too hot. And for a lot of people it's super supportive and nice. Depending on your pillow you may need to get a new one though. My normal pillow keeps my head in a weird spot on the purple mattress. Bookdragon345: Thank you for answering!!

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[deleted]: TIFU by going on a nsfw sub. [removed] bakirelopove: Can we see some of your dad's work? Secret_Tie_8907: Really, do you have any consciences? bakirelopove: I just wanna know if it's any good 😟 anphalas: Op enjoyed it at first bakirelopove: Happy 🎂 day

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[deleted]: Tifu by wearing shorts to a bar [removed] ZirePhiinix: Why not give it a shot? Worst case scenario she says no and that's exactly the same as not calling her. onecrispynugget19: She can definitely say worse things than no

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Cherry___Popper: TIFU by trying a menstral cup The most traumatic and embarrassing thing just happened to me literally 15 minutes ago. So I bought myself a menstral cup, if you don't know what that is just Google, coz constantly buying tampons is expensive and hey who doesn't like helping the environment. I put it in and I'm like cool and then... I can't get it out, at all. I pushed it too high and could barely even reach it and I was freaking out. I googled and it always said you can manage to get it out, well it took me 30 minutes and I still couldn't. So I ended up going to a doctor, luckily it was a lady so I felt less awkward, and she got it out for me, she even struggled. I'm surprised my mom didn't laugh at me about it, I told her that and she said "why would I laugh? I'd be shit scared if this happened to me" so that was cool I guess.But I feel bad for doing this to that poor lady but she said it was okay but I feel she'll be having nightmares tonight. Before her I went to another place and the guy said he'll only be able to take me in a few days time and I said I'll rather go somewhere else and he said "can't you just wait?" Man seriously asked if I can just deal with something being stuck in me for a few days. So yeah, I'm going to neatly stack away my R300 menstral cup and continue to stick to tampons with cardboard applicators :) TL;DR. I tried a menstral cup for the first time, it got stuck and I had to go see a doctor to get it out steelerschica86: The first few times I used one I had a lot of trouble getting it out too-it’s part of the learning process, unfortunately. I wouldn’t let this discourage you. Also, it may be worth checking out different sized cups because some of them have a longer stem and are easier to grab if you have a higher cervix. Cherry___Popper: Unfortunately it has discouraged me greatly haha. I have severe anxiety disorder so this whole experience really brought it all out. Maybe in the far future, that's why I'm not throwing it away, but thanks for the encouragement! PickPeckSnide: Look up the flex cup. It has a loop to pull that breaks the suction so you pull it out like a tampon. Cherry___Popper: Oh really??? I thought pulling it doesn't break the suction and that you're not supposed to do that PickPeckSnide: It’s a special design where pulling the loop collapses the side so it breaks the suction. Cherry___Popper: I'll definitely try it out in the future- I'm just scared it goes too far in again PickPeckSnide: Understandable. It is scary the first time. Mine got stuck too, I used a spoon handle to break the suction. If you can get past the fear, it is great!! It’s like not being on your period, and you only empty it 2x a day. That’s a whole day at work or school not worrying about it! Cherry___Popper: You're tempting me >:(. I wanted to use something but I was scared I would just push it up further, which I already did when I was trying to get it out. Tampons really aren't bad, I'm fine with them- only if they have applicators with string though. I use tampons with cardboard applicators coz I noticed it's easier to push it in all the way as well as it is a little more environmentally friendly. The only downside would be the leaking and constant spending of money. I already blew quite a bit of money on this product so I can't go ahead and buy another one. I don't know what to do with this one now since I won't use it again, I don't think I'd be able to return a sanitary product. I also only have 2 female friends and I know the one would definitely not use it and the other is my boyfriends sister and I don't think my bf would be keen knowing I'm going to give his sister something that sent me to the doctors office haha PickPeckSnide: Some cups allow a refund if it doesn’t work for you. For example, saalt has a 2 cycle guarantee. Another thing that might help is looking up the anatomy down there. Even if you push it in, there’s really no where for it to go. The “furthest” it can go is to suction directly to a wall, which doesn’t make it harder to remove. My advice is to put it in, and wait for 12 hours to remove it. You probably tried to remove it right away the first time, right? After 12 hours, it will have filled and be a little lower. Put on your favorite mindless tv show, and sit on a towel on a couch or bed propped up with pillows. Lean back with your knees up like you are squatting, but relax your legs. Just focus on the show while you try to get it out. If you start getting frustrated watch tv for 5 mins until you relax again. Your mantra is “there is nowhere for the cup to go. I will get it out” Feel free to DM me for advice or support before trying the doctor again.

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[deleted]: Tifu by flying too close to the sun [removed] runGMT: gotta agree with homie. if she was that amused by it, she's gonna prolly find someone else my man. cut your losses and find another beach bod my guy Enrageder: i mean thats not a surefire way to gauge interest bc she could find it funny but its likely she was offput by how fast he came runGMT: that's probably why she was amused. probably thought it was pathetic and proceeded to ghost. Enrageder: eh kinda out there but if a girl values u only for sex value then that is a girl you should not be with runGMT: I definitely agree. there's plenty of women out there exactly like that. that's the basis of my thinking in the first place. I'm sure they're not all like that, but based on what I'm reading, that's what my gut is telling me. I may be wrong, though.

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[deleted]: TIFU by giving my coworker a very potent cannabis cookie [deleted] jingling_bell: Can you take edibles for chronic pain without getting high? [deleted]: We have begun making higher potency cookies like these for some of our friends that deal with chronic pain. From what I understand, if you have severe enough pain then no you won't get high, but it will take your mind off the pain. I don't deal with chronic pain other than a bad back from manual labor the past 20 years, but my tolerance at this point is pretty fucking high because I smoke everyday as well and I simply forgot that these were what my friends called danger cookies and not the low dose happy fun time cookies. Funny thing is I already gave our boss a couple of cookies because he deals with chronic pain and they didn't get him high. But he slept well. Neither of them know that either has had cookies. In fact, at this point now everybody that I work with has had one of my cookies and none of them know that each other has had them because we all keep it hush. I guess it's my own personal little pleasure knowledge. jingling_bell: lol Good knowledge to have, thanks

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[deleted]: TIFU by getting a nosebleed after watching HBO's "The Last of Us" Episode 3 [deleted] youforgotitinmeta: if that episode *didn't* make you cry, you are a heartless monster weekend-zombie: It was so damn good. I also didn't recognize that Frank also played Armond in s1 of The White Lotus until after watching that episode and reading about it in the TLOU subreddit. skyboundNbeond: If you haven't started...listen to the TLOU podcast.

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BananaOnACoconutTree: TIFU and I'm potentially loosing my BF Hayaaa sorry if I miss wrote anything English ain't my first language :) Anyway, I (24f) am college graduate. At the beginning of college I met this grup of guys who I now consider all good friends. One guy from a group (lets call him Andy) dropped out half way out. I still keep in touch with him and we casually hang out when he is in city where I live....mind u we live in Europe and he lives two towns across so distance between our towns is like 40km or 45 min drive. So few months back he was in my city and he stayed late so there we no more trains or any other transports to his city and he didn't have enough money to call a taxi so he called me and asked if I could drive him home. Even though I was in a middle of my study(I'm preparing my degree paper and it takes a lot of focus to do it and I'm ADHD lazy blob focusing is something I find very hard) and my phone was of he started poundin messages on discord and mail so I said fine I'll take u. From that night he started asking me more and more to take him back home and started guilt tripping me that he is going to take a walk home since he has nobody who could take him home and he would be walking alone at night. Things became to much 3 days ago when he asked again to take him home but his time I had him muted on EVERYTHING so I can focus on paper. At roughly 1am I hear a door bell. Now I rushed to the door bcs i though it was my bf who came from work since he was night shift and i though he forgot his keys but to my surprise there was Andy asking why i didn't see his messages and calls. I said that i was studying and that i turned off everything to focus. Then he processed to guilty tripp me on my own doorstep to take him home. I felt bad and i took him home but I was visibly frustrated but i didn't know how to confront him about that so i just sat there in silence. Andy was asking what is wrong but with every question he asked i become more furious. At the end of journey as he was leaving car i said don't u ever come to my door uninvited or without calling me first even if its life threatening situation. He just smiled and said don't worry. Same night when my BF(26m) came home I told him what happened. At first he was shocked since he likes Andy as friend more then I do, but then he started yelling at me saying I'm f idiot for doing that and that he is going to confront him about it. He went on discord and called him. When Andy answered he started with "hello op thank you for helping me u saved me but i need another favor u see my gf want to come over to me but she doesn't have anyone to take he so i was thinking..." my bf just snaped and went off on him saying he thought more of him and he didn't think he was such manipulative jerk. They had back an forth and after 20 min he came out of room visibility angry. I asked him what happened and he said idk ask him. Since than Andy posted a rent on fb saying how my bf is manipulative and how I'm just his puppy with no brain. Me and my bf have been constantly fighting since then and i don't know what to do. I just want my bf and forget this whole shambles but my bf is blaming me equally as much as him. All i wanted is to help and i never imagined this would happen TL:DR my "friend" took advantage of my kindness and now my bf is going nuts and i don't know what to do prodigy747: Andy is both a bum and an inconsiderate asshole, why even bother being friends with him? And as for your boyfriend, he owes you an apology but probably misdirected his anger at you. Have a conversation with him when things settle down. BananaOnACoconutTree: I was feeling sorry for him bcs he lives with his dad and 2 younger siblings and life wasn't very nice to him or his family so I started hanging out with him bcs nobody wanted if that makes sense prodigy747: Sure it makes sense. But if you go out of your way to help him and he doesn’t do anything for you other than guilt and disrespect you, are you even really friends? BananaOnACoconutTree: U know i never looked at friendship like that, i always look out for the others but i do not expect from ppl to do the same....i kinda look at it as "u don't need to give back the same way i gave u, than that wouldn't be friendship but simple trade". My I'm naive but that's how i was raised prodigy747: You’re not naive and I agree how that’s friendship should be. You’re clearly a good friend because you think that way. But a good friend also doesn’t ignore your boundaries and try to tell you what to do. I don’t expect my friends to do anything in return when I do something for them, but I expect them to treat me decently and with respect in general. Which he does not. BananaOnACoconutTree: Fair point yeah u right...well i cut him off completely and now only thing i have to say is that I wish him good luck in life

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TeeBeeEightSix: TIFU by rating my own orgasm So I've been trying to take better stock of my life and mental health lately, and one idea I had was to start journalling, but with a specific intention in mind. I would divide my life up into categories, such as work, mental health, physical health, social life, etc, and I would give them a score out of 10. The plan was to see if I noticed any trends, like days where I felt particularly good/bad, were there any consistent high/low scores? I became quite methodical about this process and always considering new categories. It was when I commenced a solo trip to pleasure town about three weeks ago that an insidious thought entered my mind: *"Hey, why don't you rate your orgasm out of 10 when it happens?"* I considered it for about a minute, still tugging away, then thought, "Nah, that's too weird, bro. What will the good people of Reddit think of me then?" And then I stopped thinking about it. Except that I didn't. Seconds before I started to orgasm, I couldn't help but give it a number. *"Oh, this is feeling like it's gonna be an 8...definitely an 8...hmm, well, actually more like a 5, to be honest..."* Overthinking during arguably the most crucial part of a male's masturbation session had led to me ruining my own orgasm. Turns out maths isn't the biggest aphrodesiac. But it was fine, life goes on, all of that. And then I stopped thinking about it. Except that I didn't. Two days later, when I was shaking hands with the milkman, I got to the orgasm and then my brain kicked in: *"It's gonna be a 7.5, for sure, bro."* It was a 5, tops. And that's been the trend, literally every single time I've entered hand to gland combat and about to be declared the victor, my nerdy-ass brain ruins the ceremony. Literally every single time. TL;DR - temporarily considered the idea of giving my orgasms a score out of 10. Now I can't stop doing it and it's making me ruin every orgasm I have. S0BEC: Holy crap, go see a therapist. TeeBeeEightSix: You're not my mom. amusedmisanthrope: Bringing your mom into a discussion about your orgasm? That can't end well for someone prone to overthinking. ErikTheAngry: I dunno... moms have been known to help take the edge off things... patchinthebox: OP didn't break his arms yet. Moze4ever: Please tell me this is a reference to a post or something I haven’t heard of before. Spaceman2901: ‘Tis not a tale for the faint of heart. It lives forever in the Reddit Museum of Filth. Beware of a visit there, as there are worse tales…like that of the coconut, or the swamps. Moze4ever: I’ve read the coconut one but never heard of the swamps one. morostheSophist: Then by all means, go in search of the Swamps of Dagobah.

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Szyszko_Stephen: TIFU/ I sent nudes to someone on Snapchat and they screenshotted them and are sending them to all my Instagram friends if I don’t give them $200 Today I fucked up by snapping someone I met a one or two weeks ago on Snapchat. We started talking and she was telling me about herself and I was telling her about myself. And she seemed nice and keep in mind I’m depressed and emotionally unstable when it comes to meeting people on ANY social media. So I start taking and she seems nice. FLASH FORWARD TO TONIGHT. We’re snapping and she’s telling me she’s horny and wants me to send her some vids. I’m doing it any shes telling me to send more. Eventually. After she tells me she wants to send me shower videos. She tells me that if I don’t send her $200 to her Cashapp that she is going to send to my Instagram my screenshotted nudes. I start panicking and having a mental breakdown freaking the fuck out and have no ideas of what to do. As of now. I have reported her Instagram multiple times. I haven’t blocked her Snapchat yet until the case disputes are said and done. And I’m not giving her a single cent and don’t have any money even if I did want to. Which I don’t. DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE REAL KICKER OF THIS IS?! The pics/videos she sent were of a model online and she was acting as if it was actually her. And on top of that. She says her parents are police officers. Which they may or may not be but what is that going to do in a situation like this? Nothing. TL;DR I accidentally sent nudes to someone on Snapchat and now they are threatening to send them to my Instagram friends DMs. Afrojones66: This is extortion, and blackmail. Don’t do it, OP. There’s no guarantee they don’t send the nudes, or ask for more money/favors. Szyszko_Stephen: I don’t know what I do next LuxRolo: Block her, if you give her money there's no guarantee she won't just keep asking for more. I've never heard of anyone having their nudes leaked by this scam. Block her and remember this lesson Szyszko_Stephen: I’m worried if I block her Snapchat she’ll send it. I already blocked her Instagram but should I block the Snapchat as well? LuxRolo: Absolutely, block her everywhere you have her. Also, depending on your country, you might be able to report her for revenge porn laws, if you have some evidence via your snapchat or Instagram chats. Szyszko_Stephen: Unfortunately when I blocked her I no longer have access to her chats. I do however have her account username and the model she was pretending to be. terralynn98: Send this link to her username: [Internet Crime Complaint Center(IC3) | File a Complaint](https://www.ic3.gov/Home/FileComplaint#) That should shut her up (most likely not even a her, BTW)

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[deleted]: TIFU by kissing another man's wife when I was completely wasted. [deleted] OkVolume1: Gotta let your wife kiss Sue now. blonsk: No, I think he needs to kiss Sue's husband. humboldt77: Honestly, he should probably sit by himself while sue, her husband, and his wife have a threesome. His punishment for jumping into things without discussing it with everyone. thetinyjaguar: No, now Sue's husband gets to fuck OP. humboldt77: I mean… OP might enjoy that… thetinyjaguar: Gotta take it like a man..... humboldt77: To paraphrase Steve Hughes, nothing manlier than a dude fucking a dude. thetinyjaguar: Lol, some guys even like it. All I know is that OP can show his ultimate commitment to his wife by taking some dick.

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[deleted]: TIFU by telling my friend’s crush he liked her after he outed this other guy in work [deleted] apexncgeek: Backstabbing your friend, possibly costing him his job, most likely ruining any chance he had with the girl, and using his action towards someone else to legitimize your action. Man, that's a trifecta of FU with one sentence. Upvoted. penderhippy: >Backstabbing for friend, possibly costing him his job, most likely ruining any chance he had with the girl, and using his action towards someone else to legitimize your action. Man, that's a trifecta of FU with one sentence. Upvoted. sheeesh when you're good at somethin eh!!!

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too-many-words: TIFU by bringing my crush home We were hanging out for 3 months in a small friend group. I was totally into him, so I was overjoyed when he confessed to me. But the problem was I'm a 27F with very little sexual experience. I did try to have sex a couple of times without success. I'm always insecure about this, and feel like there might be something wrong with me. So with the happiness that my crush also liked me, comes the anxiety that I wouldn't be able to peform when we gets more intimate. I decided that I'll take it slow so I have time to prepare myself. We had a first date and it was wonderful. He missed the last bus and was gonna have to take uber home which wasn't ideal. We talked for a bit and in the heat of the moment, I said he could go to my place instead if he wanted. I felt an instant regret, but instead of retracting the offer, I told him we were just gonna sleep (of course we didn't) . He laughed a bit and agreed. And what I was afraid would happen happened. He initiated it but said it was OK if I didn't want to. I did but I was so worried that it'd fail. So I told him I'd just give him a blow job instead. That went OK but when he asked if he could do things to me too, I started to sweat. I told him I was kinda a virgin. He was surprised but said nothing. I let him do stuff to me eventually (just no penetration). I was so tense the whole time and it showed. He tried his best but I didn't respond at all. In the morning, he asked me some questions like if I ever had an orgasm, etc. With my insecurity I assumed he doubt that I couldn't do it at all. That bothered me a lot. I was gonna be away for a few weeks and he said he doesn't like texting too much. He just wanted to see me when I come back. With my mental state I assumed he was no longer interested in me. The next day, I was under immense stress from dealing with my landlord. He drunk texted me that night. Under stress, I immediately assumed he was asking for sex from the way he worded it. I was so frustrated and angry and sad. I talked to my bestfriend and she did what friends do best, talking shit about the guy and telling me to forget about him and find someone better. That convinced me. So the next day, I texted telling him we should just be friends. He asked why. I sent a paragraph complaining about everything he did. Some of the stuff I said could be quite hurtful. He was shocked but accepted it. Now I can't stop thinking about him every single day. All the problem seems manageable once I calmed down. I should've told him how I felt about the situation. Instead I acted like a teenager with all of my assumptions. I know bringing him home that night wasn't the my main problem, but if I didn't rush it and gave myself more time to figure out my anxiety, things would've been different. TL;DR: I have anxiety about my sexual capability so I decided to take things slow with my crush. Still I brought him home on the first date. Things went wrong and I ended up ruin things for us. AllanfromWales1: Two options: Work through this somehow, sometime, or die effectively a virgin. Send him an e-mail apologising and trying to explain the depths of your anxieties. Ask him if he's willing to help you on a project to help you overcome them through a slow and cautious process of getting to be comfortable with physicality. If he says no, too much responsibility, then you're no worse off than if you hadn't texted him again. If he says yes, then meet and discuss openly how you want this to proceed to the point where you lose your inhibitions and your 'virginity'. aussie_nub: >Send him an e-mail No, pick up the damn phone. OP, you're a bit older than most, so it's completely understandable that you'd have higher levels of anxiety and the like, but everyone goes through it the first time. Your best bet is to get in contact with him as soon as possible, apologise and try to have a proper conversation. One of 3 things is going to happen: 1. You did so much damage already and he won't even talk to you. If that's the case, it's already done and there's absolutely nothing you could do to fix, but at least you tried. 2. He has a proper conversation with you but still feels hurt by you and decides that you're done. 3. He realises what's happened and properly attributes it to your anxiety and you have a much better foundation to build any future relationship on top of. Either way, you're going to have to face that anxiety. If not with this guy, you'll have to do it with the next person or the one after that or see a professional or die a lonely person. Don't make it the latter and you'll likely find it best if it's with someone you care about rather than a professional. AllanfromWales1: Pick up the phone and the anxieties will be there, making a f***-up more likely. An e-mail you can think through with more care, check what you've written and only send it when you're happy with it. aussie_nub: Read my last point, she HAS to face the anxieties eventually. If she's super worried about them, get a piece of paper and write everything down first. The hardest part is going to be getting into a rhythm. Sending an email is going to feel so impersonal to him that it's a bad play. AllanfromWales1: Hopefully we can agree to disagree.

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Cold-Historian-8999: TIFU by going on 4chan Hello everybody this is one of my first posts on reddit so be patient with me please. So basically what happened is i went on the adult gif board on the website 4chan (what can i say i was horny) and stumbled across a rekt thread. Now I didn't know what it was at the time but i clicked on it and some of the most horrible gore ive ever seen poped up im talking beheadings shootings horrible horrible things i even saw the video of the pow getting castrated by russian soldiers that you may have heard of in the news horrible things that i cant even describe on here if you have ever been on 4chan you know exactly what im talking about. Now i cant stop thinking about it All day and night and i think i may be badly traumatised everytime i look at someone i think of the things ive seen and it makes me have an anxiety attack basically. I know i deserve no sympathy since i have done this to myself and its my own fault and im not shooting any shots at 4chan either i know i shouldn't have been there im just looking for advice i have so much anxiety all the time and im so scared that these horrible things will one day happen to me. TL;DR: I went on 4chan now Im badly traumatised (Edit thanks for all the upvotes and positive comments im trying to reply to everyone but theres so many comments i cant respond to them all) TimelyFortune: Sounds like you kept scrolling through it judging by how many videos you described. You have only yourself to blame MonstahButtonz: While self-admittedly horny, oddly. Welcome to how Millenials feel. I used to see cows getting their faces ripped off by trains when just trying to download a YIFY torrent from PirateBay. And don't even get me started on the shit that made its way onto my PC unintentionally from Limewire, Kazaa, and Morpheus. The Gnutella Network (P2P in general) absolutely ruined my life. itsjustmefortoday: It was rotten.com when I was a teenager. XxHostagexX: Not wanting to look that site up, but is it really still around? drewts86: Negative. I think it died around 2012. Sucks too when you’re trying to tell someone about the old days of the darker side of the internet but you can’t really show them. einex55: Holy crap, remember the one about the old man that boiled alive in his tub? drewts86: Not particularly. The only one I definitively remember is what was left over of a dude's head after his head got blown off with a shotgun. Don't remember if he committed suicide or someone killed him. There wasn't anything left above the lower part of his jaw. Between that, Faces of Death and some other random videos we downloaded from Limewire I'm so desensitized that none of it really bothers me enough to warrant remembering - and this is from someone that has an elephant brain and can generally remember everything. The other site I used to frequent quite a bit was Fark, which was the predecessor to Digg and probably the original news link aggregator. einex55: Right I believe he made a suicide attempt but I think they said he survived it, albeit briefly. drewts86: Not the one I'm thinking of when I say this guy was missing everything but his lower jaw, I mean all that was left was his neck and whatever was holding his lower jaw onto his neck. There was no part of the skull left.

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Background-Bath-4437: TIFU: I Helped A Girl Cheat On Her Boyfriend [removed] AllanfromWales1: Is it possible that you are a basement-dwelling neckbeard making this up for shits and giggles? Background-Bath-4437: If only

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MommaSunshine212: TIFU by leaving my coffee in the car Obligatory this happened a few days ago. Husband and I got coffee while running some errands. Met my mom for breakfast, left coffee in the truck. When we were done, the coffee was still warm so I thought “fuck yeah” and drank it because it was really good coffee. I quickly realized there was something in my mouth that wasn’t coffee. As my husband is parking in the Walmart parking lot, I realize it’s a dead spider. That was in my mouth. Cue freak out. I jump out of the truck gagging and spitting coffee everywhere. In the hubbub, my phone fell out of my pocket and hit the ground, shattering one of the camera lenses. Tldr: left coffee in the truck, where a spider must have thought it would make for a lovely swim. Drank said coffee, got spider in my mouth, freaked out and broke my phone. N180ARX: Lucky you're not in Australia. Probably would have died 😂 phalse21: I'm picturing the facehugger scene from Aliens. 🫣 artemishorizon: I was showing a photo I took of a dead spider to some friends the other day and compared it to a “super facehugger” (the big one from Alien 3). Lol

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Strange_Note7308: TIFU by giving my husband head while he was sleeping This incident did not happen today. It happened when we first started dating around 5 years ago. I just remembered it. But it is worth sharing. Around 5 years ago, my(42f) husband(50m) and I started dating. We didn't move in together because we were still sorting things out because we both have daughters. One night when we went on a date, he insisted I stay the night. His daughter was at a friend's house for sleepover. My daughter was staying with my mother. So, it looked like a golden opportunity. We spent the night cuddling and $ex obviously. The next day, I woke up a bit early. He was sleeping. I thought he looked really good while sleeping. So, this idea came into my head. I saw it in a magazine that guys love it when their SO wakes them up by giving them a blowjob. I decided to test it. Let me make it clear here. I had his full consent. He told me that if I ever wanted to do it with him while asleep I have his full permission. Though this is my first time trying it. I pulled his pants down and decided to suck him off. He was moaning and making noises which only encouraged me to keep it going. He opened his eyes and looked at me. He panicked and shoved me off. I lost balance and hit the chair next to the bed. He realized what he has done and apologized to me. He was freaking out because I had a minor cut that was bleeding. He kept saying sorry. He somehow manage to dress him and me up and immediately rush me to the hospital. It was really awkward for me to explain it to the nurse about what actually happened. When we got home, we sat down and talked. He told me he was sorry. And that he never thought that someone would wake him up with a bj. This was his first time and he freaked out and acted on impulse. He promises to take care of me until I heal. He sounded sorry and thought that I would break up with him over this. I also apologized because I should have gave some kind of warning before hand. I understand that he acted on self defense and I will not break up with him because of that. We eventually mend things off. I still had to tell him to stop feeling guilty. Anyways, I still laugh whenever I think about that time. I do wake him up like that even now. But he never kicked me ever again. TL;DR: I decided to give my husband head while he was sleeping. He freaked out and pushed me. I fell and hit my head and he rushed me to the hospital. He was guilty and we sorted things out. [deleted]: You went to a hospital for a minor cut? That's the only fuck up here. Strange_Note7308: There blood coming out of it. He actually freaked out and his first response was to take me to the hospital. Even the nurse said it was nothing. But then again, he didn't have first aid kit. [deleted]: Blood does come out of cuts yes.... It's because of all the blood on the inside. First aid kit? Toilet paper and pressure for a minute or two then find a band aid. Strange_Note7308: Like I said his first instinct was to get me to hospital. When I fell the bang was really loud. I could have had a concussion. He was freaking out a lot. Kcnflman: Head lacerations bleed and generally look worse due to high vascularity and tight skin. Bobbsham: Yeah, I learnt about the extra bleedyness from learning about pro wrestling. (it's why they razor their foreheads, bleeds more easily for the visual effect and heals really quick) this was back in the attitude and extreme era of WWE.

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Dismal-Ad6885: TIFU by talking about sexual stuff to my crush that friendzone me We were watching tv together and then we got on to the topic of sex and stuff like that. We talk a lot about hot stuff and it honestly it just made it more painful for me because I realize I won’t be that guy. She said she wouldn’t mind having a threesome or a friends with benefits. This made it even worse because I’m pretty sure she would never want to have sex with me. She just not into me and it makes it painful being around her. I like her a lot but honestly I’m going through a lot rn and I need to refocus and move on with her. I still Am in pain rn but hopefully it can better. I figured this girl was into me but I wasn’t good enough. Honestly, I fucked up badly by talking about sexual stuff because it turned me on and she was into it but she wasn’t to me. TL;DR I’m so jealous and wish all this sex talk that we had could’ve been me. It a painful reminder that she not into me. She views me as good friend. She trust me a lot. I wish I neverr talk to her about this stuff. KM68: If she was the one that mentioned friends with benefits, she may be putting out a hint for you. Zenthils: Lol no. Stop trying to instill the idea that people making conversation automatically means they're interrested. Also the term friendzone is cringe. You're her friend or you're not. Are you her friend just because you're hoping to fuck her? If so, i suggest you take a step back and reevaluate how you perceive your "friends". You're not entitled to sex just because you're nice to people. You'll meet people who will want to do it with you. She's not one of them. Dismal-Ad6885: No I’m her friend because I like spending time with her. I never said I was entitled to sex wtf Zenthils: Then why are you regretting talking about things friends talk about? I didn't say you said this, i'm saying that's how you sound. Especially with you using "friendzone" 4_Legged_Duck: This stuff gets complicated and isn't so clear cut. You can genuinely be friends with someone, value them, enjoy their company, admire them, care for them, respect them, all that, and find them physically and emotionally attractive to the point you wish you could date/shag them. The Friendzone is a very common use term these days. When used properly it's that point that a person could and does desire you romantically but won't do it because they're afraid of "losing a good friend." I assume OP and others tend to use it when they mean they're just friends and the other person doesn't see them romantically at all. I think the distinction matters but... You're making some harsh assumptions. Yes, if OP only wants to sleep with this chick, he should back off. And he, should probably back off so he's not putting himself in pain as that's not fair to himself or this chick. But dude have some tact. Zenthils: Friendzone cannot be used ever properly because it's redundant. You're either a friend or not. Saying friendzone implies there is a zone you'd rather be in rather than this one and this is a problem. If you are aware that friendzone is a "popular" term you should be aware that it is rooted in the whole "nice guy" discourse. Which is not good. Nothing harsh about telling someone to take a step back if they're unable to perceive their existence as just a friend with someone they have feelings for. Also my first answer was regarding the guy saying "well maybe she's hinting at something 😉😉" which is exactly what someone desperate for a chance with their crush should not hear/read. 4_Legged_Duck: >If you are aware that friendzone is a "popular" term you should be aware that it is rooted in the whole "nice guy" discourse. Which is not good. I understand where the term can be rooted. But as I've said, people are complex. It's possible for us to hold a multitude of emotions. Two people can be friends and the one wishing to be more than friends. That's an entirely natural position to be in and shouldn't be vilified. **The issue however is how one operates when in this position.** If "Nice Guy" or "Friendzone'd" guy or whatever you want to say here keeps being friendly and nice with the hopes it'll open her pants? Yeah, that's really shitty, no problem. If he genuinely appreciates her and wants to remain friends and figure out his feelings? Pretty hard to describe this dude as toxic. But I do agree the notion of her hinting at something. On one hand, the healthiest thing to do is to ask her straight up if she's interested in something more than friends knowing that can easily end the friendship.

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DonyWasLost: TIFU by accidentally showing my homies group chat to minors. Basically there is this small place in my town where a master teaches Wushu to people. He's the only martial arts teacher in my small town. This morning, we did some training and all, as usual. When we finish the kids (and some adults) like to stay there to play. Its totally fun because we don't play video games. The game we played today, was a game where you spin an empty plastic water bottle on a smooth surface, and whoever the bottle cap points to, has to answer a question as by the others, truthfully. This time I was the one who got picked by the bottle. They asked me if I have a girlfriend and my virgin self (discord user) said no. Of course, them being kids, most 12, they didn't believe me. They went on to talk about how I would text someone on discord almost every morning and be protective of my screen whenever they try to peak. So I decided, I'm gonna show them my Discord DMs to prove it. They were reading all my messages, too bad they aren't good enough at English to actually understand. But then, they stumbled upon the homies group chat. They opened it. And there it was, 4 fucking pictures of oversexualized anime cows. Not only that, they decided to keep scrolling up to find Genshin pron and even gay men kissing. They probably think I'm a big creep now. I can't help but feel like I'm a pedophile(me being M 14). I wonder if they see me as a sex offender. I feel like they are going to stay away from me. Worst part, I am the most family friendly guy there. I don't swear, I don't say bad stuff and I rarely do nsfw jokes. TLDR: I accidentally showed 12 year old children oversexualized anime cow hentai. Dry_Possibility_1389: They're probably just shocked. I guess try explain it to them but honestly with a two year age gap you shouldn't be looking at that stuff "with the homies" either... blairbear555: Dude come on. 12 and 14. When I was 12, making friends with a 14 year old was how you got access to your first Playboy if your pops didn’t have a stash. Dry_Possibility_1389: A Playboy magazine isn't the same as sexualised anime cows and genshin porn, lets be real dude. blairbear555: Yea you’re right. That stuff is just weird fantasy art. Not even real. I think the 12 year olds are going to be fine. It doesn’t seem to have ruined the 14 year old yet. Dry_Possibility_1389: Cope

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deserthawk117: TIFU by thinking things were settling down and I could get to bed early This actually happened today, just now. Sorry for the length - the background is needed to understand the dismay I felt during my fuck up. To to set the scene, it has been a hard four months for me [M35] and my wife [F35]. Our firstborn daughter just turned 3 months old. The month leading up to her birth was, to put it bluntly, a shit show. Probably it's own TIFU post with a tl;dr my 8 month pregnant wife got bit on the face by a brown recluse spider and we spent the last month spending at least one night in the hospital every week instead of getting ready. But that is a story for another time. But finally our amazing daughter was born and she is absolutely adorable. But, as babies do, she has been waking us up multiple times night. To crank up the stress, my wife has also been battling a touch of post-partum depression. Navigating the holidays with a sleep deprivation I haven't known since The Departed won an Oscar has been a trip, to say the least. [Sidebar, I wouldn't trade it for the world!] To try to keep some shread of our sanity, my wife tries to go to bed early while I take the 3rd shift hours between 8p and 3a. She takes some medicine that makes her very sleepy, which will matter later. This was a great system when I was on leave, but since the New Year I am back to work and the system is breaking down a little. Luckily I live in California and had 8 weeks of paternity leave, plus some vacation. Less luckily in the 2.5ish months I have been off I have royally screwed up what little resemblance of a sleep schedule I had. Needless to say, the transition back to work last week was a little rough. My team kept things moving pretty well, but there was a lot of fires to come back to. However, my second week back was starting strong with a good Monday. Work was busy but productive. The daughter was starting to sleep in 4 or 5 hour stretches. We interviewed a babysitter to come help out once or twice a week. We actually both sat down and watched a movie [John Wick] together for the first time in forever. I was able to snuggle both my wife and our dog, Corgi Dude [M3]. The rain was pattering leisurely off the roof in an unusual SoCal winter rain storm, and our daughter was settling in for the night. I felt like things were returning to some semblance of normal. And here is where TIFU. I became overconfident and thought I might actually be able to get to bed at a decent time tonight. I might even get a whole 7 hours of sleep, or at least two 3 hour chunks! I challenged fate thinking I might be able to relax. So I went downstairs to the porcelain palace to get ready for bed and catch up on reddit. I was thinking to myself, it hasn't rained this hard in quite a while. Wasn't there something that I was supposed to check before it rained? Can't think of anything - it must be fine. And then it happened. As I was sitting on the throne, a puddle of something started to seep under the door from the bedroom to the bathroom. Is Corgi Dude peeing? It doesn't seem yellow. So I open the door, and Corgi Dude is staring up at me guiltily - but it isn't his pee. The puddle is still growing and is almost a quarter inch (0.5 cm) deep in some places. It extends from the bathroom door to my nightstand. As I get out of the bathroom, I see the puddle is also by the dresser. And my wife's nightstand. And then it hit me. What I was supposed to do at some point before winter in the last 4 months - check that the balcony drain hasn't plugged up with leaves so the porch didn't overflow and flood the bedroom. My. Heart. Sank. I quickly took off my socks, hiked up my pants, and opened the sliding door to the balcony to try unblock the drain and stop the duluge of water overflowing into the bedroom. After wading in ankle deep cold water for two minutes while being pelted by rain, I finally found the cover and unplugged it - at least the flooding stopped. I still needed to get the standing water out of our room though. I could use our carpet wet vac! Except I had thrown that out two weeks ago making room for the new crib as we hadn't used it in years... It was at this point my wife came into the bedroom, horrified. I asked if she had taken her drugs yet - and of course she had. It was now t-minus 20 minutes before she wenty nappy night night, regardless of the flooding status of the room. I had her bring me more towels in the minutes she had left before she fell asleep on the couch. So instead of getting ready for bed, I spent the next hour soaking up towel after towel of water and wringing it into a cleaning bucket. The final count was 10 gallons soaked up, not including the 4 sopping towels that went right into the wash and what seeped into the floorboards. And to top it off, an hour later, both me and my daughter are wide awake! So much for sleep, now where is John Wick 2... tl;dr TIFU by thinking I could get to bed at a decent hour for the first time in months, but instead having to spend the evening mopping up my flooded bedroom because I didn't clean the porch drain this year due to new parent sleep deprivation edit: a word EarlyAgent1299: I’m so sorry this happened but that WAS a very compelling read. Congrats to your lil family overall and condolences for the lack of sleep! deserthawk117: Thank you. I hope my little slice of insanity brightened your day a bit!

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[deleted]: TIFU by wearing nazi costume to school I fucked up bigtime today. At my highschool, the studentes of the last year can dress up for a day to celebrate the fact that we made it trough school. For some reason I decided to use my uncle’s helmet from the germans in ww2 (he is a big history freak, not a neonazi or anything), and dress up as a ww2 soldier. I knew that this could be causing some trouble so I decided to cover the nazi-signs with a piece of paper. So the day breaks on and Im riding my bycicle to school, but then in starts to rain and the pieces of paper fall off. Im exposed now, but for some reason my dumbass tought that it would be allright and I just went further to school. Then, at school happens the worst thing that could have possebly happened: another group of students decided to dress up as jews. At first we tought that it was funny so we played along and took a few silly photo’s. Then I realised that a lot of people thought that we had planned this and now, am I and the students who dressed up as jews seen as racists by the rest of the school. What should I do to restore my reputation? TL;DR: I dressed up as a german ww2 soldier and some other kids as jews. We are now all seen as racist and Im lookin for a way to restore my reputation. PanzerSloth: You had so many opportunities to realize "Maybe dressing up as a Nazi is a bad idea" and breezed right past every single one of them. DayumnDamnation: That thing about the panzer... PanzerSloth: You know I always forget what my shitty username is on this site, well played. Happy cake day you hexagonal fuck lol Kat1eQueen: A Panzer doesnt have to be a tank, the shell of a turtle is also a Panzer so you can just claim that your username is a funny turtle sloth warbleblog: Or just immediately get recognized as a german nazi sloth like how I read the name cause this is reddit